You Do For Family
by MKAmericanhero
Summary: Some one shots surrounding Lena/Kara's relationship. I just started watching the show and it has gotten me through hard times and so has writing this so hopefully its at least a solid first attempt in this fandom. First chapter is Lena seeking Alex's blessing for marriage.
1. Chapter 1

**So I just started watching the show so be kind, but also I write when I have bad episodes of anxiety or depression. Right now I am really struggling with passive suicidal thoughts (I'm safe) but writing keeps me grounded and make me feel like I am making something happy for myself and others. I like the idea of some one shots of Lena and Kara's relationship. Just wanted to start with one and see how it went. I have other stories I need to update, but this helped me through a rough weekend. Some things might not be straight canon or might be OOC, but I tried not to stray too much. **

At almost every single stage of her life, Lena was reminded how important family was. Now, that being said, this feeling of family was not taught to her in an effort to provide support and family bonding, but instead was hammered into her psyche as a requirement to show absolute devotion, not love, to her bloodline. Putting it simply, Lena did not grow up with a family who spent much of their day looking out for the other people who they claimed to love without conditions. Then she met Kara Danvers and was introduced to the wonderful, though sometimes overwhelming, world that comes with having a family full of people who love each other because it is in their hearts, not because it will further their power struggle.

Lena sometimes still struggled to fully understand how Kara's family differed so much from her own when the two youngest members of each family had so many things in common. Lena remembered her first time meeting Eliza and how she tried so hard to put on a brave face to suit her image, but her bouncing leg and nail biting gave her anxiety away to her girlfriend who tried endlessly to assure Lena that she would be most welcome in the Danvers family home.

"Kara, I love that you are so hopelessly optimistic, but think about it: her youngest child is dating a Luthor. There is no way in hell she doesn't have some concerns about my intentions toward you."

"Uh huh, and what exactly are your intentions toward me?" Kara smiled as they drove and she could see Lena pout out of the corner of her eye.

"Kara I'm serious. She probably is gonna have an interrogation set up when we get there."

"You are exaggerating."

"Alex did it! And it was a real interrogation room Kara."

"Once! And trust me Eliza and Alex might share blood, but they lock horns on a lot of things and I promise you, no third degree. Just normal family dinner conversations."

"Darling, my family staged hostile takeovers over dinner, that doesn't make me feel better." Kara felt bad instantly and she happened to pull up to the house right at that moment. She turned her body toward Lena and forced her girlfriend to look at her.

"Listen, I know family stuff is scary for you and if you want, we will go back home right now, but you should remember something. This woman I'm introducing you to, is NOT the woman who raised you. Ok? She raised me Lena. She raised a kid, an alien no less, when she had her own daughter to deal with. She and Jeremiah and Alex, they didn't have to love me Lena, they just did and on some level, they chose to. They chose, in spite of everything, to love me and put up with the challenges I brought to their lives. They helped me control my powers and they didn't make me feel like a freak. The woman in that house who is eavesdropping from the living room window right now isn't going to judge you because of who raised you."

Lena looked over her shoulder and sure enough she could see a vague outline of Eliza who was clearly watching her daughter and Lena from inside.

"You don't know that Kara."

"Yes, I do. I know it because she has already welcomed one person into her heart who had a rough go at the early stages of life and she raised me without ever making me feel like I had to prove my worth. She is gonna love you Lena. She will love you because I love you and that it what families do."

"I do love you." Kara smiled and unbuckled her seatbelt, kissing Lena as she reached for the door handle.

"Good, cuz I love you too."

Lena was brought back into reality when her assistant buzzed her phone, alerting her that Alex was here to see her. Lena straightened a few papers around her desk and tried to collect herself, having gotten slightly tearful at the memory. She told Jess to send Alex in and just as she stood from her chair, Alex walked into her office with Jess behind her a few steps.

"Thank you Jess, that should be it for the day. After I meet with Agent Danvers I will be heading out myself." Her assistant said her good nights and left Alex in Lena's office. Alex turned back toward Lena and smirked.

"So I'm Agent Danvers today huh? What did I do to get called to the principal's office?"

"Would you prefer I call you Alexandra?" Lena smirked back and Alex feigned hurt.

"Full name and everything, damn Luthor you really are in rare form this evening. You must keep my baby sister in stiches. Speaking of which, where is she"

Lena gestured to the couch and as Alex sat, Lena followed suit.

"She is at home cooking dinner for us and she made me promise to stay at the office till she came to get me." Alex's eyes got big, "you left my sister unattended in your super nice kitchen? Girl the Fire Department is gonna call any minute informing you of your condo being destroyed by smoke." Lena smiled, but shook her head.

"She took those cooking classes with me for her birthday remember? She isn't a James Beard level chef, but she can make a handful of things now without burning the food or our home. So, I trust her." Alex nodded and leaned back in the sofa. "She can make a mean pasta dish now. However, if she is busy trying not to start fires, what are you doing here and why was my presence demanded?"

"I didn't demand you come." Alex scrunched her nose at Lena and she relented, "ok I did a bit, but I was nice about it. And I promise this won't take long, but I wanted to talk to you without someone who can hear things across town just down the hall."

"Ah, so you did call me to gossip about Kara. So, tell me, what has she done? Did she start snoring again? Not putting her wet towels in the hamper?" Lena shook her head in amazement, "you Danvers sisters are a weird pair, you know that right?"

"I do, but you are massively in love with my sister and we've become friends so really who is weirder in this situation?"

"Oh, I know I am guilty of falling prey to the charms of your family, one of you in particular has seemed to have stolen my heart rather successfully." Alex continued the back and forth kidding by pretending to gag at Lena's clear declaration of love for Kara.

"I get it, you love my sister. That is lovely Lena, and very nice to hear that you two are so happy, but if that is what this call was for you could've texted me how much you love Kara." Lena smiled and nodded, "you are correct, I could have told you all of that in a text or over the phone, no reason to drag you across town." Alex stood up and laughed as she began to put her coat back on.

"Well then, I will leave you to call for your chariot while I try to beat traffic going home. Should you ever need a formal sit down again this close to the weekend it had better end with you asking for my blessing to marry Kara." Lena let Alex get about two steps from the door before she called after her, "so I have it then?"

Alex turned around, already reading something on her phone, "have what?"

"Your blessing to marry Kara." The info had half registered in Alex's head, but she thought she had heard wrong. When she looked up at Lena the executive was standing a few feet from her with a wide, but genuine smile.

"You're joking right?" Alex wanted to be excited, but didn't want to jump the gun and Lena knew that this too was a family trait, born out the two sisters' work: never get your hopes too high about a good thing, because you might lose it. Lena shook her head, "I assure you Agent Danvers, I am quite serious about this." To punctuate her point Lena tossed Alex a small box that she seemed to have made appear out of thin air and Alex dropped her phone to catch it. Alex opened the box to find a stunning diamond engagement ring that had to have cost more than 6 months of her rent for the diamonds alone. Alex looked at the ring for a while in dead silence which would have worried most suitors, but Lena knew better and she gave Alex time. After a minute or two, Alex sat down, right where she had been standing and kept looking at the ring while sitting on the floor of Lena's office. Lena slipped off her heels and walked over to Alex and began to fidget with her fingers as she started talking.

"Alex, I know how much you love Kara and honestly that's why I thought to ask you at all. I know I don't need anyone's permission but Kara's, but it felt right asking you and…" Alex waved her hand to stop Lena and gestured for her to sit down with her.

"My sister has rubbed off on you: you are babbling." Alex smiled and Lena took a breath to steady herself.

"I love her Alex and that is coming from a woman who never thought she would ever love anyone like this. People saw my last name and they saw money, power or an opportunity for both, they never saw me. Then your sister showed up and maybe those glasses your dad gave her really are magic because damn it Alex, I never felt more seen than when Kara Danvers was standing in front of me." Alex understood what Lena was saying on a level that other people likely wouldn't. She too knew what it was like to be truly seen by her little sister and it had nothing to do with the superhero's ability to see through most structures.

Lena continued, "I know I'll never totally know the pain she felt when she watched her home vanish in front of her, but I know what being alone and scared feels like. I know what not fitting in feels like. And I know how exhausting it is running after the life someone else handed you. Kara made me realize I could have a beautiful life and I didn't have to chase it or please anyone, I just had to be happy with myself. I promise you, she won't ever be scared and alone with me, it may not always be a perfect life, but she won't be alone for any part of it. Ok? She doesn't have to run or chase a beautiful life anymore Alex. The life she built for herself is the one I want to be a part of forever. She doesn't…she doesn't have to run anymore, not with me." Lena had tears streaming down her face and it was the first time Alex ever watched Lena come totally undone with happy emotions before. It was jarring, but it was also the single most beautiful thing Alex had ever seen. Alex moved right next to Lena so they were shoulder to shoulder and Alex took a deep breath, choosing her words carefully.

"When she came to live with us, I was such a brat to her. I was mad on some level because my mother told me to watch out for her, protect her, make sure she settled into life here ok. I always loved her, don't get me wrong, but I tried so hard not to, like just fought like hell not to love her. Then this one night I woke up and she wasn't in her bed. I looked around the house and found her on our front porch. I snapped at her for being outside so late or something dumb, then I noticed she was crying. I asked what was wrong, she told me everything was too loud. It was like 2am so it was dead quiet, so I didn't get it. I couldn't understand the pain she was feeling because she could hear everything and I mean everything. In that moment, everything my dad had told me hit me: she had really lost everything she had, she had powers she couldn't control and I was being a brat cuz I didn't want to share my life with this new girl. But seeing her cry, for something like this was heartbreaking and on instinct I reached out and hugged her as tight as I possibly could and she was afraid to hug me back because she knew she was stronger than I was. I told her it was ok to hug me back, if she wanted to just be gentle. She did and she leaned her head on my shoulder after a while and cried. She cried, I cried, we were a mess. When we calmed down she said thank you to me for helping her. I asked if she could still hear the noise and she told me they ever go away. I snapped and told her I would make them…make them go away." Alex was already crying, but she stayed very focused on the ring and Lena let her talk, knowing this was something Alex had to get out.

"I put white noise machines in the room so she could sleep, I put them in every room and drove my mom crazy doing it, but it helped. They weren't gone, but she could use the white noise to block out what she couldn't handle hearing and focus on hearing us talk to her or the TV or whatever. In that moment out on the porch, I became her big sister and there was nothing I wouldn't do for her. See, you and I, humans in general, our bad days or our storms, they are like regular rain storms. We see some coming, others not, but we know they will run out of rain eventually and things will be ok, sometimes they are even pretty. Kara's storms are like hurricanes: she sees so many of them coming, but all the prep in the world can't make her feel ready and then they hit and its chaos in her heart. My job, as her sister, was to help her calm her storms, give her the promise that even though it was big and scary, this storm would eventually pass and she wasn't in it alone." Alex closed the ring box and taking Lena's hand, placed it back in the palm of her hand. Lena looked at Alex, both women had eyes full of tears.

"Alex?" Alex shook her head to stop Lena. "It was my job, but now, it is going to be yours. Don't get me wrong, I will always be her big sister, but no more storm chasing for me. You have the watch now and, with it, you have my blessing." Lena smiled through her tears and hugged Alex. When they both stood up Alex brushed tears away from her eyes as she watched Lena put the ring in her safe.

"You should call Kara, I'm sure she already is feeling something is off." Lena nodded: she and Kara did have a deep bond and she knew her girlfriend would feel something off the second she laid eyes on Lena.

"I'll tell her I had a long week and just needed to cry it out." Alex nodded and pointed to the door. "I really should get home, but you keep me posted on this and if I can help you just let me know."

"I will." Lena put her shoes back on and began to gather her things to go home and Alex turned on her heel. "One more thing." Lena nodded and waited for Alex to round out their conversation. "I know we covered this when you started dating her, but just as a reminder. If you break her heart, I will hunt you down and kill you."

Lena knew Alex was dead serious and if anyone could make it happen, it was her. Lena always respected that about Alex: no idle threat of death, just an honest reminder of what fate had in store should Lena ever fail to be the kind of partner Kara deserved.

"I remember that conversation Agent Danvers, its not one I'll soon forget. But I assure you, you can rest easy. I love Kara, more than anyone else. Your faith in me is not misplaced."

"Oh I know. You didn't think I would trust just ANYONE with my baby sister's heart did you? And I know damn well I have told you to call me Alex. If we are gonna be family you gotta cut the Agent Danvers stuff out."

"Alexandra it is then." Lena winked at Alex who flipped her off in response.

"Watch it."

Lena smiled as she picked up her bag and texted Kara to come get her in 10 minutes, "good night Alex. And thank you for coming down to review that offer." Alex smiled and started to walk toward the door, shouting behind her, "welcome to the family kid."


	2. A Million Voices Crying Out

A few weeks after Lena had the conversation with Alex, the Danvers sisters were sitting on the couch in Kara and Lena's condo watching movies and eating food that always made Lena beg Kara to eat vegetables the next day. They had both been working far too much in the recent week and the venting and ranting they usually engaged in was at a minimum as both women were so drained, they just wanted to enjoy being happy with each other. Lena had called and said she was stuck at the office trying to finalize some work, leaving out that she was working overtime so in a few weeks when she proposed, she and Kara could celebrate without her having to rush to the office. All that to say, they were enjoying their time together and Alex swore she would stay till Lena got home since the CEO knew Kara had had an exhausting week and she felt guilty leaving her lover alone to rest.

Midway through the second movie Kara fell asleep and while Alex held out longer, she also fell asleep soon after her sister. Alex doesn't know how long they had been asleep for, when she feels pressure on her leg that causes her to open her eyes slightly. She sees Kara with her head in her sister's lap, holding Alex's leg like you would a pillow for comfort. Alex was about to close her eyes again and just make peace with how her back would hurt when they woke up, but something stopped her: she heard her sister whimper. Alex knew from childhood that this was likely just a bad dream and as long as someone soothed Kara she could sometimes sleep through it. Alex gently rubbed her sister's shoulder, careful not to wake her.

"Kara, its ok. It's just you and me here and Lena will be home soon. Just sleep some more ok." Alex was concerned when this did not seem to help her sister and instead caused her to cling to Alex's leg harder and begin to cry in earnest. Alex was now fully awake and while Kara wasn't hurting her, the pressure against her leg was enough to tell Alex that Kara needed to be woken up from this dream, not kept trapped in it.

"Kara, listen to me. You are ok and safe here, but you gotta open your eyes for me and wake up. I'm right here, ok. Kara!" Alex shook her sister's shoulder harder than she normally would. Kara started to stir a little and her arm moved from around Alex's leg but only because the superhero was now holding her arms against herself, almost in a fetal position. This was only made worse for Alex when she could hear Kara talking, but it wasn't normal talking: she was begging, out loud for someone not to leave her. Alex kneeled by the couch and took Kara's hands in her own and squeezed them as hard as she could to bring her sister back to reality. Kara's eyes shot open and she frantically searched around her.

"Alex?" Kara was shaking and seemed more scared than Alex had ever seen, which was saying something.

"I'm right here Kara, its ok. You just had a nightmare, but its ok. You and I are at your place and if you let me call Lena she can get home in like 20 minutes." Alex would've already been calling Lena except Kara now had a vice grip on her sister's hands. The crying continued and Kara shut her eyes the way people do when they want the memory or image in their head to go away. Kara let go of her sister only to bring her hand over her eyes as she continued to cry.

"Hey, Kara. Just listen to my voice. You are safe here and nothing is gonna happen here. But you gotta look at me so we can even out your breathing." Kara sat up all of a sudden and seemed to be gasping for air at the very mention of breathing normally.

"Loud." Kara was grabbing at her ears like she did when they were kids and Alex understood to a point. Alex climbed on the couch again and held out her hand to her sister.

"Kara, I know its loud right now, but let me help. Ok? Can I hug you or is that gonna be worse?" Alex was answered by her sister all but throwing herself onto Alex who took the damn hint and hugged her now sobbing sister. Alex managed to dig her phone out of her pocket with her free hand and she held it up to Kara.

"Kara, I'm gonna call Lena and have her come home ok? I'm just calling Lena." Kara didn't answer her with anything more than a slightly lighter squeeze to allow Alex to move better to make the call. She hit Lena's name in her favorites and hoped the CEO was near her phone and not fussing in the lab where she can't hear or answer it.

"Alex I am so sorry, I know its late, but I am almost done and then I am…" Lena had picked up after a few rings and launched right into an apology, but Alex had to cut her off.

"No, you need to come home now." For the first time since she answered the phone Lena could hear something in the background behind Alex's voice and she knew it was crying and her heart sank.

"What happened? Is she alright?"

"Physically yes, but she was having a dream or a nightmare I guess and it kept getting worse and she was crying. I woke her up and the things that usually help when she has panic attacks aren't working. She keeps saying "it's loud" and tugging at her ears like when we were little and she couldn't control her powers." Alex could hear Lena swearing as she grabbed her things and told security to get her driver out front now.

"Ask her how loud it is." Alex was confused by the request because what did it matter, whatever Kara was hearing could be miles away.

"Lena, it doesn't matter, just please come home as fast as you can."

"I'm getting off the elevator now and I see my car so I will be there in 20 minutes, but I need you to ask her how fucking loud it is Alex. Just trust me on this." Lena didn't usually snap at Alex in a harsh way unless she had to so Alex knew better than to refuse her twice.

"Kara. Lena is on her way home, but she wants to know how loud it is. Can you tell me that?" Kara tried to speak, but her breathing still wouldn't let her. Alex could tell she was trying, "Kara, can you show me, or write it down?" Kara grabbed the remote off the coffee table with shaking hands and turned on the TV and found the folder she was looking for and pointed to the screen right before her crying became a lot more forceful. Alex was understandably confused, but she looked at the screen and asked Lena, "Lena she can't talk very well right now, but she used the remote to open up the movies section on your smart TV."

"What movie?" Lena asked like this made perfect sense so Alex answered her. "Star Wars: A New Hope." Alex heard Lena swear under her breath and alert her driver, "break the speed limit, I will pay for whatever ticket we get."

"Lena what is she talking about?"

"Alex, it is very hard to explain over the phone. I will be home in ten minutes so just please try and keep her as calm as possible and I will explain when I get there." The phone call died and Alex went back to holding Kara, this time running her fingers threw her hair as she cradled her baby sister in her arms. It killed Alex to not know what was wrong, but she knew that this was one of the times that Lena was going to have to help Kara and Alex needed to just be supportive of them both. Alex hummed songs as she held onto her sister and she never felt 10 minutes pass slower in her entire life. Her phoned buzzed that Lena was downstairs and she breathed a small sigh of relief and quietly told Kara.

"Lena is almost home ok Kara. She is downstairs waiting for the elevator so she will be up here in less than a minute ok? Just hang in there a little longer." For the first time Kara responded by nodding her head. Alex couldn't remember feeling more relieved than when Lena came through the front door calling for Kara. Lena unceremoniously dropped her bag, keys and anything she was holding at the door, rushing to the couch. She sat on the opposite side of Kara and Alex helped lift Kara up so she was sitting and when she caught sight of Lena she managed to mumble 'I'm sorry' before tugging at her ears again as the tears kept coming. Lena reached out to Kara and of course the blonde collapsed in her girlfriend's arms. Alex watched as Lena remained as stoic as she could while she solely started to soothe Kara.

"It's ok love, you don't have to be sorry for anything ok? You didn't do anything wrong. It was just a nightmare." Alex had seen panic attacks in her sister before, but this, she had never witnessed before and Lena seemed oddly skilled at handling it. Lena gently picked up Kara's head and laid it with her ear flat against Lena's chest.

"Baby, just listen to my heart beat ok. I know it is loud, but let's even your breathing and then I will help you make it quiet." Lena made eye contact with Alex over Kara's head and the elder Danvers sister looked more helpless than Lena has ever seen her before and she knew how that felt. Lena held out her hand to Alex and when the Agent took it she offered a supportive squeeze before returning her hand to Kara. They stayed like that for a good 10 minutes until Kara could take full breaths, at which point Lena helped her sit up so she could look at her girlfriend. Finally being able to breathe easier allowed Kara to look Lena in the eye and she looked so scared that Lena wasn't sure what to do first to help.

"Sorry."

"No darling, no need to be sorry. You didn't do anything to be sorry for."

"I let them all die Lena, all of them." Lena knew this part of trauma well: I'm scared and upset so I'm showing it as anger.

"Kara, you didn't let anyone die. There was nothing you could've done."

"I could've SAVED them Lena! But I just watched them fucking die. I lived and they ALL died and left me alone! How is that fair? I should've been with them." Lena's heart broke for Kara because she knew that Kara only ever spoke like this when she had flashbacks of home and the day she lost it, but it broke her heart to hear her lover speak about how she could have done more to save her planet and family. Alex wanted so badly to say something to help and get Kara to calm down, but Lena waved her off. Lena instead handed Kara the pillow closest to her knowing what was coming. Kara grabbed it and buried her face into it before letting out the most heartbreaking scream Lena had ever heard and the CEO watched Alex become tearful as they both watched it happen. Lena gently took the pillow out of Kara's hands after she stopped screaming and gently climbed onto her girlfriend's lap, facing her so that they were face to face.

"Darling, look at me please." Kara looked up with some encouragement and Lena gently rested her forehead against Kara's as she gently cupped her hands over her girlfriend's ears. "Just listen to me ok love. You are not alone anymore. You have your sister and Eliza. You have your friends and your work. And my dearest love, you have me and I am not going anywhere, alright? I'm so sorry they died and that you were alone for so long, but you found a home, now you and I have built a home and there will never ever be a time you'll be alone again." Kara looked up and nodded, accepting a quick kiss from Lena.

"Now, tell me what will help you wind down." Kara thought about it and tried to gage what she still needed to feel better.

"Shower please." Lena nodded and after one more kiss she stood up from Kara's lap and pulled the blonde up with her. As they made their way towards the bedroom, Kara stopped and looked at her sister.

"Will you still be here when I get out?" Alex offered her sister a tearful smile, "I am exactly where I need to be Kara. Take your time. I'm not leaving." Kara nodded and left the room with Lena. Lena got the shower going in their bedroom, put Kara's music on through the controls for the high tech shower and pointed toward the door.

"I'm just going to be in the kitchen ok. Just call if you need me, otherwise take your time ok." Kara nodded and offered Lena a kiss before she left the bathroom. Lena left the bedroom door ajar so she could hear when Kara got out of the shower and as she entered the kitchen she found Alex leaning against the counter with her arms crossed, not in anger, but almost like she didn't know what to do when not given a job to do. Lena entered the kitchen and reached for two glasses before grabbing a bottle from their bar and setting the glasses between her and Alex.

"I promised you an explanation once I got home and since she is finally calm, or at least as calm as I can make her while she is conscious, I suppose you'd like that explanation now." Lena filled her and Alex's glasses with whiskey and didn't bother paying attention to how much she poured.

"Yes, I'd like it now. First question: what the hell did I just witness?" Lena eyed Alex carefully, almost to warn the agent to watch herself. She gestured toward the drink she poured for Alex, "you're going to want to start drinking that now if you want a full answer. And watch the tone, I know you are scared, so am I, but I am not the enemy here."

Alex took her glass and after drinking half of it in one gulp she looked at Lena, "I'm sorry. I just have never seen her like that before. I've seen panic attacks and anxiety attacks, but she hasn't done the ear thing since…I don't know the first year she got here."

"It wasn't a panic attack per say, more of a flashback that likely triggered some other PTSD symptoms and with her past her brain just goes down the list of symptoms and makes sure she experiences them all. For you or I, that type of experience would be the closest thing to a mental breakdown we can have without losing touch with reality. It's why none of the things that usually help seemed to have any effect this time." Lena sipped her drink and seemed lost in thought as she waited for follow up questions from Alex. For her role in this, Alex had finished her drink and was pouring more into her glass.

"So this has happened before?" Lena nodded.

"It has, though each time has been different in terms of severity. Once it happened and she couldn't stand having me touch her so I literally got on the floor and mirrored her so she could see me without having me touch her. Another time she needed so much grounding I had to do a sort of kangaroo hold so she could feel skin on skin. This particular combination of symptoms is one of the worst she's had, which is…terrifying." Lena couldn't stop the stray tears that escaped and Alex saw the same fear she felt written across Lena's face. Alex threw back the rest of her drink and stood in front of the CEO.

"Would it be ok to offer you a hug right now?" Lena nodded her head and fell against Alex's shoulder and softly cried. After both women felt a little better Alex backed away and returned to her drink, again refilling it.

"So the flashback, it's of watching her home get destroyed I assuming from what she said about them dying and leaving her alone."

"Yes. Even though it has happened several times before, it doesn't happen often. Although it is usually after you all have been busier than usual at the DEO. I think when she is exhausted physically and emotionally after working too hard as Supergirl, Kara is the one who pays the price with this. After being able to save some many people her very human brain can only focus on the people she wasn't able to save." Alex nodded because that made sense psychologically, and seemed to match up to their current pattern of work over the last few weeks.

"And what she said when she started yelling, what the hell was that? She has never talked like that before." Lena looked at Alex and seemed to be choosing her words carefully.

"Alex, you might not like the answer to that question."

"I'm a big girl Lurthor, just tell me." Lena knew better than to argue, but also knew that Alex would likely become more upset.

"She very rarely speaks like that. But with this flashback or nightmare, whatever it truly is, all she remembers is watching everything she ever knew and everyone she ever loved, disappear right before her eyes and she was powerless to stop it. For her, or for her brain anyway: if her family's destiny was to die, then it was her destiny to die with them as a family. And yet, here she is. She and Clark survived and she was sent to world that doesn't like things it cannot explain and it sure as hell doesn't like anyone who is different. It's survivors guilt amplified." Lena poured more alcohol for herself as she let Alex try to take in what she said.

"So…wait…are you saying she gets suicidal when she has this dream? And it's happened before? Why the fuck didn't you call me the first time she talked like that?" Alex got more in Lena's face than was warranted and Lena responded in kind as she pushed Alex away from her, not hard, but enough to get the agent to back off. Having had several glasses of some of Lena's finer liquor, the agent was in no shape to fight back and she was honestly surprised Lena's pushed her at all, but Alex also knew she had hit a nerve.

"Because when she calmed down and I reached for the phone to call you she freaked out Alex. She didn't want you to worry more than you already do. She didn't want to be paraded around for her friends and family to feel sorry for. I handled it! I got her help! I figured things out with her! I fucking handled this storm so that you didn't go to sleep at night thinking that you might lose her, not to an alien, but to her own fucking brain. I handled this because you are NOT the only person who loves her. I would have lost her too, so just fucking remember that." Lena was shaking from the mix of emotions, adrenaline and alcohol and Alex never felt so damn guilty than she did watching Lena fire back at her. Lena buried her head in her hands and stifled a frustrated cry before looking back at Alex.

"I won't lose her Alex. I promised you I'd protect her and I will. She is the only person who EVER loved me as I am without an agenda. I would do absolutely anything to protect that. If I thought she was going to hurt herself truly I would fucking call you, you know that, but I had to show her that I love her enough to not turn and run at the first sign of hardship. I had to show her that we could find a way to survive this together. And that is what I did." Alex nodded, knowing that saying I am sorry right now would not be smart instead she remembered one other detail.

"That is why you asked me to ask Kara how loud they were." Lena nodded, "you've seen her panic attacks where she struggles for words and breath. This way I know how intense the hearing is, I know if it is safe to touch her, I know if I am out of my depth and to call for help etc." Alex thought it was an oddly brilliant way of communicating Kara's needs when she wasn't able to talk normally. She pointed to the other room where the TV was still set to play the Star Wars movie.

"So what does Star Wars mean? Why when she said that did you make your driver get you home double time?"

"You are familiar with the movies I trust?" Alex nodded so Lena continued. "In A New Hope, the scene just after Darth Vader blows up Alderaan, you see Obi-Wan Kenobi fall back and look pained and overwhelmed. When Luke Skywalker asks him what is wrong, do you remember what he says to him?" Alex had watched the moves a few times each, but couldn't remember the line.

"He says, 'It is as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.' That is what Kara essentially heard that day Krypton was destroyed, she heard all those voices cry out and then in the next second she heard absolute dead silence and I don't which was more painful. Usually being able to control the noise level she hears helps her come out of it. That's why she is listening to music in the shower. She gets to pick the noise she hears, how loud, if there are words or not. She is in control and that helps her get her balance of her powers back after these episodes." Alex was glad that at least Kara and Lena figured out how to help Kara get her equilibrium back. Alex knew Lena was less angry than she had been a few moments before so she took the chance to say what she should have said earlier.

"I'm sorry. For what I said and for yelling at you. I trust you with Kara, and I hope you know that, but…I don't care that she and I are both adults now and that she has super powers, to me she is always the kid sister I have to protect and I am bad at turning that off. But I shouldn't have taken that out on the other person who wants to love her and keep her safe and happy."

Lena smiled and nodded in her stoic manner, "apology accepted and I appreciate your honesty. Again, I know this is scary, but this is not an impossible thing Alex. This is just a matter of us learning how she needs to heal and it might be a lifelong thing. And that is ok by me. Even though I don't want her suffer her whole life, as long as she lets me help her, I'm not going anywhere."

"Good. Neither am I, so I guess we're stuck with each other." Lena smiled and nodded. "I do believe that is how families work. Or so Kara tells me." They are interrupted with another voice entering the conversation.

"What have I told you? Was it something smart? I bet it was." Kara emerges from the bedroom in sleep shorts and a t-shirt of Lena's. Her hair is wet and is hanging down around her shoulders as she walks over to Lena and holds her against her from behind.

"You always tell me smart things, except after you watch the most recent documentary on finding bigfoot."

"Lena I am an alien, I can't deny the possibility that he exists." Lena turned around in Kara's arms and was smirking as though her girlfriend had made her point of her. Lena gently put her hands on the sides of Kara's head. "How are you feeling love?" Kara smiled briefly.

"I'm ok now. The shower helped to help me even out after you came home." Lena nodded and agreed that Kara certainly seemed to be doing better.

"How's the noise now? Still Star Wars?"

"No more Star Wars. Its back to what it normally is for me." Lena offered the superhero and quick kiss, "good, now we actually watch A New Hope when we got to bed and it can be fun for you."

"You just want to watch Carrie Fisher save the day and then rant at the end of the movie that the boys get rewarded for basically not doing much."

"Kara, she gives them medals and she was braver than either of them. It is just science. And Carrie Fisher, may she rest forever in Rao's light, deserved a better hairdo." Kara smiled genuinely and this made Alex feel better as she watched her sister slip back into regular conversations, albeit nerdy ones, with her girlfriend.

"It is such a turn on when you get worked up over nerdy things." Kara would've been bolder in that moment if Alex hadn't cleared her throat. Kara blushed when she looked at her sister. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said the last bit out loud."

"Hey, you can be nerdy and horny with each other some other night when I am not sleeping in your guest room. I have had a lot to drink while you showered and I am exhausted so I assume its ok that I crash here." Kara moved away from Lena and went over to her sister and hugged her.

"You can always stay here, you know that." Kara pulled away and looked guilty, "Alex I'm…"

"If sorry is the next word out of your mouth, please don't say it. These kind of things aren't something we get to control Kara. I just wish I had known what to do to help, but I think maybe this is something that Lena is gonna have to be point person on. You two seem to have a system in place and you feeling safe and loved is all I care about. But you know you can tell me anything right?" Kara looked over at Lena and guessed at what they had been arguing about while she was in the shower. She didn't hear details because she was trying not to, but she could guess.

"I'm sorry love, but she had to know." Kara wasn't mad, just embarrassed and Alex caught that too. "Hey, its ok Kara. Everyone needs to be held up sometimes, even superheroes. Just promise me you will let yourself be held up when you need it."

"I promise." Alex hugged her sister tighter than normal before she let go, "good, then go watch your movie with your girl and please keep your hands to yourselves till I leave in the morning." Alex walked towards the guest room, knowing that her sister was in good hands for the remainder of the evening. Lena leaned over and kissed Kara's cheek as she put the glasses in the sink.

"Alex has the right idea. We should get some rest, you especially. Sleep always helps when this happens." Kara nodded as she followed Lena back to their bedroom and she climbed directly into bed while Lena got undressed from work and into her Pj's. When she did join Kara the blonde snuggled into her body and just seemed to want to stay there.

"I love you and I'm sorry if I scared you." Lena let Kara snuggle into her as much as she wanted and she soaked in that warmth and kissed the top of her head.

"I love you so much and it was scary when Alex called, but you let me help you and at the end of the day, that is all that matters Kara. That you let the people who love you help you. You taught me that also."

"I am so smart Lena." Kara yawned at the end of the sentence and Lean smiled as she dimmed the lights in the room. "You are the smartest lover I have." Kara mumbled an insult as she fell asleep and it made Lena smile as she did the same.


	3. Always Bounce Back

**Some mention of past suicidal thoughts/actions. Mostly Lena and Alex friendship. **

The weekend after Thanksgiving, Kara had convinced Lena to set up their tree so they could enjoy it as long as possible: something that Eliza assured Lena had been a part of Kara's personality ever since her first Christmas with them. That Sunday however, Kara had been asked to go over some routine trainings with new agents at the DEO, essentially teaching them how to work in conjunction with the superhero. Kara tried to get out of the training as many times as Alex could stand her begging, until Kara finally offered an alternative.

"Fine I will stay and babysit the new agents, but you have to go stay with Lena till I get home."

"What, no. I guarantee you she is just doing paperwork or working on a project and I would just be in her way. Besides Kara, I have my own girlfriend I could be spending time with, I think yours's can survive on her own for the day."

"But she shouldn't have to!" Kara's voice boomed in Alex's lab and the older Danvers sister was taken aback. Kara never snapped like this unless she had a damn fine reason for it. Alex saw honest fear in her sister's eyes and had no clue what in the hell she was about to agree to, but she knew this was something that had to be done or Kara would simply leave the agency and they really did need her.

"Ok, Kara, ok. I'll go check in on her."

"Alex, please, I will give you whatever you want, just please stay there till I am done here. Please." Now Alex, knew for certain something was wrong because Kara never begged for anything, she asked for things sure, but her pride kept her from ever truly begging. Alex nodded and they were interrupted by Kara being called for and with a quick hug and kiss on her sister's cheek Kara was gone and Alex was left to go home and wonder what the hell she had just been tasked with. Alex arrived at the condo maybe 30 minutes later. She strolled into the lobby and was greeted by the security guard manning the front desk.

"Afternoon Dr. Danvers."

"Hey Jimmy, how was your holiday?"

"Pretty good. I got to spend the day with my wife and our girls who are visiting from college. I trust you all had a good holiday."

"We did, now we're just setting up for Christmas."

"Never a dull moment at the end of the year. Well, it looks like Ms. Luthor and your sister cleared you for independent entry today so go ahead on up." Alex made a face at that. She had been on the security list at Lena and Kara's building since before they moved in together, so telling her she had clearance again was odd.

"Jimmy I thought I was already on the security list."

"Oh, yes ma'am, But every year since Ms. Lurthor has lived in that condo she blocked out a block of days right after Thanksgiving where almost no one was allowed up. Your sister was the first person to get added to that list, honestly, come to think of it, you are the second. She must really trust you."

"Any idea why the security block?" Jimmy shook his head. "No ma'am and it's not really my business to ask, but I know it is a hard couple of days for her, but she always bounces back."

Alex smiled, "she is good at that. Thanks Jimmy." Alex rode up to the penthouse in silence and even though she had a key to get in she knocked before using it. Alex walked in the front door and was rather surprised to find that the normally well-lit home was, well, dark. There were lamps on here and there, but the shades were all drawn, only allowing for minimal light to come in through the windows.

"Lena, it's Alex. Kara had to do a training with the newbies and she asked me to come make sure you didn't break your neck getting Christmas decorations out." Alex dropped her bag and keys by the door and heard some music coming from Lena's home office so she called out again.

"Lena, you home?"

"I'm in the office Alex." Alex turned the corner and found the CEO in her office filing something away and tidying her desk. She looked up at the agent and offered a brief smile before she finished cleaning up her office.

"I heard you say something about Kara training some fledgling agents. I assume that means she will be home later than she intended."

"It depends, they all need to learn how to work around Supergirl and when to work as a solid team. I told Kara that if they were truly not getting it to send them all home by 4pm. So, she'll be home for dinner, but she said she didn't trust you not to break the Christmas decorations. So she sent me as Bravo team." Lena grabbed her laptop and pointed toward the door.

"Well they are in the storage closet so we can help ourselves, if in fact that is what Kara actually sent you here for." The CEO marched past Alex with all the swagger she had when she wear power suits, even though she was wearing a hoodie of Kara's and leggings. Alex followed Lena to the closet that the couple keeps their decorations for various occasions in and after Lena put her computer down on the kitchen counter she joined Alex inside the closet which was large enough to be used like a walk in closet.

"So Christmas décor is on those 4 shelves and the lights are all in the box on the top shelf just to keep them from being broken. So we should be able to do this without much fuss and without any major breaks." Lena grabbed one box and handed it to Alex and soon grabbed another one herself and led the elder woman from the living room where they set the boxes down near the tree. They did this once more with Alex grabbing the box of lights as well so that all the decorations where accessible to the couple as they decorated.

"I promised Kara I wouldn't decorate without her so that is literally as much help I could possibly need in terms of the decorations." Lena usually wasn't one to mix words or not be up front with what she wants, but Alex got the feelings she was waiting for Alex to take the hint and just leave on her own accord. While normally Alex was all about giving Lena her space, Kara's behavior and everything else about today had caused her to be concerned.

"Look Lena, I can feel that you want me to leave you alone and I will if that is what you truly want, but I don't think it is." Lena crossed her arms in front of her chest almost protectively and Alex knew she had likely hit a nerve.

"And what is it do you think I do want Alex?"

"I think you want to ask somebody for help, while at the same time pulling out the stops to push people away."

"I don't need help Alex."

"No, maybe not help, but comfort, definitely. And I know deep down you want Kara, but I have been known to be a mostly caring person in moments of distress. So, I don't know what is actually going on with you today, but I'm not going anywhere unless you make me. And even then, I will likely just stand outside your door till Kara gets home."

"She told you to stay with me until she got home didn't she. And I am guessing it had nothing to do with the Christmas boxes that I clearly could've done on my own."

"She may have offered me a bribe to stay with you until she got home." Lena smiled slightly at this.

"What did she offer you? I am slightly curious as to what the price was she might be asked to pay for this personal security detail."

"She just offered whatever I wanted as long as I promised to stay." Lena looked a little sad at how desperate Kara must have felt if she offered Alex carte blanche whatever she wanted in return for this favor. Lena seemed to weigh her options and finally gestured for Alex to follow her. The retreated back to Lena's office and the CEO took her seat behind the large wooden desk.

"Make yourself comfortable." Alex sat down in one of the chairs opposite the desk and tried to relax as much as she could so Lena didn't feel like she had to hold back if she wanted to talk. Lena opened the small file cabinet built into the desk and placed a singular envelope on the desk before turning to Alex.

"Before I spill my guts to you, I am giving you one last chance to back out and we just go watch TV until Kara gets home." Alex locked eyes with her would be sister in law. "I don't scare easy Lena, if you are ready to talk about this, I am here to listen."

Lena nodded and pushed the envelope toward Alex, "just remember Agent Danvers, you can't un-ring the bell." Alex ignored the title because she knew Lena spoke like that when she was upset or was trying to keep people at arm's length. Alex flipped open the folder and saw some forms from a hospital, all labeled Jane Doe, a few pages of documented injuries and Alex knew from her medical training that those injuries were self-inflicted. Alex looked to Lena for an explanation.

"Young female, early 20's, lacerations to both arms, loss of consciousness due to blood loss. Brought into the ER and after a transfusion and the injuries stitched together regained consciousness. Spent mandatory 72 hour hold in the hospital before being released with the insistence of staff to see an outside therapist." Alex flipped through the file and nodded as Lena spoke, knowing damn well where this was heading, but giving Lena the space to say her peace. When the younger woman seemed to be waiting for Alex's response, the agent closed the file and slid it back towards Lena.

"And did she? Get a therapist outside the hospital that is." Lena nodded. Alex pressed her lips together tightly as she nodded. "So, I'm guessing, for this Jane Doe, that this time of year is difficult as it holds memories of a particularly threatening suicide attempt." Lena looked away from Alex and seemed to be looking down at her hands and Alex gently continued.

"And it would of course, stand to reason, that this woman would turn to her partner, spouse and family during this time of year to distract her from those memories and remind her that she has support and love now that she did not have perhaps the year she tried to end her life." Lena looked at Alex with tears in her eyes, but not yet crying.

"Yes, that would be a very smart thing for her to do. She doesn't like bothering people with it though." Alex wanted to scream at Lena how much she and Kara are alike with their insistence to fall on their own sword to spare other people a moderate inconvenience.

"Well, if this woman were to share this information with her, let's just say soon to be sister in law, maybe that insanely smart sister in law would tell her that this is the kind of thing families are here to offer support over. Maybe she would her that needing extra love or support sometimes doesn't make us weak. And maybe she would remind this young lady that her cell phone is always fucking on and that she can be reached for additional support at any time." Lena still avoided eye contact with Alex and Alex couldn't let that continue.

"Lena. Look at me please." The younger woman looked up and once she locked eyes with Alex a few stray tears slipped down her face. Alex stood up and went around the desk, kneeling in front of the CEO.

"Hey, its ok. Just listen to me. Everybody has a past Lena and we all struggle with different stuff and this just happens to be your past and your struggle. It is ok to want some extra support around this time of year. It is ok to need help Lena, we all do at some point."

"I'm ok." Lena tried her best to summon her business voice, but her voice trembled when she tried and Alex gripped her hand a bit tighter.

"If you are trying to tell me that you don't have those thoughts anymore, then that is wonderful. But that doesn't mean you are ok. You have every shade drawn so it is dark as hell in your house, you stayed home from work today I can tell, your security guard said you normally don't allow visitors at this time of year and you are wearing Kara's hoodie which I have only ever see you do when you miss her or need to feel comforted." Lean brushed stray tears away and tried to collect herself.

"I'm sorry you drew the short stick this year Alex, last year Kara had the day off and no Supergirl emergencies so it was easier. It really isn't that big of a deal." Alex shook her head, "I didn't draw a short straw Lena, ok. We are about to be family by law and even if we weren't, this is what people who love each other do. They support each other when things are hard. They fucking fight for each other. And I am sorry Kara is not here, but I am and I am not afraid of anything in that file or any part of the woman sitting in front of me." Lena was always unsure on how to handle people getting close to things that made her feel scared or vulnerable and even though she knew Alex loved her very much, this secret was well guarded in her mind and letting another person in freaked her out. She rolled up her sleeves and held out her arms to Alex. The scars she had were faint and Lena usually used a mix of creams and make up to hide them when she had bare arms and in normal lighting they weren't anything Alex had paid much attention to.

"What about these, do these scare you?" Alex looked at Lena and shook her head, "no Lena, they don't scare me. They make me sad that you ever felt that way, but I'm not scared of any part of this. But it is ok if it still scares you that you were ever in a dark enough place that you felt like this was the answer."

"I don't think that way anymore. Don't worry. I'd never do that to Kara." Alex smiled as she stood up and she offered Lena her hand and pulled her from her chair. "I'm glad you don't feel that way anymore. But this is about more than not putting Kara through something. You deserve some peace in your life Lena, you don't deserve this." Lena nodded since it was the only thing she could manage to do in that moment. Alex knew that for now this would have to be enough.

"Come on. Let's go order food, cuz I am starving, I bet you haven't eaten and Kara will be hungry once she gets home." Lena started to follow Alex out of the room when the agent turned around. "One more thing." Alex wrapped Lena is a gentle hug that had a firm squeeze at the end of it.

"If you ever feel like that again, fucking call me. PLEASE. Tell Kara, tell me, hell call my mom and tell her, but don't bottle it up Lena. Because I would 100% rather listen to you and help you feel safe at 2am than I would rather hold Kara upright at your funeral. Don't make me do that. Please. Just call me and I will stay up all night if it makes you feel safe. Just…please, call me." Lena pulled away from the hug and nodded.

"It was a long time ago Alex, I really haven't had those thoughts in years."

"Good. Then call this a back-up plan." Lena agreed and followed Alex into the kitchen where they ordered food for the night.

Kara arrived home a few hours later to find her sister and girlfriend still in the kitchen chatting. She went over to Lena and after offering her a kiss, wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her close to her own body, a move Lena always enjoyed because it made her feel protected.

"I see you two ate without me. Rude."

"Don't worry love, we saved plenty of food for you. As a reward for not killing any of the rookie agents at training."

"Well the night is young." Kara smiled and looked over at Alex. "Did my big sister behave herself today or did she tell you scandalous lies about my childhood?"

"Hey, it is not my fault that mom hauled out the teenage years photo album the first Christmas Lena spent with us."

"Sure, blame Eliza." Kara nuzzled Lena's neck and pulled away just slightly to look at her. "You feeling alright?"

"I'm ok. Alex took very good care of me in your absence." Kara nodded and shot Alex a look of sincere gratitude.

"Well, I am going to shower and change and since it would appear my favorite hoodie is occupied, I guess I'll just wear a regular shirt like some common being." Kara kissed the side of Lena's cheek as she walked out of the room, "love you."

"Love you too." Lena smiled to herself as Kara slipped into the bedroom and Alex smiled at the small gesture and silently hoped that as the years wore on Lena's memory of this time of year was replaced with one of her family loving her instead of being consumed by her loneliness.


	4. We Are In Such Trouble

Most couples don't spend too much time thinking about the likelihood that they might die before they reach advanced age. That being said, Kara Danvers and Lena Luthor were not most couples. Power couple doesn't begin to cover it with one half of the couple being a literal superhero and the other half being a powerful business woman, scientist and all that remained of a once powerful family best known for their thirst for power. Between the attempts made on Lena's life due to her being a Luthor and the injuries that Kara sustained during her Supergirl work, the couple was familiar with the ever present threat of them getting seriously hurt and potentially dying. That didn't make it any easier for them of course. Lena feared the Kara would forget that while she is bulletproof, she is not immortal and Kara feared the Lena would forget that she had a family now that would absolutely care if she was hurt and killed. Usually, when Kara was injured, Lena was called to the DEO where she would be tended to with a combo of sunlamps and any modern science needed to save her, but today the tables had turned.

Kara had been handling a lower level alien situation and by the time she was back at the DEO she was met with a serious looking Alex. Kara was ready for a lecture about over working herself or something like that and she held her hands up in defense the second she was in front of her sister.

"I promise I will go sit on the sunlamp bed for a while before I go home. I'm sorry." Alex caught her sister's arm before she could walk away.

"You aren't going to the sun bed. We are going to the hospital." Alex gently pulled on Kara's arm and she followed her sister, but did not understand. "Alex why, I'm not injured."

"We aren't going to the hospital for you Kara. And you are gonna want to change." Alex hit the button for the elevator and tried not to make eye contact with her sister and Kara knew something was up.

"Alex. Why do we need to go to a real hospital if not for me?" Alex pushed her sister into the elevator and hit the button before she answered. "Because that is where Lena is. She was in a car accident and the hospital called your phone while you were out. And before you panic she is alive and was wearing a seatbelt in the town car so she is going to be fine." Kara was stunned as Alex rapid fire answered her questions.

"And please don't take off flying because you need to walk in there as Kara Danvers not Supergirl and I know if you take of flying you will forget to change and that is dangerous for you and Lena." The elevator dinged as they reached the ground floor and Alex took advantage of Kara being surprised as she dragged her to the car and quickly told the agent driving to step on it. As the car started moving, Kara finally snapped back into reality and began to change out of her suit while grilling Alex.

"Did they say what happened? Was it a deliberate crash?"

"The nurse said they took the other driver into custody because they were clearly on something. This wasn't an attack on her life Kara, it was just bad timing, not because she is a Luthor."

"But she is gonna be ok right?" Alex felt bad for her sister, because usually, when Lena was in danger, Kara had the distinct advantage of saving her and knowing she is safe. Today Kara had to trust other people to keep Lena safe and Alex knew that inside that killed her sister.

"The nurse said the so far everything they ran in terms of tests were clear and aside from a broken right arm and a small bump on her head from the air bag she is fine. No surgery needed, just some pain meds and rest for a few weeks." Kara had follow up questions, but thankfully they had just pulled up to the hospital and she and Alex bailed out of the SUV quickly and Alex had to run after her sister, who even at human level running was a challenge to keep up with when she was worried. Kara reached the nurses desk and frantically started asking for Lena Luthor. The nurse sitting behind the desk looked up at the frantic woman and didn't seem phased by the fearful family member.

"That must make you her wife. She has been asking for you since they brought her in." Kara was about to correct the woman, but never got the chance.

"She is in observation 4. They just gave her some pain meds so she might be a bit loopy or tired, but once they confirm her other tests are clear you are free to take her home." The nurse got called away, leaving Kara and Alex to look at each other and shrug shoulders before heading to where Lena was being treated. When they stepped into the small room off the nursing station, Kara rushed to the side of the bed and gently laid her hand on Lena's shoulder.

"Lena. Honey wake up, its me." Lena slowly turned to her head toward Kara, following the sound of her voice before she opened her eyes. Kara could tell instantly that they had given Lena some powerful drugs as her girlfriend had the glazed over look in her eyes she only has when she has been drunk. Lena smiled and seemed very proud of herself.

"I told the nurse that you'd come pick me up and save me." Kara smirked a little at the drowsy tone Lena had to her voice: it would have been cute if not for the circumstances they were in.

"There are easier ways to get my attention you know. You didn't have to go get in an accident." Kara offered Lena a gentle kiss, careful not to touch the part of Lena's face and forehead that had some bruising and injuries from the airbag.

"I didn't mean to scare you. I honestly didn't think anything was that bad until I tried to move my arm. Is my driver alright?" Kara looked over to Alex who nodded with a thumbs up.

"Alex talked with the authorities and they said he is fine. I'm sure we can call later and check on him, but right now I am far far more concerned with you. How's your pain?" Lena shifted slightly in the bed and winced, but was able to reposition herself.

"Not great, but they gave me pain meds after they wrapped the cast, said it might take a few minutes. Don't worry, I'll live. You aren't getting rid of me so easy." Lena used her uninjured hand to trace Kara face.

"Good, I wouldn't want to become a widow before we even get engaged." Lena looked confused, but was too drugged to connect the dots. Kara nodded toward the door, "the nurse said when you came in you were asking them to call your wife and telling them I would come get you."

Lena wanted to kick herself for letting the title slip, but her body was finally starting to respond to the medicine she had been given and everything felt pretty great. "Well I was right, you did come get me."

Kara smiled and kissed the inside of Lena's wrist that still seemed to be tracing her face. "I will always come get you, but there is the small matter that I am not your wife Lena. Not yet anyway." Kara meant it as a half-hearted joke. She didn't mean for Lena to pause in thought and then look Kara dead in the eye, "that's true, we should fix that." Alex stood in the door way, unsure what to do, because watching this was both funny and touching. Kara tried to act calm and tell herself that Lena was drugged and had no filter or control over what she was saying.

"And we will fix it one day soon, I promise, but how about for now we get you packed up and we go home?" Kara began to pull away and Lena reached out and gently grabbed her hand.

"Screw one day soon, marry me." Kara and Alex both immediately responded with a wide open mouth, neither believing what they just heard. Kara collected herself best she could again telling herself that Lena would likely have proposed to the closest hospital staff member in the state she was in.

"Lena, I love you more than anyone, but baby, you are on so many drugs right now." Lena pulled gently on Kara's hand to pull her closer to the bed.

"I could be on every pain killer known to modern science and none of them would ever change my mind about asking you to marry me. I didn't say it because I am high, I said it because I said my wife was coming to get me and I'll be damned if I don't at least leave this hospital with you as my fiancé. Also, I don't want a life without you in it anymore, so forget the drugs I am on and answer my question. Will you marry me?" Kara now knew that Lena was anything but kidding and that this was in fact an honest proposal. She gently took Lena head in her hands, again mindful of the injuries and with tears in her eyes, a stupid grin plastered across her face and a shaky voice that betrayed her emotions she answered, "My love for you is a puzzle for which I have no answers. I can't control it and now I don't care. I truly deeply love you." Lena smiled wide and ignored her facial injuries and pulled Kara in to kiss her, leaving Alex to be thoroughly confused in the corner.

"I'm sorry, did you just propose to my baby sister in the ER of a hospital and Kara was that even an answer?" Kara pulled away from Lena and they both smiled and Lena looked over to Alex, "I did and her answer was more than appropriate as it was a line from Star Wars." Alex rolled her eyes and laughed, "of course it was. Damn it Kara, most people on this planet are happy just saying yes to that question. You two nerds deserve each other." Alex's loving sarcasm made Kara beam as she looked at her sister.

"Does that mean we have your blessing?" Kara meant it as a joke, but Alex smiled and nodded, "you've had my blessing for months, ever since this one asked me for it after she bought the ring." Kara was shocked at her sister's words and looked fast to Lena, "you asked Alex if you could marry me?"

"I asked for her blessing, not her permission. I know our world is sort of weird in its customs, but I figured you'd appreciate me asking the person you trust and love most for their blessing to ask you to marry me. I am nothing if not a gentleman." Lena laughed harder at her own joke than she normally would have due to the meds and Kara had to laugh too. They were interrupted by a nurse coming in with discharge papers and orders for medications for Lena to take home with her. Kara made quick work of the forms, leaving Alex to go call the other agent to bring around the car to take them all home. When Alex told them the car was waiting out front, Kara helped Lena get up and find her footing, but then she quickly and effortlessly picked Lena up bridal style and headed toward the door.

"You know they probably want me to leave in a wheelchair right?"

"You told them your wife was coming to pick you up and I believe I just did exactly that. Besides, what kind of wife would I be if I didn't carry my bride to the car." Alex followed behind them and balanced her joy for her sister with some healthy sarcasm, "you guys just got engaged and you are already this grossly cute about it? God, we are in such trouble."


	5. Making Good On An Offer

**Slightly heavy topic that touches on Lena's self-harm past because sometimes I write this story when I am in a bad spot and this helps. If self-harm stuff is triggering for you please be careful, the cutting itself is a very small part of things, but tis there. **

Lena had watched the footage most of the day which of course meant she got no work done. It couldn't be helped though: Supergirl was engaged in a fairly intense fight just outside downtown and this other alien just would not stay down when Kara had bested them. This resulted in hours of fighting and Lena feared Kara over doing things and having her powers flare at the end of this fight and leave her fiancé defenseless when all was quiet. Eventually, Lena saw the other alien go down for good and once the cameras cut to their reporters she texted Kara. She got a response maybe 15 minutes later with Kara telling her she was physically fine, but that Alex had demanded her come to the DEO to be looked over. Lena normally would've taken Kara's side and said she was an adult who could come home if she wanted to, but today she was sort of ok with Alex playing the all-important Big Sister card to get Kara to be looked over. Kara told Lena that Alex was sending a car for her because and she quoted Alex 'I'm sure Luthor is worried I got my medical degree out of a cereal box'. Lena rolled her eyes at Alex's little joke and she quickly bid her assistant goodbye for the night and left to meet her car downstairs.

Once at the DEO, Lena was directed to the med bay where Alex was by then finishing checking Kara over. Lena was waved in by Alex once she finished marking things down and Lena fussed over Kara who had a few scraps and bumps, but nothing that she hadn't seen far worse of before.

"See I told you I was fine." Kara tried to be cute as Lena held her head in her hands and examined the cuts on her forehead, chin and cheek closely.

"Oh, you think this is funny do you? Because your powers have never crapped out on you after a fight before. You fought that alien for over 4 hours Kara, I know because I timed it. I know because it was televised." Kara felt bad instantly at trying to make light of a situation that she and Lena knew could have ended differently.

"Lena I'm sorry. But I swear I didn't overdo it until the very end and it was only because I knew I had him." Lena nodded and held Kara's hand a little tighter as she looked at Alex. "Are you sure her powers didn't flare or do something else terrible?" Alex pulled up her data on her tablet and showed Lena and Kara.

"Best we can tell her powers are fine, but you have a valid point. This was the longest sustained fighting Kara ever has done, at least alone and there is almost no possible way to test for how fatiguing her powers might play a role. I would rather she stay here tonight, in the sun bed and that way if anything happens the medical team is here, I'm here and we can address it right away. If it were earlier in the day I would just send her home and tell her to sit on the balcony for a few hours, but it's getting late so not much sunlight left. It is up to you guys though." Alex stepped back from the couple and pretended to be doing other things on her tablet, leaving Kara and Lena to talk.

"You want me to stay, don't you?" Kara looked at Lena and while Lena wanted to put her foot down and make Kara stay, she knew this had to be Kara's decision.

"I want you to be safe and protected love. What if we got home and your powers gave out there and we didn't know it. So yes, I think staying here for the night is best, but this has to be your decision." Kara always appreciated that about Lena: she knew that as Supergirl a lot of decisions were made for her by the DEO or Alex so at home Lena made sure that their relationship was that of equals and that meant having autonomy.

"I'll stay the night. But only cuz I can sleep in the sun bed and recover faster which means coming home sooner." Lena smiled and offered Kara a brief kiss before Alex came back over. "Great, I'll have the bed set up for you and in the morning we will run through a strength test of your powers and make sure everything is at the level they normally are. That's the only way I can think to test them." Kara nodded and she and Lena followed Alex to the room Alex always put on standby when Kara is called into work. She turned the sun bed on and turned to Lena.

"Should I have someone blow up the air mattress so you can stay?" Lena looked at Kara who seemed suddenly sleepy as she changed and got settled on the bed. Lena shook her head, "she'll wake up more if I am here just to make sure I am ok. I want her to get some real rest so whatever readings you get on her powers in the morning will be accurate."

"If you are sure.' Lena nodded her confirmation. "Ok, then I will have an agent drive you home." Alex went to arrange Lena a ride home and Lena went over to Kara.

"You staying here or going home?" Lena smiled at Kara and offered her a quick kiss, "I think I should head home. If I stay, you will climb into bed with me or I'll stay awake and do the same to you. This way we hopefully both get some sleep and I will come get you first thing and you can take me to breakfast." Kara pulled Lena closer to her, "oh I can, can I? Gosh that is so nice of me."

"You know most people can contain their horny teenage hormones long enough not to make out in a government building." Lena smirked at Alex, "you clearly don't read the news Agent Danvers." Lena offered Kara one more longer kiss and then kissed her forehead, "please get some sleep and I will see you in the morning." Alex walked Lena out to the front desk area of the DEO and made sure the younger woman made it safely in the car.

"I'll likely just crash here in my office so if you want an update on Kara just holler. Otherwise I trust you'll be here early, demanding my sister's release."

"Your sister owes me breakfast Alex, I'll be here plenty early." Lena bid her soon to be sister in law good night and Alex tapped the top of the SUV that was taking Lena home, giving the agent driving the all clear to take off on the road. Lena was dropped off at home and after checking in with her security team downstairs she bid them goodnight and retreated to the penthouse. She still felt on edge, but she told herself it was just her adrenaline that had not come done completely. She quickly changed into her sleep clothes, stealing one of Kara's shirts to sleep in for the night. After doing a few little things before bed, Lena crawled into bed and instantly hated how it felt to be sleeping alone after so long having Kara with her while they slept. Her discomfort and fear of what had happened today eventually were overpowered by her deep exhaustion and Lena feel asleep.

Normally Lena enjoyed very few bad dreams or nightmares when she was this level of tired, but tonight things were not as they always were. Lena also failed to take into consideration that Kara usually woke her from bad dream before they got to be too much to handle and with no Kara, there was no one to wake her before the bad dreams morphed into nightmares. Just a little after midnight however, Lena was finally shaken out of her sleep by a hyper realistic nightmare that caused her to sit upright gasping for air. Lena all but fell out of bed as she took in as much air as she could. She made her way into the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face and let it drip off her face, back into the sink. Lena didn't realize she was shaking until she realized she was gripping the sink with her dominant hand and she still felt unsteady.

Lena could not remember details of her nightmare which to her made it that much worse. In her fear and anxiety Lena didn't know what to do to calm down and before she could try and stop herself with some more rational thinking she grabbed the small mirror she used to put on make-up and hit it against the counter of the sink which had been long ago reinforced so it would not crack under Kara's touch. The small mirror broke and Lena grabbed one piece of the glass. In her head, Lena knew that this would solve nothing but at the same time Lena wanted to be calm and get out of the head space she was currently in and this was the only way she knew to achieve that without Kara here to help her. After she quickly cut her forearm she drops the glass at her feet and sinks down to the bathroom floor, feeling significantly calmer and finally feeling as though she can take a full breath.

It takes Lena a few minutes to feel the intoxicating haze her actions have given her wear off. She grabs a hand towel from the linen closet and hold it to the cut on her arm and aside from the mix of guilt and shame, Lena feels something she is not familiar with feeling after cutting: fear. Lena was pretty sure the injury was not deep enough to require anything drastic like the hospital, but she also didn't know what to do next. As she felt her anxiety beginning to spike again she remembered something Alex had told her months before, "my phone is always on, I'd rather help you feel safe at 2am…" Lena looked at the clock in the bathroom and it was at that point about 12:30 in the morning and while she felt awful at the thought of waking Alex up, it was the only option she felt safe using. Lena got her phone from the bedroom and with great hesitation she hit Alex's name in her phone. It rang a few times which made Lena feel guilty for calling so late, but she didn't have time to panic as Alex finally answered on the 4th or 5th ring.

"Danvers." Alex's voice was sleepy and Lena could hear her yawn and she clearly wasn't awake enough to see which phone she was answering: her work phone or her personal phone.

"Alex, its...its Lena." Lena regretted not being able to control how she sounded and her voice breaking would suggest something was wrong, which it was, but she didn't want Alex to worry.

"Right, sorry I didn't check the screen before I answered. Kara was fine when I checked on her about an hour ago. I told her I'd let her sleep the rest of the night unless she asked the med staff to call me. So she should be all set for tests in the morning and then she'll be home." Lena was glad to hear that Kara was doing well and that should would be home soon, but Lena struggled to get the reason for her call out.

"Good, I'll probably come get her around 7, that way you have time to run your tests." Lena kept her voice in CEO mode and that caught Alex's attention more than her earlier stutter did.

"Lena, did you call to check on Kara or did you call for something else?" Lena wanted to lie and say it was for Kara, but she looked at her injury and forced herself to be honest with Alex.

"Something else." Alex felt suddenly more awake and was rolling off the temporary mattress she had set up in her office.

"Ok, are you alright? What's wrong?" Alex tried to keep her tone of voice calm because she knew Lena well enough to know that if she sensed panic in Alex she would lie and shut down to protect Alex.

"I'm fine, I just had a difficult dream and I just freaked out and I guess…I couldn't stop myself."

"Couldn't stop yourself from what Lena?" Alex had an idea what Lena was talking about and she was already putting her field jacket on over her PJs.

"It would appear that old habits do in fact die hard. And I think…I need some extra help if you are available." Alex reached for her car keys and hesitated, "Lena, would it be a good idea to bring my medical bag with me?"

"That would probably be a wise decision Alex, yes." Alex hated that she had to grab the bag and she hoped whatever she was walking into was not as bad as what she thought up in her head. "Lena I am walking to the car now, will you be ok till I get there?"

Lena checked her injury and knew she would be fine till Alex showed up. "I'll be ok Alex. I'll take the alarm off so just use your code to get in." Lena hung up the phone immediately after saying that, which she didn't think much of until she immediately got a phone call back from Alex. As soon as the phone clicked through and well before Lena can say anything she hears Alex's voice, "don't you dare hang up on me after calling me for this kind of help. And just so we are clear, I am not mad you called, I am mad you thought I was gonna hang up the damn phone before I stepped foot in your building."

"Sorry. I didn't intend to scare you."

"Lena if I'm gonna help you, you gotta drop your CEO tone."

"Alex I'm afraid I can't do that until you get here."

"Why?"

"This tone, it helps me keep things compartmentalized in my head and if I lose that right now I will just be a mess of tears when you get here." Alex sighed heavily and Lena could hear the car get turned on. "Ok. But you gotta talk to me while I drive."

"I'm not sure what to say."

"Doesn't have to be anything meaningful Lena, I just need to hear you talking." Lena understood and began to tell Alex about her week at work: meetings she had had, her latest projects and even managed to slip in details about how the beginning stages of the wedding planning was going. This took up the 15 minutes it took Alex to get outside Lena's building. She let Lena know when she had parked the car and only when she had reached the elevator did she agree that Lena could hang up the phone. Lena could hear the front door open and then heard Alex's voice right after.

"Lena, its me."

"Bedroom." Lena waited, but didn't have to wait long for Alex to enter the Master Bedroom where she was still sitting on the bed. Alex put her bag down on the floor and shed her jacket, leaving both women in their Pjs. Alex sat down opposite Lena and gave her a second to adjust to another person seeing her vulnerable and scared. Lena didn't say anything, but held out her arm for Alex to look at. Alex peeled away the towel and saw that while the cut was still bleeding, it did not seem like a deep enough injury to require stiches. Alex looked at Lena who had her head turned away from Alex.

"Lena. Hey, Lena you gotta stay with me on this okay? Is this the only one?" Lena nodded her head. "Ok. That's good. I am gonna grab my bag to bandage this, it might be easier in the bathroom." Lena shook her head no.

"That would not be a safe option until I clean it up Alex." Alex looked confused and quickly ducked her head in the Master Bathroom and she saw the broken mirror which at least gave her a snapshot of what had happened. She returned to Lena, grabbed her bag and laid Lena's arm across a pillow, placing a sterile sheet under it. Alex put on gloves and pulled out some butterfly bandages and some wrap bandages. She tossed the towel aside and cleaned the cut, something that made Lena wince with pain at first, but after that she seemed to be fine. Alex examined the cut one more time to make sure it was clean, put the butterfly strips on it to keep it closed and after putting some gauze on top of those she carefully wrapped Lena's arm with the adhesive wrap bandage.

"After a few days, you won't have to have any bandage on it and it'll heal like any other injury. For the weekend though, I would keep everything on it and then next time you shower take a look and see if you need another bandage ok?" Lena nodded and let Alex clean up her supplies while she sat there in relative silence. Alex sat back down on the bed and didn't wait for Lena to say anything.

"Now that we took care of the actual cut, you need to tell me what happened." Lena took a deep breath and looked up, finally making direct eye contact with Alex. A move that in the business world made her a force to be reckoned with, but in this moment all it did was show Alex exactly how much pain Lena was in. Lena opened her mouth a few times, trying to say something but nothing came out. Finally, she was able to get out the only thing she was used to saying when she had been caught cutting when she was younger, "I'm sorry." Lena had tears rolling down her face and Alex hated to see it because for all her power in the boardroom, Lena Luthor looked like a kicked puppy when she was sad and crying. Alex brushed some of the tears from Lena's face and the gesture was a little too much kindness for Lena and it caused the tears to come more.

"Hey, Lena you need to just listen to me. I know it's scary, but this doesn't mean you are back in the same mindset you were when you were younger. Now I can't know that unless you tell me for sure, but I get the feeling that this wasn't you trying to end your life."

"I wasn't."

"Ok, good. Just tell me what did happen." Lena explained, in that watery voice you have when you've been crying, and Alex felt better that this wasn't a life threatening emergency, but she still was concerned for Lena. Lena tried to brush all the tears away and stand up from the bed.

"I should put on some shoes and sweep up the glass in the bathroom so I don't step on it later." Lena moved to do just that, but Alex stopped her. "I'll get it. You just rest for a bit ok."

"Alex, I can clean up my own mess. Back in the day I did it with some regularity and I never got hurt a second time." Alex nodded and still didn't move.

"When you were in your 20's and this happened all the time, who cleaned up after everything was calm?"

"I did."

"What about when you went into the hospital after the suicide attempt? You were unconscious, who cleaned up that time?" Lena looked like Alex had sucker punched her and she looked away. Alex gently pushed, "Lena, who?"

"I did. When I came back, I cleaned it up. Mother said it was a cry for attention and she would not have our staff clean it up and reward my behavior with attention from the help. So when I got back, I cleaned it up." Alex had feared as much and her response was to point back to the bed until Lena sat back down.

"Exactly, you cleaned up every time, even the one time where someone else really should have helped you. This wasn't a cry for attention Lena, it was a cry for help, now and back then. I am going to go clean it up because that is what people who love one another do: they help you when you are hurt, they clean up after you and they cover your ass. They love you when you cannot love yourself, so please let me help you with this."

Lena shifted in her spot on the bed, "you sound like Kara." Alex smiled, "yeah well, who do you think taught her all the smart shit she tells you about family and love." Alex went and quickly swept up the glass in the bathroom and removed the glad fragments from around the sink. She threw away the metal that had held the mirror and all the glass away before cleaning the floor with a mop. Once everything was settled in there she returned to Lena who was laying on the bed, turned toward Kara's side of the bed, clutching her pillow.

"All cleaned up." Alex went over to her sister's side of the bed and say that Lena was still awake. Alex pointed to Kara's side of the bed, "this seat taken?" Lena smiled slightly and gestured for Alex to sit. Alex instead mirrored Lena and propped herself up on her elbow.

"I would ask if you want to talk about it, but I know you don't. Instead, let me say something to you. Thank you for calling me." Lena was expecting a lot of things from Alex, but a thank you was not on the list.

"Why would you thank me?"

"Because I told you to call if you needed help and you did. I have known enough people with this problem to know that maybe you couldn't have called me in the moment and that's ok because you called me before it got any worse. You let me help you."

"I think I had a nightmare that triggered an anxiety or panic attack. Usually, when Kara is home she hears my heartbeat speed up and can wake me up before it gets bad, but without her here I just woke up freaking out and it was like I couldn't breathe, let alone call you." That made a lot of sense to Alex because she heard less and less about Kara's nightmares in the time she had been with Lena because they both managed to catch the other when night time terrors came to call.

"I'm sorry she isn't here. I didn't think waking her to bring her with me would be what you need right now."

"I'll obviously tell her when she comes back, but yes it would've been harder in some ways had she come with you." Alex looked at the clock and noticed how late it had gotten.

"Well, I am exhausted and you should sleep if you can. Can I crash on the couch or the guest room?" Lena glanced at the clock and realized in that moment how tired she was now that things were calm. She also realized that she did not want to go back to sleep alone. She pulled Kara pillow closer to her and moved so she was back on her side of the bed.

"You can stay in here with me. If you want." Alex knew that this was the closest she would ever get to hearing Lena admit she did not want to be alone so she took the hint and did not push it. "I'll get an extra pillow from the guest bedroom and I'll be right back ok?" Lena nodded as she settled back into the bed and tried to focus on the faint scent she could detect from Kara's pillow. Alex returned and gently climbed into her sister's side of the bed, turning off the bedside lamp and turning on her side.

"Night Lena." Alex mumbled it as she curled into Kara's spot. She didn't hear anything back and had assumed Lena had just fallen fast asleep. Instead she felt a small hand gently grip her own: a sensation that made her open her eyes. She saw Lena's hand in her own and her heart broke a little as she watched Lena clutch Kara's pillow to her like she would die if she let it go.

"Lena." The CEO looked at Alex and Alex could see the tears that Lena tried to hide and it made her think of all the nights Kara would spend in bed when she first got to earth: scared and crying, desperate for her big sister to make the scary things go away. Alex pushed herself closer to Lena and opened her arms, "I am not going to insult your pride by offering you a hug, but if some human contact is what will make you feel secure and safe, I'm at least moderately comfortable. Probably not as comfy to snuggle as Kara, but I am a pretty good stand in." Lena cracked a smile and was thankful beyond words at Alex's gesture. She moved closer to the older woman and didn't realize how much she needed that physical show of love until she felt herself grip Alex tighter than she meant to.

"I'm sorry Alex." Alex ran her fingers through Lena's hair and the CEO could feel her shake her head. "Don't apologize for needing help Lena or for needing some extra love. Everyone needs to be held up sometimes."

"Not Luthors." Alex held her tighter, "yes, Luthors. Look Lena, Lex and Lillian are two pieces of work I can't make heads or tails of, but this is not about them. You are a human being with a heart that is just as fragile as anyone else's and thank God you aren't like them Lena. You have the best parts of being a Luthor without all the hatred that your family tries to be proud of. So trust me Lena, even you, with all your good parts, need help and love."

"How can you be so sure I have all the best parts of my family?"

"Because only the person with the kindest soul in any family, who has all the good of their name in them, could possibly attract the very best that my family has to offer. Kara never gave people chasing her the time of day, that is, until you started chasing her. Then all of a sudden she was quite happy to stop and see who exactly had the guts to love someone who is quite literally out of this world." Lena seemed to settle and be less tense after that, but she stayed snuggled into Alex's body, almost like a kid holding a stuffed animal to keep it safe in the dark.

"Thank you, Alex."

"You are welcome, now sleep." Alex wasn't sure how long it took, but she was willing to bet that both she and Lena passed out pretty soon after that. She woke up to her alarm going off at 630 and if they didn't have to go get Kara at the DEO she would have ignored it and went back to sleep. She sat up in the bed and after sending some texts to the Agents watching Kara she looked at Lena and almost laughed at exactly how relaxed the CEO looked when dead asleep.

"Lena." Alex tapped the sleeping woman's arm gently and Lena half opened her eyes before groaning. "What time is it?"

"6:30. I have to head back to the DEO to get Kara. You wanna come with me or are you ok here?" Lena sat up slowly and looked around.

"I think I'm going to stay here. If I show up like this she will be more worried than if you tell her to come home before we get breakfast." Alex had to agree, seeing Lena with a small injury outside their home would leave Kara more unsettled. Alex told Lena she would be back in an hour and she left to go get Kara and bring her back home. Alex spent most of the drive trying to figure out the best way to bring Kara home without startling her with news about Lena. As Alex walked into the DEO she was handed a tablet by another agent who showed her Kara's current stats, all of which seemed to be at her normal baseline. Alex went into the room Kara was in and saw her sister changing into her spare set of clothes.

"There you are. They already ran tests on me and said I could go home as soon as you said I could. Is Lena here yet?" Alex smiled, "she actually called me and asked if you could meet her at home first and then you all leave for breakfast from there."

"Why'd she call you and not me?"

"Because she knows you were supposed to be resting. Now you have my all clear to go home, so let's go." Alex started walking out of the room and Kara followed sort of confused.

"You are taking me home?"

"Just because you can fly everywhere, does not mean you should. Besides, just because the tests are all good does not mean I want you taxing your powers so soon after a fight." Kara looked at Alex over the rim of her glasses the whole ride down the elevator and the whole walk to the car. Once they left the garage Kara broke the silence.

"You are hiding something from me and its scaring me so just tell me."

"I'm not hiding something from you. I am just taking you home."

"You are the worst liar ever. You lie almost every day about what you really do for work and yet you can't lie to me to save your damn life. So what are you trying to hide from me?" Alex sighed, she had to give Kara that point: she was not good at lying to Kara, at least not anymore.

"Kara, it's not my thing to share with you, but trust me, everything is ok." Kara opened her mouth to argue further and push for details and Alex held up her hand.

"No, Kara! You need to fucking trust me on this one ok. You KNOW I would not lie to you about something important and you know I honor my word so just sit still for the rest of the ride home and it'll all make sense." Kara relented and sat back in her seat. She had been texting with Lena prior to leaving the DEO so she knew she was alright at least, but Kara knew something was wrong, but not wrong enough to cause Alex to break a promise. All that to say, none of this stopped Kara from bolting from the car the second Alex parked it in the garage at the penthouse. Alex hauled ass to catch up with Kara and only did because the hero had to wait for the elevator. Alex was quiet in the elevator cuz at this point she knew better than to try and calm Kara down. When they stepped off the elevator Kara all but ran through the front door with Alex trailing behind her. She normally would have yelled out Lena's name, but she did not need to: she could hear where Lena was. As Alex joined her in the living room she and Kara could hear the unmistakable sound of a piano being played.

The two sisters walked slowly through the penthouse to the parlor where Lena had a baby grand piano nestled in the corner near the fireplace. Kara knew that whatever was wrong with Lena would be addressed later and she took a seat on the couch that faced the fireplace and pointed for Alex to do the same. Kara knew that Lena usually never played the piano unless she needed to express herself somehow or she was in a good amount of pain. It was the best outlet she had to cope with the things that often came up around her past trauma and it allowed her to communicate with Kara without saying anything directly.

_**One thing that I know  
It will get better  
Each and every drought  
Ends in the river**_

_**If I were a diviner, you'd be awash in rain to cool your fire  
Oh to cool your fire**_

Alex was more than a little surprised since she had never heard Lena sing very seriously and she knew the CEO played the piano, but she did not know she could play it like this._****_

_**There could be winds of change in my auburn hair  
But I'll tie it back for now  
And when the bitter breeze carries a trace of fear  
We'll persevere some how**_

_**We're gonna push on through, pretty girl  
Just like we always do, beautiful girl  
I know the world can be cruel, pretty girl  
You're gonna make it 'cause you've got love on your side**_

_**The truth of letting go  
Lies in the answer  
That when the storm subsides  
I'll still be there to hold you**_

_**There's beauty in your violence, and the dissonant melody I hear you sing  
Oh I love to hear you sing**_

_**There could be winds of change in my auburn hair  
But I'll tie it back for now  
And when the bitter breeze carries a trace of fear  
We'll persevere somehow**_

_**We're gonna push on through, pretty girl  
Just like we always do, beautiful girl  
I know the world can be cruel, pretty girl  
You're gonna make it 'cause you got love on your side**_

_**Pretty girl**_

_**One thing that I know  
Is it will get better.**_

Lena played the song out and as she did Kara got up from her seat and went and stood next to the piano bench.

"You're playing."

"I am. You're home."

Kara smiled, "I am. Clean bill of health too." Lena smiled and nodded, still not making eye contact with Kara. Kara could see the bandage on Lena's arm so she could take a guess at what happened to cause the injury and the piano playing so she didn't push Lena.

"How about we make breakfast instead? Alex is here to supervise so I won't burn the kitchen down." Lena smiled more genuinely at that and stood up from the piano bench. In a very fluid motion she leaded into Kara and let her fiancé wrap her arm around her in a hug.

"I…I didn't have a good night." Kara kissed the top of Lena's head and held her a little tighter. "I can see that." Kara pulled Lena back for a moment so she could look at her face. "How are you now?"

Lena nodded, "I'm ok, just tired. Alex came and helped me and then we fell asleep, but not for very long." Kara nodded and looked over at Alex with an appreciative look on her face.

"How about we go back and lie down then? Then we could have brunch when we wake up."

"You don't have to do that for me."

"I don't. Just like how you do not have to pretend to be ok if you aren't. I can handle whatever is going on inside you Lena. But you gotta let me help."

Lena looked like the tears would start again if she wasn't careful and she looked at Kara briefly, "I'm sorry."

"Love. It's ok. You called Alex for help and that is all that matters. The rest we will figure out in time, just like we always do. Do you want to talk about it now or get some rest and talk later?" Lena managed to choke out "later" before dissolving into tears while Kara hugged her. Kara quickly picked Lena up bridal style and carried the crying CEO into their bedroom. She laid Lena down, kissed her and whispered that she would be right back. Kara met Alex in the doorway and nodded toward the bed.

"I'm gonna let her get some more sleep. You are welcome to stay and get some more sleep or head home. I know Kelly must miss having you actually at home instead of the DEO overnight." Alex nodded, but looked over Kara's shoulder at Lena who had resumed hugging Kara's pillow.

"Will you two be ok if I go? I can stay." Kara smiled and offered her sister a tight hug before letting her go. "You've done enough, more than enough in fact. So go home and take a nap. Eat something and spend time with your girlfriend. I'll check in later and maybe we can have dinner together, the four of us, if Lena is up for it later tonight."

"That sounds good. Just let me know. And for what it is worth, physically Lena is fine and I know in time she will be back in her normal state of mind."

Kara nodded her understanding, "thank you for coming over last night to help her. I know she probably hated asking for the help, but the fact that she asked anyone other than me for it is huge. So, thank you." Alex offered Kara a small kiss on her cheek, before pointing to the door, "I am going to head out. Just call me in a few hours ok?" Kara nodded and walked Alex out, locking the door and setting the alarm behind her. When she returned to the bedroom she changed out of her clothes and put on Pjs before getting into bed. When she did Lena naturally snuggled close to Kara and rested her head on the hero's chest because even without Kara's power of super hearing, the beating of her lover's heart was all Lena needed to feel safe and calm. Lena mumbled I love you before passing out totally and after repeating it back to her Kara did the same.


	6. Too Gentle

Hours later Kara finally woke up when she felt the warmth she always felt when Lena and she shared a bed shift. She turned over, eyes still shut and searched for Lena with her free arm and she eventually felt Lena's shoulder and without much effort pulled the CEO close to her so Lena's body was pressed against her own.

"It is so unfair when you use your powers in bed." Kara smiled and opened her eyes slightly to see Lena leaning on her elbow, looking at Kara with a goofy grin on her face.

"I have very vivid memories of you telling me you like when I use my powers in bed." Kara leaned over and kissed Lena deeply, but without the pressure of it developing into something more. The CEO returned the kiss and without Kara really registering what happened she quickly threw her leg over Kara's body so that she was straddling Kara's waist, a very proud smile on her lips.

"Darling, you know I am always so glad to be on the receiving end of your powers in bed, but you can't always be on top." Kara smirked at Lena, but left them in that position.

"Really? So I couldn't flip us both over and end up with me on top of you? Cuz I am pretty sure I can, unless we are using the red sun emitter you made that makes me practically human."

"Hey, there is nothing wrong with being human." Lena pretended to pout and Kara had to laugh, "no love, I happen to love humans very very much. In fact, there is this one human I enjoy spending all my free time with." Kara used this moment to flip them over so she hovered over Lena who pretended to be pissed, but was already laughing.

"Cheater." Kara smiled as she kissed Lena and then moved to kiss along her jaw line before moving down to her neck. A move that always drove Lena crazy.

"I see, so you want me stop kissing your neck because I cheated and used my powers to flip us? I understand that's totally fair." Lena's brain short circuited for a minute before answering, "don't you dare stop." Kara smiled as she continued, kissing both sides of Lena's neck including right behind her ear. This one sided make out session lasted for a while until Kara tasted something salty when her lips grazed Lena's cheek. Kara's head snapped up and caught Lena trying to frantically brush away tears. Kara panicked for a moment, thinking she had hurt Lena somehow.

"Hey, Lena, what happened? Did I hurt you? I'm so sorry Lena, I…" Kara was silenced by Lena covering her mouth with her hand and shaking her head. "You didn't hurt me. You've never hurt me." This was followed by more tears that seemed to only become more intense the harder Lena tried to contain them. Kara laid down next to Lena and turned her body to face her, gently rubbing her thumb across Lena's cheek.

"Lena, just take your time and tell me what happened. Just tell me how I can help." Lena snuggled close to Kara and seemed desperate for her fiancé to be as close to her as possible. "Just hold me." Kara laid flat against the bed and let Lena get comfortable before she wrapped her tightly in her arms.

"Tighter Kara." Kara was surprised because usually she knew about how much force to hug Lena with and this was almost always enough.

"Ok, but you tell me if it is too tight." Lena nodded and when Kara tightened her grip she actually seemed to settle more into Kara's body which made Kara worry less, but answered none of her questions. Kara did however, know enough to know that pushing Lena now would help no one. So she waited with them in that position for a little over 15 minutes before Lena said anything.

"Sometimes when I get upset I can't handle when someone is being kind and gentle with me." Kara knotted her forehead in confusion because that was such a foreign concept to her. Who wouldn't be gentle when someone was upset or sad? Then she remembered the life Lena had growing up and had a better understanding of why Lena reacted to Kara the way she had.

"Is it always that way?" Lena shook her head no. "No. When we first dated and I would push you away sometimes, it was not me playing games with you, it was me not able to handle the gentleness you showed me. Now I am so used to that, but if I have an anxiety or a panic attack I respond like I did as a teenager and no one was gentle with me back then." Kara hated the dethatched way Lena said the last part of her explanation.

"I'm sorry Lena." Lena picked her head up from Kara's chest and traced the hero's face with her fingers. "You have nothing to be sorry for Kara. It's not your fault that I don't know how to respond to gentleness when I am upset."

"I know, but I am sorry that you had to wait till you met me to feel it." Lena smiled and kissed Kara before snuggling back into her chest. "It was worth waiting for darling." Kara still did not like it, but she let it go for the time being. Once Lena felt more settled she allowed Kara to loosen her grip though she stayed snuggled against her. Kara's stomach growled and the sound broke the tension and made Lena smile.

"My superhero needs to be fed I see." Lena looked at the clock and realized she should probably eat too. "I should eat something too."

"I told Alex I would call her when we woke up, maybe have her and Kelly over for dinner if we felt up to it." Lena sat up from the bed and climbed over Kara before pointing to the bathroom. "Check what we have in the kitchen because I didn't go grocery shopping yesterday so we might have to order something in, in which case maybe ask Alex what they want to eat. I'm going to shower." Kara grabbed her phone and texted Alex about dinner and as she waited she got up from the bed and began to put some different clothes on. Her phone rang in response and she answered as she was pulling her jeans over her hips.

"Hey Alex."

"Kelly and I were going to grab some stuff at the store so if you all need groceries we can grab some. Or at the very least grab some stuff that we could cook for dinner."

"Lena will probably just order some groceries tonight so we can handle our normal stuff, but maybe grab something that you guys want for tonight. Or tell me where we are gonna order from, cuz neither of us have eaten today." Kara could hear Alex talking to Kelly before responding to Kara, "Kelly says it is your guys' turn to pick food so maybe see what your bride wants for dinner." Kara smiled and rolled her eyes at Alex's name for Lena. She stepped into the bathroom and quickly asked Lena, "baby, Alex and Kelly say it's our turn to pick food. Any requests?" Lena turned around in the shower and poked her head out to talk to Kara.

"We had Chinese food last time, so maybe pizza?" Kara nodded and told her sister that they would order pizza so they could come over whenever the couple was done shopping. Once she hung up with Alex, Kara stepped back out of the bathroom to let Lena finish her shower while she ordered their dinner. Once she hung up Lena joined her in the living room, wet hair hanging down around her shoulders and wearing a fresh pair of pjs, something uncharacteristic for Lena Luthor unless you knew that deep down she enjoyed being comfortable when in her own home.

"You order enough food?"

"2 full pies for me, 1 for you guys who only need normal amounts of calories and a salad because you worry I don't eat enough vegetables when I don't order one." Lena smiled and rewarded Kara with a quick kiss, "salads aren't as bad as you make them out to be you know."

"So you claim." Lena leaned into Kara's shoulder and with this closeness Kara noticed the cut on Lena's arm. Prior to now the bandage had been on it, but Lena had removed it to shower and let the injury breathe before covering it again. Kara gently touched the skin just a few inches away from the cut and she just kept her hand there as a source of comfort for Lena. Kara was quiet and wasn't going to say anything unless Lena brought things up.

"Alex says it'll heal fine on its own." Kara nodded and pressed a kiss to Lena's hairline.

"Good. I bet she can wrap it for you again when they come over."

"I'm sorry Kara."

"For what?" Lena turned to Kara and pointed to her arm, "for this. Kara, I already don't totally know how someone like you fell in love with someone like me, but you definitely don't deserve to have this level of crazy in your life when your life is already so full of crazy moments." Lena did not often talk like this, at least not much in the last year or so, but when she needed more support from Kara she often felt like she was asking for too much when in reality she wasn't asking for anything she wasn't giving in their relationship.

"Let's tackle those things one at a time. First, I fell in love with you because you are smart and funny and the most beautiful creature on any planet I have ever been to. You and I have such similar pasts that I forget sometimes that we had different support systems growing up. I had a family who would die protecting me and you had a family who would kill anyone to protect themselves. And honestly Lena, for that I am so sorry, because you deserved way better, every kid does. Second, you are not crazy. This does not tell me you are crazy, it tells me you are hurting which makes me sad, but certainly doesn't scare me away. And yeah, my work is crazy, but that's why being with you is so special. You make all that melt away." Lena smiled and brushed tears away before she made direct eye contact with Kara.

"Everyone needs help sometimes Lena, even women like you and me." Lena smiled, "you sound like your sister."

"Yeah, well sometimes she says smart things and occasionally I listen." Lena laughed and offered Kara kiss on her cheek. "I'm going to go grab dishes for food." Kara watched Lena leave the room and after texting Alex to see if they had an ETA she went into the kitchen to help grab things they needed for dinner. Once the table was set, Lena went back into the parlor area and sat back down at the piano. Kara knew well enough to give Lena space when she was going and sitting down to play. Kara busied herself by making a shopping list for them and was only interrupted by Alex texting her to open the door because both she and Kelly had their hands full of stuff. Kara went to the front door and opened just as her sister and her girlfriend got off the elevator.

"I thought I told you we were fine." Alex shrugged her shoulders as she walked by Kara, "yeah you did, but you and Lena also never want to impose so I just got you guys some basic things just in case you hadn't ordered groceries yet." Kelly followed Alex in and both she and Kara had to roll their eyes a little bit at Alex's inability to not default into "mom mode".

"We also intercepted the delivery guy downstairs so dinner is here as well." Kelly nodded to the pizzas and salad container she had in her arms. Kara looked at Alex and wondered why she had not just gone into the kitchen, then she realized that Lena was still playing the piano and Alex likely felt as though she would disrupt the other woman if she entered the kitchen while she played. Kara gently touched her sisters arm, "she won't hear you Alex. Just put stuff down in the kitchen and when she is done she'll join us." Alex nodded and began to put away the groceries while Kelly set the food on the kitchen table. Kelly had been filled in by Alex when she got home, but Alex of course didn't tell her girlfriend absolutely everything, choosing to tell Kelly the important things while not betraying Lena's trust by sharing too much with her girlfriend who happened to be a therapist.

Kara was putting the last of the groceries and was about to go get Lena's attention when noticed the music and tempo change and she smiled, something that did not go unnoticed by Alex and Kelly.

"What's with the goofy grin baby sister?"

Kara nodded over to Lena, "she's been playing different songs to see if we like any of them enough to be the song we dance to first after the wedding. We tossed this one out as that song, but she has been obsessed with it ever since so she plays it randomly." Kara gestured to the kitchen table and Alex and Kelly took a seat while Kara went to stand behind Lena whiel she played and sang.

**Woke up this morning, light poured in, you're with me  
I thought I'd be better off alone  
Now, my soul has been torn and reborn, started breathing  
What have I done?  
What have I done?**

**I never thought I needed saving, I was right where I should be  
Good God, I know it's dangerous, but it's you that I need  
I'm in love this time  
I'm in love this time  
What have I done?  
What have I done?**

**So, don't you fall back asleep for this moment  
Just be, I wanna get it right for once  
Oh, I've been knocked out and beat but this feeling is fleeting  
What have I done?  
What have I done?**

**Never thought I needed saving, I was right where I should be  
Good God, I know it's dangerous, but it's you that I need  
I'm in love this time  
I'm in love this time  
What have I done?  
What have I done?**

**Ever since the other night  
I've been thinking 'bout the way you smile golden  
Wanna move inside of your light  
Ever since the other night  
I've been thinking 'bout the way you smile golden  
Wanna move inside of your light  
What have I done?  
Oh no, what have I done?  
You be brave for me, now**

Kara took a seat next to Lena on the piano bench and sang the last verse with her.

**I never thought I needed saving, I was right where I should be  
Good God, I know it's dangerous, but it's you that I need  
I'm in love this time  
I'm in love this time  
What have I done?  
What have I done?**

Lena played the song out and accepted a brief kiss from Kara before they were interrupted by Alex and Kelly clapping. Kara looked behind her and blushed, burying her face in Lena's shoulder.

"I'm sending this video of you singing to mom because she is convinced you don't sing anymore." Alex waved her phone at the couple as they returned to the kitchen table. Lena sat down at the table with the others and they all seemed to very easily fall into their usual conversations. At different points when Lena would reach for her glass or more food, Kara would notice her using her injured arm without noticing it and while Alex knew not to look, Kelly couldn't help but catch sight of the injury two or three times. Kara felt bad for Kelly on some level because if nothing else, it must be hard to be in the field she worked in and see someone in your family suffer from something like this. They finished dinner and Lena and Alex got caught up talking about something Lena was working on at L Corp, leaving Kara and Kelly to clear the table. While Kara loaded the dishwasher, Kelly looked over her shoulder at Lena and Alex who were by now "nerding out" as Kara calls it over the blue prints Lena had brought home with her.

"Who would've pegged the two of them as getting along and becoming friends?" Kara smiled and nodded, "I know, I didn't think at first that Alex would ever let herself like or trust Lena, but I guess after they literally fought things out they were fine. Alex has been great about supporting Lena and supporting me with Lena."

"Speaking of that, she told me what happened. Is Lena alright?" Kara nodded, "she and I talked more after we got more sleep this morning. She's ok. It was just concern over me coupled with some triggers from her childhood and I wasn't here like usual to help her calm down. She did what she did out of fear. But she seems to be doing better."

"Look, Kara, I know having a therapist in the family can be a pain and while I can't help Lena myself, I can give you the name of someone who can see her professionally. If that is what she wants that is."

"I bring it up every now and then to her and the answer has remained the same because she is afraid that either a therapist would not treat her because of her last name or would spill her secrets to the first reporter who came calling." Kelly figured that would be the issue.

"Well, if she changes her mind let me know, I have lots of friends in this field who see celebrities and have to keep confidential records very closely guarded. In the meantime, if either of you does need something I can help, or I can try, just not in an official capacity."

"I appreciate it and I'll tell Lena. In the end, it's her call, not mine."

"Well, if nothing else she has you and that seems to be enough." Kara looked behind her as Alex and Lena were shouting, not out of anger, but because they had figured something out and Kara had to smile. "She has more than just me."


	7. Mean Right Hook

A few weeks later, Kara was flipping through wedding magazines with Alex as they sat in the penthouse. Lena was on her way home from work and while their original plans had included Kelly, the psychologist had come down with a nasty flu and insisted that Alex get out of the apartment to try and avoid getting sick. Alex only agreed to do so once she made sure the house was stocked with medicine and enough food to help Kelly feel better. And that is how the federal agent found herself with a bridal magazine in her lap while Kara sat upside down on the couch, her feet dangling over the top of the couch and her head hanging off the edge.

"You have got to make a decision Kara, you get married in like 8 months." Kara groaned and let the magazine gently fall on her face. The hero had yet to pull the trigger on wearing a suit or a dress and she had begged her sister to help her with the decision.

"But what if I look stupid in what I pick?" Alex rolled her eyes at her sister's theatrics.

"Kara, you are going to look like a technical knockout even if you show up in jeans and a t-shirt." Kara's face lit up an Alex realized her mistake. "No Kara, you can't wear that to get married." The discussion was interrupted by Lena coming in the penthouse, "what can't Kara wear to the wedding?"

"Your bride, my baby sister, seems to think wearing jeans to her own wedding is appropriate." Lena looked at Kara, who was still upside down and the blonde flashed her a bright smile. "I see. Well darling, you know I've joked that you could show up to the wedding wearing nothing and I would be quite pleased to still marry you, but I think something more formal might suit you better." Lena knelt down so that she was near Kara's head and quickly offered her fiancé a kiss.

"Gross, don't say shit like that about my sister and then Spiderman kiss her in front of me." Lena laughed and kissed Kara again before standing back up.

"In all seriousness love, wear what makes you comfortable. Personally I think you'd cut quite a figure in a well-tailored suit, but maybe you would prefer a dress." Alex covered her ears with her hands and pretended to ignore the CEO's comments.

"Christ, I get it you think my sister is hot, but I am sitting three feet from her so I am going to pretend that you aren't talking about what kind of figure she can cut in any type of clothing." Lena rolled her eyes and ignored Alex, instead tapping Kara's foot that hung off the couch.

"Did you ask her yet?" Kara shook her head no and Lena offered her an understand smile before pointing to Alex, "well that should change."

"Ask me what?" Alex looked confused and Kara glared at Lena, but to her credit the CEO didn't falter as she locked eyes with her fiancé. "Kara, I would give you the world if you asked for it, but this is one thing you have to do for yourself." Kara quickly sat up so she was no longer hanging off the couch and she reached out for Lena's hand.

"I don't want to have something at our wedding that is going to make you sad." Lena smiled and kissed the inside of Kara's wrist, "do you plan on being at our wedding?"

"Of course."

"Then darling, nothing else that happens that day could possibly make me sad." Kara nodded and even though Lena went to leave to give the sisters privacy, Kara wouldn't let go of Lena's hand. Kara turned to face her sister who was super confused, but very touched at Lena's handling of Kara's fears.

"Alex, I want you to be my maid of honor. And the only reason I didn't ask sooner and why Lena was pushing me was because I felt bad having someone when she didn't. And I would have made sure you had a special job for the wedding, but I just don't want Lena to feel alone on a day that is supposed to be happy. And…" Lena leaned forward and stopped Kara's rambling the quickest way she knew how: with a quick kiss.

"Darling, you are rambling and you are starting to cry and I hate seeing you cry. Just relax, ok? I will be at my wedding, so as long as I leave with you holding my hand as my wife, I don't need anyone standing behind me." Lena pulled away, this time walking away from the living room and going to change her clothes in the bedroom. Kara watched Lena leave and then turned back to Alex who seemed a little teary eyed, but was smiling.

"Sorry I rambled. I really do want you to be my maid of honor. If you want to that is?" Alex rolled her eyes before hugging her sister. "You're kidding right? Of course I want to be your maid of honor Kara." Alex let her sister go and while the hero was smiling, Alex knew that behind her joy was some significant amount of pain or she wouldn't have started crying.

"Kara. Talk to me, why the sad tears when this is something happy?" Kara crushed tears away and nodded toward the bedroom.

"Lena won't have anyone. I have you and Eliza to be my maid of honor and even walk me down the aisle if that is what we decide to do, but Lena doesn't have that Alex. She has the friends she made since knowing me and she has my family, but she doesn't have someone that she would want to stand up for her on her wedding day and I don't want her to feel that emptiness." Alex nodded her understanding. Kara was always hypersensitive to other people, but this was always magnified when it came to Lena and issues surrounding family. Alex thought for a second and stood up from the couch.

"Lena, you can come back in now." Alex bellowed over her shoulder and Lena did in fact return to the room.

"I take it that you two talked?" Alex nodded, "we did and I am very happy to be Kara's maid of honor." Lena tapped Kara's gently on the shoulder as if to say I told you so. Alex however, was not done talking.

"But of course, Kara being Kara is very concerned over you not having someone to stand up for you at the wedding."

"Alex, I told Kara and I will tell you. I don't need anyone in that role because the only thing I truly need from that day is to marry Kara and celebrate with the people who I love."

Alex nodded, Lena and Kara were exhausting when they did this: each of them trying to be strong and noble, not realizing that they were making things far more complicated than need be.

"Well, too bad. You may not need anyone in that role, but you have someone." Alex crossed her arms in front of her and Lena mirrored her. "I do?"

"Yep, you got me." Lena looked confused and for her part, so did Kara.

"You are Kara's maid of honor. You are impressive Alex, but even you can't be two people at the same time."

"That is where you are wrong. I will stand behind Kara most of the ceremony, but then switch to behind you when you do your part of the vows and rings. It honestly is not that hard." Lena's face softened and her arms fell at her sides, both surprised and touched at Alex's insistence that this was no big deal. Kara lunched herself into her sister's arms and was not paying attention to how hard she was hugging Alex. Lena quickly put a hand on Kara's shoulder.

"Baby, too tight. Alex needs to breathe." Kara quickly released her sister and stepped back so she stood next to Lena.

"Alex, honestly. You do not have to do this. I will be ok and Kara deserves to have you in that role and you have more than earned the right to have that moment with her."

"And what about what you have earned?" Lena opened her mouth to answer only to realize, she didn't have a good response. Alex continued, "listen, I will gladly admit that I was not your biggest fan when we first met and I was not anywhere close to happy when you two got together, but you did what no one before you has ever done: you showed up for my sister when it fucking counted. You showed me and everyone else watching that you were not your family. You weren't drunk on power or money. You showed me, through your actions, that you were literally just trying to live your life in a way that got you out of your family's shadow. And perhaps mostly importantly, you punched me square in the face when I said something fucked up about Kara." Kara smirked at the last point Alex made, because, if for no other reason, it was her favorite memory involving Alex and Lena.

Lena smiled ever so slightly at the comment. "I am still sorry about that by the way."

Alex shook her head, "I'm not. I was being a brat, big time, and I popped off, saying shit about you and Kara. I deserved what you handed me that day and while it hurt like bitch in the moment, I finally saw the real Lena Luthor, not the girl I had built up in my head as this evil genius. You defended the woman you love even though it meant taking a healthy dose of my hate speech. And just so you know, in that moment, when you had me by my collar against the wall, tears rolling down your face, I saw the real you and I understood instantly why Kara loved you. You became my family that day at the DEO, whether you like it or not, so for the love of all that is good in this world, just let me do this for you. Please?"

Kara wasn't exactly sure who was crying harder, Alex or Lena. Everyone in that room remembered the day Alex was talking about, however, Kara never actually knew what Alex had said to Lena that caused her fiancé to give her sister a black eye. Lena always insisted that it was just something the two women had to get out of their systems so Alex and Lena could move on and maybe one day tolerate each other. Kara made a mental note to push Lena for details later, but she looked at Lena who seemed to be weighing her options.

"I never had anyone love me the way you love Kara. Even before Lex became the person you know him as, he was never like you Alex. Lex never had a firm grasp of honor and integrity and he certainly did not have a solid idea of what love looked like. I had to learn all those things on my own, that is until Kara flew into my office…on a bus." Lena smirked, knowing Kara was likely beet red at the mention of her sorry excuse for a cover up. "She turned up in my life and all of a sudden I had someone willing to help me learn that I had honor and integrity, they weren't things I needed to acquire. Then I met you and I was so sure that no matter what, you and I were never going to get along because we were simply too different. But you know what? I think that whether or not we like it, you and I are remarkably the same. So if this is what you want, I think I would be very proud to have you stand up for me at my wedding. So long as Kara is alright with sharing you for that portion of the wedding." Lena looked over to Kara who seemed to be vibrating she was so excited.

"Of course you can share Alex." Lena turned back to Alex, "then it would appear you are pulling double duty at this wedding Agent Danvers." Alex smiled and sat back down on the other couch. "Good. Now if you could convince my sister to pick an outfit we would really be in business." Lena joined Kara on the other couch and the three of them talked for a while about the wedding. When things had quieted down Kara reached over and gently took Lena's hand.

"So with this decision made, does that mean you'll finally tell me what actually happened the day you punched Alex?" Lena smiled and Alex looked shocked, "wait? You don't know what happened?"

Kara shook her head, "All I know was the little bit of what you told me when you two came back from the DEO. Lena refused to ever tell me what happened outside of you two finally having it out with each other. I assumed it was just you guys calling each other names and maybe you said something mean so Lena hit you." Alex looked at Lena and the CEO seemed proud almost.

"You never told her."

"I didn't. You asked me not to and aside from giving you my word, I knew it would likely just make Kara angry at you for a while. I kept my word." Alex had to give Lena that much.

"I think she can handle it now." Lena looked at Alex for confirmation and the agent nodded. Lena settled in and set the scene for what happened the day she gave Alexandra Danvers a black eye.

_Lena and Kara were on their way back from dinner, choosing to go to Kara loft since it was closer to the restaurant. Kara had insisted they watch a movie and since Lena was hardly ever home, her entertainment center was lacking, so they were better off at Kara's anyway. As they rode up the elevator Kara had her fingers laced with Lena's and they both stole their fair share of kisses as they exited the lift and made their way towards Kara's door. As they rounded the corner Kara stole another kiss, a kiss that was only cut short because Lena saw something out of the corner of her eye that made her head turn. Kara followed Lena's gaze and paled slightly at the sight of her sister standing in front of her door with her arms crossed in front of her. Kara's knee jerk response was to grab Lena, pull her close to her and gently push her behind her body as a means of protection. This small movement caused Alex more surprise than seeing the couple kissing moments earlier. Alex opened the door and pointed inside._

"_Inside, now, both of you." Kara pulled Lena with her and gently guided her inside, keeping herself between her sister and her girlfriend. Once the door was shut and locked, Alex's calm demeanor disappeared._

"_What the hell Kara?"_

"_Alex let me explain."_

"_Explain what? You were kissing her Kara. Now I don't know about you, but I only kiss the people I date, so either she is way more than your friend or you really have boundary issues."_

"_Alex, we are dating. I was gonna tell you when we had movie night later this week. It's not a bad thing Alex, you of all people should be able to make peace with this."_

"_You think I'm pissed because you are dating a woman. For God sake Kara, I could care less what gender your partner is, you could marry whoever you want and I would send out the announcements."_

"_So, then what is the problem Alex?"_

"_She is a Luthor, Kara! What part of that is so hard for you to get through your head. I can count on one hand the members of her family who can be trusted." Kara looked at Lena who was holding things together, but Kara knew that Alex had touched on the spot that Lena struggled with the most. Kara leaned close to her and whispered "I'm sorry."_

"_Don't apologize for me Kara!"_

"_Well someone has to, you are being ridiculous."_

"_I am trying to protect you, Kara."_

"_No. You are letting other people's judgement cloud your own. For fuck sake Alex, Lena has helped us, literally helped us save the world, so what is the fucking problem." Alex shot Kara a warning glance and Kara braced herself for this to get far uglier than it already was at this moment._

"_She knows Alex. She knows who I am." Alex clenched her fists tightly at her sides and took steps closer to where the couple stood. _

"_Well, that's just great isn't Kara. Jesus, it is called a secret identity for a reason. Why the hell would you tell her of all people?"_

"_Why wouldn't I tell her? She has a right to know Alex."_

"_She is a LUTHOR, Kara. It's kind of brilliant, she found a way to get to Super in a way her brother never could. Must be a lot easier to attack someone if they are asleep next to you." Kara could feel herself get more angry and she was about to step into Alex's space when Lena put her hand on her arm and pulled her back._

"_It's ok Kara." Kara shook her head, "no it isn't. You don't have to put up with this. She is being an ass and you shouldn't have to put up with this." Lena cradled Kara's face in her hands and smiled, refusing to cry in this situation. "But I will. I will put up with it."_

"_Why?" Lena smiled, "because I love you Kara. That is reason enough to withstand all the ridicule in the world. Even from someone who you love so profoundly." Alex was floored and truthfully pissed. She wanted Lena to fight back so she could find something to pin on the younger woman: something real and tangible to hate her for. Instead, all she was met with was a tearful CEO who had just called off her sister, telling her that she would take whatever Alex was dishing out because she loved her. Alex watched as Lena stepped out from behind Kara and instead stood in front of her, effectively shield the hero from her sister._

"_My sister doesn't need your protection Luthor. She is fucking bullet proof."_

"_Good thing. You just yelled about her secret identity loud enough to alert the block so well done there." Alex realized that Lena had a point. In her anger, Alex had made a rather large mistake that he had to hope didn't cost them later._

"_And if you intend on continuing to throw this fit, then let me make it easy for you. I am right here. You clearly have things you want to say to me, say them. To me. Not to Kara. If you want your pound of flesh then come get it, but do not go through Kara to get to me. I won't stand for that." _

"_You think this little stunt is gonna impress me? You standing up for her, protecting her from me? I'm her sister, I am the one who protects her from people like you." Lena nodded, "and yet, here we are. And no I don't think this will impress you. I don't think anything I do will impress you because you have made up your mind that I will disappoint you so you are going to make damn sure I do. But, be that as it may, I won't let you take your anger for me out on Kara. If you want to yell at me and throw my family name around like a weapon, fine, but be an honorable enough person to face me yourself. Do not use Kara as your shield, I won't allow it."_

"_You won't allow it?"_

"_That is what I said." Alex put her hands on her hips and paced in front of Lena, the CEO never moving from her spot._

"_So what, you think that standing up to me is gonna impress her. Gonna win my sister's heart by being her hero. You're really going to let me throw my very worst at you just so that Kara doesn't have to hear it." Alex paused in front of Lena and waited for a response._

"_I have been called a great many things, most of them worse than what you just called me and I have been called those things by better people than you Agent Danvers. You do not scare me. So, either speak your peace and get out or admit that maybe things aren't always as they seem and that perhaps it is you who is wrong." Alex looked at Kara who was still standing behind Lena and she saw a pained expression on her sister's face and Alex did not want to be the one who admitted she was wrong, because she was so sure she knew what Lena was up to._

"_Bring her to the DEO at 9am. If you want your chance to prove yourself to me, you'll get it." Alex stormed out of the loft without getting a response. Truth be told, Alex expected neither Kara nor Lena to arrive at the DEO the next morning and yet the couple was sitting in Alex's lab when she arrived at 8:45. Alex turned to Kara, "you are going to go train with the hand to hand combat team."_

"_I'm not leaving you alone with her Alex. Not after yesterday." Lena put her hand on Kara's shoulder again and Alex was amazed, though she would never admit it at the time, at how fast Kara's muscles relaxed just at the slightest touch from Lena._

"_It's ok Kara. I can handle myself."_

_Kara turned to Lena, "you don't have to do this. Whatever it is she has planned, it won't be a fair fight and you do not have to prove yourself to me."_

_Lena kissed Kara's hand and smiled, "I know darling, but if there is any hope in Alex and I ever being able to stand each other, I have to do this. The only way out, is through." Kara nodded, offered Lena a quick kiss and began to leave the room. She paused in front of her sister, "I would tell you not to hurt her, but you already have. Instead, let me say this: if you ever loved me at all, you'll listen to her when she speaks and maybe you'll see that I do not have to pick between the two of you. I can love you both." Kara's tone was steady and low and if Alex didn't know any better she would say that what Kara said as she left was not so much a warning, but a promise. Alex knew in her heart, in that moment, if she made Kara pick between her and Lena, there was no question that Kara would follow the last Luthor standing to the ends of the earth. When Kara was gone, Alex turned to Lena and handed her a pair of work out clothes._

"_Change and then meet me outside." Lena looked at Alex with a questioning glance. "You want to defend your family name, defend my sister's honor? Here is your chance." Alex left the room and Lena knew better than to argue. She changed into the clothes and met Alex outside the door and was eventually led to a training room not unlike the one that Alex usually trained Kara in, minus the Kryptonite lamps. Alex tossed Lena a pair of boxing gloves._

"_Put those on." Lena instead let them fall to her feet._

"_No."_

"_What do you mean no?"_

"_I mean I am not going to fight you so you can run away claiming that a Luthor hit you and therefore cannot be trusted."_

"_Just put them on." Lena didn't move and Alex was sick of being made to look like the bad guy in this situation. If this was what Lena wanted, fine. Alex took a solid swing at Lena and was more than surprised when the young woman ducked and avoided the punch. _

"_I will block your punches Alex, but I am not throwing any." Alex continued to swing and jab at Lena, only ever being met with air or with the younger woman deflecting the punch._

"_You think you are too good to fight me? You think that this is what is gonna impress Kara? You not picking up any weapon, making me the bad guy?"_

"_You are doing a fine job making yourself the bad guy." Another round of blocked punches and Alex was growing more angry. _

"_I am trying to protect her. She trusts people too easily, even when they don't deserve it."_

"_No argument on that front. I never said I deserved her love Alex, but I have earned her trust, just as she has earned mine."_

"_Oh please, what did she even do to earn your trust? She share stories from home? You two compare sad orphan stories about losing your homes and family? She tell you all about the nightmares she has? Huh, she tell you about not feeling lovable because she was just this freak from space who…" To her credit, Lena tolerated a lot before she snapped and finally snapped, throwing the hardest punch she could and hitting Alex right below her right eye. Alex didn't see it coming and before she could react, Lena had her by her shirt collar and had her pressed up against the wall of the room._

"_If you ever call her a freak again, I will make sure you walk funny for the rest of your life. If you want to come for me, then come for me, but I will ruin what is left of your life if you come for her. You have no idea what she has been through. And yeah, we both lost our families Alex, but her's fucking blew up and she WATCHED it happen. She was a kid and she watched everyone she ever knew and loved blow up along with the only home she ever knew. I may have had a rough go, but at least I never had to learn the customs of a new world, control powers I didn't understand and try so desperately to find my place in a world that was not built for me. Just because she isn't like you doesn't mean she's a freak and even if it did mean that, I am not much better because I LOVE her Alex. I love her and I don't give a shit if you hate me or not, but she will. She loves you and looks up to you in a way I will never know personally. My brother abandoned me and chose his anger and fear over his love for me. If you are half as smart as Kara claims you are, you won't make the same mistake." Lena had tears streaming down her face and Alex caught a glimpse of the CEO's eyes as she made her point. Alex saw the tears: the frustration, sadness and pain that Alex had brought to the surface. More than that, Alex saw what Kara was talking about: she and Lena weren't as different as Alex wanted them to be._

_Lena unclenched her fists and let Alex go, walking away from her and back to the center of the room. "I believe we are done here Agent Danvers." Lena was surprised when Alex nodded and picked up the extra set of gloves that Lena refused to put on earlier._

"_I don't actually believe those things I said Lena. I don't think Kara is a freak or any of that. I just…"_

"_Wanted to make me mad? Well, it worked didn't it?"_

"_Yeah it did. But for what it is worth, I'm sorry. You have to know I love Kara and I just…I am not always the best decision maker when it comes to protecting her."_

"_The great Alexandra Danvers admitting she was wrong. How the mighty have fallen."_

"_I guess I deserved that."_

"_I guess you did." Lena turned to Alex, "for what it is worth, I won't be telling Kara what you said."_

"_Why not? You had a reason to hit me back, you were defending her."_

"_Exactly and do you know how her heart would break if she knew what I was defending her over? She already feels out of place on this planet Alex, hearing that her sister ever said anything to confirm that, even if you didn't truly mean it would do more harm than good. So, take it as a gift that I won't tell her the details of how you came to deserve the black eye you already have forming." Alex took out her phone and used the reverse camera to confirm that she did in fact have an intense bruise forming where Lena hit her._

When Lena finished the story she and Alex had smiles on their faces, while Kara seemed confused.

"So, wait. Alex never apologized to you." Lena shook her head. "She didn't need to dearest. After that morning, she made an effort to get to know me and she backed off of you enough to see that you were happy with me and that you weren't being tricked somehow. And in Alex's world, me getting that one good punch in and then telling her off, well, it told her more than she ever needed to know about how honest my feelings were for you."

Kara was still confused, "how on earth does you punching Alex, show her that you love me?"

"Love, think about it. You love Alex, right?"

"Of course, she is my sister."

"And you value her opinion and want her to be proud of you and your work right?"

"Yeah, so what?"

"Darling, when I punched Alex for stepping out of line in talking about you, I showed her where my loyalties lied. I wasn't going to let her anger and self-righteous bullshit cloud my love for you. I love you so profoundly that I was willing to risk our relationship by punching the person you love most in this world. If I had let her comments go, she never would've trusted that I meant it when I said I loved you. I had to risk it all to show Alex that I was dead serious and was not going anywhere." Kara suddenly understood and she offered Lena quick kiss which caused Alex to pretend to gag.

"Gross, we get it, you love each other and Lena has a mean right hook. Now if you will both excuse me, I am going to go home to my girlfriend and tell her she will be sitting next to mom at the wedding so gear up for questions about when we will get married." Alex stood up to leave and leaned over the couch to kiss Kara on the top of her head.

"Love you little sister."

"I know." Alex smiled as she put on her coat and before she totally walked away she quickly did the same thing to Lena, "love you too weirdo."

"I bet you say that to all the girls who punch you in the face." Alex flipped Lena off as she headed toward the door and Lena had to admit, she was glad that Alex Danvers loved her and Kara enough to support them both at their wedding. And all it took was a right hook to the face.


	8. The Pitfalls of Human History

**I definitely should be studying for my licensing exam, but things have been hard lately and writing this story helps me focus on something else instead of my depression and anxiety. That being said, because things are intense right now some of the writing is as well and this chapter focuses on Kara's struggle to understand some of the darker sides of humanity, mostly through Lena learning about how Kara coped with learning about human history and the terrible things were have done to ourselves throughout history (I was thinking about how a young kid from another planet would try and make peace with learning about the holocaust).**

Lena was standing at the kitchen island leaning against the granite with her head pressed against it. Alex watched in slight amusement as her soon to be sister in law tried in vain to get off this conference call with some important investor who was in France. Alex had come over early to help Lena, Kara and Eliza with sending out the wedding invites. Eliza had come into town the evening before and was staying at the penthouse at Kara and Lena's insistence. Lena had been up early to take the call because of the time difference, but the call was pushing two hours and was now getting dangerous close to pushing Lena's last nerve. Alex had to give credit to Lena though, she managed to run the entire conference call in French despite it having begun at 5am. Lena finally saw her chance to end the phone call and Alex could make out some of her conversation with the limited amount of French she had remembered learning in high school.

Lena shut her laptop gently and made dramatic faces in Alex's direction until she finally ended the call with a quick, "merci beaucoup." When the call was over, both Alex and Eliza clapped for Lena who had to crack a smile.

"That was impressive." Lena shrugged her shoulders at Alex's comment, "just another morning running two businesses."

"You spoke perfect French for 2 hours straight Lena and didn't murder anyone, I would caulk this one up as a W." Lena shook her head as she sat back down next to Eliza.

"Well, murder this early in the day is just bad manners and the French isn't nearly as impressive as it sounds I assure you. You should hear me when I have to do it in German."

"Please, I assume Kara is asleep still cuz if she were awake she'd be all over you after hearing you speak French with the accent and everything." Alex felt a light slap on her arm from her mother. "Alexandra!"

Alex shook her head, "tell me I'm wrong mom. You've seen them when Lena speaks any language other than English. We're considered lucky if Kara waits till they are alone to do something about it." Lena blushed and Eliza rolled her eyes at Alex.

"But seriously, where is Kara anyway?" Lena nodded toward the door to the penthouse, "she got an assignment for an interview and the person asked if they could move up the date from next week to today and you know Kara, she'd bend over backwards to help someone while getting a story." Alex nodded as she began to put return address stamps on the invite envelopes.

"What's the interview for? Kara might not mind moving things up, but I can't imagine her boss is happy with that."

"Technically I am her boss, so that good news for her, but even the editor wouldn't sneeze at the chance to get this interview. They have been trying to balance the stories for CatCo and have some real journalism and this is them trying to break through."

"Who is Kara interviewing then? This doesn't sound like it's a celebrity puff piece." Lena shook her head, "you're right. She is interviewing a Holocaust survivor and their family. I guess the woman was a little girl when her family was forced into the camps. Kara said she has an amazing story about the whole thing." Lena was not paying attention to Alex and Eliza's face when she said who the person was and was only shook from her focus when she handed the final guest list to Alex and was met with no hand in which to place the paper. Lena looked up and saw mother and daughter looking at each other carefully, almost asking who was gonna bite the bullet.

"What's wrong?" Lena took her reading glasses off and waited for either woman to answer her. Finally, Alex did.

"Did Kara seem ok when she left the house?"

"She was anxious to meet this woman face to face since they had only ever spoken over the phone, but otherwise she was eager to meet her so that this woman's story could be told and reach more people because of the exposure it would get in CatCo. Why?"

"You've seen how Kara responds to human tragedy Lena and you've seen how confused and upset she gets when she learns things from history that show humans hurting each other for no reason. It's like you can actually see her actively losing faith in humanity when she learns about things."

Lena nodded: she knew exactly what Alex was trying to say. There were times Lena would come from work late and find Kara on the couch sobbing because she had watched the wrong movie on TV or left the history channel on too long. Kara always insisted it helped her learn more about Earth and human life, but Lena always cautioned her that much like her home world, Earth had its moments of darkness and they were often senseless and fueled by hate, something that Kara never understood.

"She seemed eager to prove herself Alex. I can't tell her not to go do her job just because it might make her sad."

"No, I know that. But, for obvious reasons, Kara is very easily overwhelmed when it comes to this part of history in particular. Growing up, it was probably the hardest thing she ever had to learn about in school and she had to pretend that it didn't kill her inside to hear about it. You and I grew up with it as a part of our history that we knew about, but to Kara, every single bad thing that happened was new and fresh and I'll never forget the response she had to it when she first learned about it." Lena never pushed Kara too hard on this topic, relating to how Kara coped with learning about the harsh realities of human life and history.

"What happened?" Alex looked at Eliza who took over for a bit, briefly explaining.

"The girls came home from school one day and Kara was inconsolable. The school focused on the lead up to the war, Hitler's rise to power, the Holocaust itself and the aftermath of it and it was a roughly 2 week lesson plan which ended in them going on an overnight fieldtrip to the museum in DC. It took all of us the rest of the night to calm her down and she was so desperate for me to give her a good reason why people knew something so tragic was happening and chose to do nothing. If there is one thing Kara can't stand more than human cruelty, it is indifference toward the suffering of others." Lena nodded in agreement: that was the hill Kara was always willing to die on.

"We managed to calm her down, but God I don't think I can remember a time where she was more depressed than that period of time. We begged her to take the alternative assignment that was offered as an option if students couldn't go on the fieldtrip. The exchange was the student would be asked to read a personal memoir of someone who had survived the holocaust and essentially do an in-depth report on the book, the story and tie it in with the history they had just learned. Kara considered it, but ultimately chose to go with Alex on the trip. She told me that all these people had suffered and the very least she could do was be strong enough to hear their stories and bear witness to what happened to them, even though she knew she had no way of changing the outcome. Reading the books just did not feel like enough for her." Lena smiled sadly because she could imagine a teenage Kara trying to uphold her values of integrity and justice in the face of something that had happened years before she was born.

"Did she go on the trip? I can't imagine that was easy for anyone, but with her powers, I'm sure she heard a lot of people struggling when they went through the museum."

Alex ran her hand through her hair and sighed, "yeah. She did better than I thought she would do. She put on her brave face, you know the stone cold stare she gets when she is trying not to cry or someone has hurt her feelings and she refuses to show it?" Lena nodded: she had seen Kara make exactly that face many time over the years, mostly when defending Lena's character to other people.

"I told her to stay with me and my friends in the museum so she wouldn't be alone, but she begged me to go alone, or at least not be right by my side. I told her ok, but to call for me if she changed her mind. She stayed a few exhibits ahead of me most of the day, so I never lost sight of her, but she had her space to experience it without me babysitting her. When you get to the last floor it is all focused on the Final Solution and it ends with you being able to sit in a theater watching and listening to testimonials of survivors. My friends and I sat inside for maybe 20 minutes before they left to meet the larger group outside. Kara was sitting about 6 rows in front of me and I went and sat down next to her, figuring she had had hours on her own. She had tears in her eyes, but was trying so hard to hold it together. After a few more minutes she nodded to the door and we left the theater. We walked slowly out of the museum to meet up with the other students. We were given an hour to get something to eat before we needed to be back on the bus to go to the hotel we were staying at overnight. I grabbed Kara's hand and told her we were going somewhere and didn't give her the chance to say anything about it. I asked her what she wanted to eat, she said she wasn't hungry, which was not possible, so I knew she was upset more than she could communicate. I pushed her to talk to me and she just broke down crying on this bench like a block from the museum. I let her cry and eventually she looked up and asked me why humans choose to remember Hitler's name, but doesn't seem to care much about the people he slaughtered? We went back and forth and eventually it was clear that she was upset for the obvious reasons, but her brain was telling her to find something good in this sea of pain and to her that meant finding the stories, the names of people who survived. She told me, 'I want to hear the voices of the people who saw all the bad things, lived through them and somehow survived. I want to see their stories. I want to remember their names." Lena brushed away stray tears, once again envisioning a teenage version of her fiancée demanding that the people who suffered the greatest be given the largest platform from which to share their harrowing story of survival at the hands of unspeakable evil.

"What did you do? I can't imagine Kara was any easier to negotiate with when she was upset as a teenager." Alex smiled and nodded, "right you are. I told her I would find her what she asked for, but then she needed to eat something and take care of herself. She agreed, so I took her to the closest bookstore I could find and I asked someone for help and they found all the books I asked for and I quickly handed them to Kara. I told her there were other stories, but these were all written by people who were in the camps, these were the stories she wanted to hear."

Lena thought about it for a moment wondering what better known books Alex might have suggested to her sister.

"Let me guess, Anne Frank's diary and I am guessing Night." Alex nodded and then pointed to the bookshelf in the parlor where Kara put some of her books that she wanted to keep when she moved in with Lena, but that she does not often read. "On that shelf should be a very thin book that is probably so worn you can't see the words on the cover or the binding." Lena went over and sure enough there was a book matching Alex's description. Lena had never noticed it and she couldn't remember a time seeing Kara reading it.

"Man's Search For Meaning." Alex nodded, "For the first time in my life I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers. The truth- that Love is the ultimate and highest goal to which man can aspire. Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through love and in love." Alex seemed rather proud of herself for remembering that quote that Kara had always loved. Lena stopped being surprised by how much Alex and Kara loved each other a long time ago, but sometimes the federal agent surprised her by upping the ante.

"She read that book so much growing up I had to replace it twice, but she refused to throw that copy you are holding away. He taps into the flaws of human beings, but somehow ends up with the theory that all human life is capable of being saved with love and through loving. I know she always had a heart of gold, but as far as I am concerned, that book is the reason that Kara is Kara." Lena had to agree that from what Alex said the book offered Kara a reason to not lose faith in humans, which ultimately was all the teenager wanted. Lena returned to the table, no longer interested in pretending to get work done in terms of the wedding invites.

"And what was her response to the other books?" Alex smiled sadly at the memory.

"We shared a hotel room that night before we came back home. I woke up in the middle of the night and looked around the room, no Kara. I found her in the bathroom reading Anne Frank's diary while sitting in the empty bathtub. I asked her why she was reading it normal speed and not using her powers and she got sort of pissed at me, saying that these people deserved her full attention, not just her using her powers to make it through it faster. I asked her if she wanted me to leave her alone and she shook her head no, so I sat down on the bathmat. I didn't say anything, I just waited till she was ready to talk. She eventually put the book down and looked at me saying, 'I know she dies'. I nodded and stayed quiet. Kara looked at the cover of the book for a while before she said anything else to me."

_She was so young Alex._

_She was. She was about your age when she died._

_No one should die that young. Especially not alone._

Alex seemed a little lost in the memory as she explained Kara's musings of dying young and alone. Eliza touched Alex's hand gently to bring her back into the present moment. Alex cleared her throat and continued, "anyway, I didn't know what to tell her to make her feel better so I told her that she did die young, but she wasn't alone. She asked me who was with her."

Lena could venture a guess as to what Alex said to Kara next, but she gently pushed Alex and gave her space to finish her story, "and what did you tell her?"

Alex swallowed a lot of tears, "I told her that when they were in the camps, she was with her big sister through most everything. She asked if her sister survived and I told her no, they died within a few days of each other. Of course, I said that and she looked at me with these tear-filled eyes and just whispered 'I don't want to die alone, Alex'. She broke down crying harder, I climbed in the bathtub with her and let her cry. Then I promised her that I would never let her die alone. And that night we slept in the bathtub because she wouldn't let go of me." Alex was tracing the wedding invite in front of her to distract herself and while Lena knew it wasn't the healthiest response she got up from the table and returned holding one of her nicer bottles of whiskey. She poured out three tumblers of the liquid and put on in front of Alex before handing one to Eliza and keeping one for herself.

Alex drank half her drink in one shot, which seemed to allow her to shake off the complete heaviness of their conversation. Lena also drank far more than she normally did, ignoring also the time of day and nursed her drink before getting Alex's attention.

"Alex, you did the best you could with a situation that was never going to end happily. You did the only thing Kara needed, you were there for her when she fell apart and you offered her something real to comfort herself with. And you kept your promise, she isn't going to die alone and certainly not anytime soon if I have any say in it." Lena finished her drink and Alex had to crack a slight smile.

"Gonna find a way to make her live forever are you Lena?"

"Not forever, but I'll be damned if she leaves this earth without me." Alex had to smile, if for no other reason, Lena was right: Alex's promise had been kept and Kara was never going to leave this earth alone, because Lena Luthor wouldn't stand for it.

The silence that had settled over them was broken when Lena's phone rang and she smiled when she saw it was Kara.

"Hi love, how goes the interview?" Alex and Eliza couldn't hear the rest of the conversation, but Lena nodded and smiled as Kara spoke. "Ok, should we order something in or would you like something home cooked? I do believe I caught Eliza eyeing our new stove so I bet she would be happy to help us cook something for dinner." Lena smiled at Eliza who was not at all trying to hide the fact that Lena was not incorrect.

"Kara, I know you aren't hungry right now, but you will need to eat something by the time you get home." Lena glanced over at Alex who was not surprised that her sister was already pushing food away. "I know love. It's going to be ok Kara. I tell you what, how about we surprise you with dinner and you just come home when you are done? You can shower and relax and then we can have food whenever." Lena seemed sad that she had to bargain with Kara this much to eat.

"Ok. I love you too dearest. Bye." Lena gently put her phone down and looked over at Alex. "Something tells me buying her books isn't going to help this." Alex shook her head.

"Probably not, but for what it is worth, me buying her books helped her not give up on humans totally, but it wasn't what made her feel any better."

"What do you mean?" Eliza seemed to remember what Alex was referring to.

"When the girls were young, we had a neighbor up the road from us about a mile who had a couple of dogs. Kara LOVED those dogs. She would go over there and run with them outside, throw toys for them. Hell, the dogs ran out of energy sooner than Kara ever did so our neighbor loved it when Kara came by. When the girls got back from their trip, Kara went straight to their house and for weeks afterwards our neighbor would call us to let us know Kara had showed up and not to panic. They let her play with the dogs and by the time she came home she was in a better place mentally. Not happy exactly, but no tears and she would sleep with no nightmares." Lena was heartened by what Eliza said, but then she became concerned.

"Wait, are you telling me that I have to adopt a dog in order to make my wife not depressed by the awful things humans do to each other?" Eliza and Alex both laughed and Alex couldn't resist giving Lena a hard time.

"First of all, you slipping the word wife into conversations is adorable because it is SO clear you just like the way it sounds. Second, no one said you had to get a dog, just that animals calm Kara down and make her feel more grounded. So, slip you neighbors 20 bucks and ask if Kara can play with their dogs every now and then." Lena blushed at Alex's comment, but then she thought about it more. There were dogs in their building and Kara was of course friendly with all of them, but Lena wanted Kara to feel as though she had that source of comfort whenever it was needed. Lena began typing things into her phone and Alex eyed her carefully, but ultimately all three women returned to the invitation work they had set out to do that day. Alex eventually had to go into work for a while and told Lena to call if they needed anything when Kara returned. Kara managed to come home around 2pm and she tried her best to appear like everything was fine when she walked in the door and was greeted with the image of her fiancé and foster mother sitting on the couch yelling at the TV as they watched a cooking show.

"Her buttercream just split and if she serves that there is no way she can win this challenge." Eliza gestured wildly to the TV and Lena nodded her head, but then pointed to the other side of the screen. "Yeah, by that guy's cake didn't cook evenly so it is likely raw in the middle and they can't judge what they can't eat." Kara managed to crack a smile because this was what seemed to bond Lean and Eliza, other than their love for Kara. Their insane love of baking shows and cooking competitions always ended up sounding like the Super Bowl was happening. Lena turned around when the door shut behind Kara and smiled when Kara leaned over the couch top and offered Lena a kiss.

"Hey love, you snuck in on us." Kara smiled as she shed her coat and joined them on the couch. "I didn't want to disrupt the hot debate you two had going on." Lena lowered the volume and snuggled into Kara gently.

"How are you doing? That was a long day at work."

"I'm tired." That was all Kara could put her finger on and Lena didn't push her. Instead she stood up and pulled Kara with her. "Well, I do have a surprise for you, but we have to go somewhere to get it. Think you are up for that?" Kara looked so defeated when Lena got a better look at her and she realized how much Kara needed this boost.

"I don't know Lena. I kind of want to shower and lay face first in bed for a few hours and then maybe eat dinner, maybe." Lena nodded, "if that is what you want, then that's what we will do, we can go get the surprise another time." Lena meant it, but she also knew that even in her worst mood, Kara was like a kid on Christmas with good news: she couldn't help herself but be curious.

Kara shifted her weight back and forth on her feet, "would we be able to pick up dinner on the way home from getting this surprise?"

"Anywhere you want." Kara smiled and went to put her coat back on. Eliza opted to come with them so Lena called them all a car and once they got inside it was a relatively short drive to their destination. Lena got out of the car and held out her hand for Kara who looked around very confused.

"Is there a reason we are downtown and yet nowhere near my office or yours?" Lena smiled and stood behind Kara, guiding her to look across the street, "we are here to give you so much needed animal therapy." Across the street from where the car was parked was one of the larger animal shelters that National City had. Lena felt Kara's body perk up at the thought of being able to play with any animal and she had to remind Kara that she couldn't just bolt across the street. Eliza was pleasantly surprised when Kara's disposition perked up significantly.

The women walked into the shelter which was fairly quiet at the time and were greeted by a volunteer.

"Good afternoon Ms. Luthor, we have everything set up for you if you ladies will follow me." Kara followed the volunteer back into an area where there was a large lay out of toys and things for the dogs to climb on and play with when they had time out of their kennels. They put their things on a table nearby so the animals didn't start chewing on things that were valuable. Kara was positively vibrating and Lean kept having to pull Kara close to her to calm her body down and it was adorable. Another person who worked at the shelter came into the room and shook Lena's hand.

"Kara, this is Rachel, she and I spoke on the phone earlier and she agreed to have us come in to meet some dogs." Kara shook the other woman's hand and Eliza introduced herself as well.

"Well, we have a couple of dogs for you to meet and we've found it best to let the person into the play pen area and then let the dogs come to them. That way everyone is comfortable and the animals get a chance to practice being social with each other and other humans. Any questions?" Lena shook her head no and they were led into the enclosed area. Kara, being Kara, went over to the wall opposite where they had been standing and just sat down on the floor. Lena and Eliza opted for some chairs that were nearby.

"We will bring in about 6 dogs all total." Lena nodded and quickly there were a few volunteers who came in with two dogs each and one by one they were let off their leash and to absolutely no ones surprise they made a beeline for Kara. Lena couldn't help but smile and even tear up as she watched Kara's face light up as she played and pet the dogs that were so interested in her. A few minutes in, the woman that had showed them in came into the pen with one more dog on a leash. Lena looked at the dog and her heart broke a little: the dog looked to be a husky of some kind, was clearly young and looked absolutely terrified to be standing there.

"Ms. Luthor you had asked on the phone if we had any dogs that had been with us a while so I wanted to bring this little one out to meet you and your wife." Lena smiled and held out her hand for the dog who at first back away, which made Lena's chest feel tight, but she kept her hand there and spoke softly to the dog, "hey sweetheart, it's ok, I know there is just so much happening in here isn't there?" The dog eventually looked up at Lena and Lena was floored: the dogs had eyes that were somehow bluer than Kara's. The dog sniffed Lena's hand and eventually let Lean offer head pets and scratch behind their ears.

"Should I let you wife saw hello?" Lena smiled, "please." Rachel walked over to Kara and the hero looked up to see the new dog who seemed so much more fearful than the others approaching her. Kara gently moved two of the dogs that were on her lap just off to the side so the new dog could come closer.

"I was telling your wife that this little girl has been with us for a while and while a lot of people look her over because of her breed and her slow approach to people, she is the sweetest dog." Kara beamed at the dog, even though she seemed scared to come closer to Kara. Kara waited with her hand held out to the dog.

"Does she have a name?" The woman smiled, "the younger volunteers named her Elsa, cuz of the eyes and apparently I hired a lot of people who love Frozen." Kara smiled and whispered to the dog just like Lena had and when some of the other dog moved away, the dog went over to Kara and let her offer her pets. Rachel left Kara with the leash and returned to where Lean was sitting. All three women watched as the dog got closer and closer to Kara until she was in her lap, licking Kara's face. Lena pointed to the dog, "how long have you had her?"

"About a year. She is the sweetest dog and she loves people, but she wasn't in the most loving home. We don't know exactly what happened to her, but she is more afraid of men than women, but she just becomes shy, not aggressive. She is good with other dogs once she gets used to them. My hope is that in a real home, her anxiety will go down and she can enjoy being a puppy again, because she is the most living dog. Something your wife is already noticing I see." Lena looked back to Kara to see the dog was snuggled into Kara chest and was enjoying getting belly rubs while the blonde rocked her. Lena knew she had to be careful, because if given the choice Kara would likely take all the dogs home.

"And she is available for adoption?" Rachel nodded, "yep, she got a clean bill of health last week, she is spayed already and had the shots she needs as a young dog. Even got a bath and her teeth cleaned recently. A lot of people have passed on her because her breed sheds a lot and some people can't handle that they would have dog hair on things. It's not for everybody." Lena thought about the hell it would be trying to keep dog hair off her more expensive clothes, but then she looked again at Kara who had her face so close to the dog's and they were just sitting there touching foreheads and Kara looked so peaceful and the puppy in her lap seemed to be quite happy staying there. All of a sudden, Lena didn't care about her clothes and getting dog hair on them. She walked over to Kara and the puppy perked up having recognized Lena's smell from moments earlier.

"I think you found a new friend darling." Kara looked at Lena and couldn't help but beam. "She's a good girl. Aren't you? And you are such a pretty girl and you just want snuggles huh? Just snuggles." Lena was floored at how quickly Kara's mood had changed since she had arrived home and Lean realized that maybe this was something both women needed at home.

"What would you think about her getting all the snuggles she wants at our house?" Kara slowed her hands on the dog, almost as if she didn't think she heard Lena right. She looked up at Lena with watery eyes, "like, forever? Coming home with us for good?" Lena smiled and nodded, "yes dearest, for good." Lena barely got the words out before Kara kissed her hard, something the dog in between them wanted to get in on and she went back and forth kissing Kara and then Lena.

"Well, I think we have her vote too. So, what do you think? I go fill out the paperwork and you can start thinking of all the things we need for her at the pet store?" Kara nodded and seemed so blown away by what was happening.

"But, we aren't adopting a dog every time one of us is struggling, ok? Otherwise we will end up with a wolf pack." Kara agreed as Lena walked away and while Lena filled out the forms. Eliza was standing near Kara and taking pictures. She clearly sent one to Alex because Lena's phone buzzed as she filled out paperwork and the text was in all caps.

"_**OF COURSE YOU BOUGHT HER A DOG. AND FOUND THE ONE DOG WITH EYES MORE BLUE THAN KARA'S. HOW DO YOU PLAN ON SAYING NO TO THIS DOG WHEN YOU CAN'T EVEN SAY NO TO MY SISTER?"**_

Lena finished the forms and once they had everything they needed the volunteer handed a new leash to Kara who quickly clipped it onto the puppy's collar. The dog seemed to instantly look sad again, understanding that usually this meant she was going back to her kennel. Kara saw this and knelt down, so she was on the same level as the dog.

"It's ok pretty girl, we are gonna go home. You wanna come home with us? Try and steal Lena's spot on the bed?" The puppy perked up slightly and while she still wasn't sure she followed Kara as she walked toward the door. Once outside Kara acted like she had pounded 3 red bulls with all the energy she had as she walked to the car with Lena and Eliza a few paces behind her.

"You know how much trouble you are in now right? That is a whole lot of blue eyes in your house to try and say no to." Lena smiled at Eliza's comment as it mirrored Alex's.

"Maybe I like being a bit of a pushover at home. I certainly can't say it will be a bad way to come home after a long day. I will either get greeted at the door by my wife or my dog, very eager to give me kisses. There are worse things." Eliza smiled as Kara got in the car with the dog, followed by Lena and herself. They made a quick stop at the store to get supplies they would need to start off with, which then led to Kara buying any toy she thought was cute. When Kara finally admitted to being hungry Lena quickly made the purchases while Eliza called in an order for dinner to be delivered shortly after they returned home.

Once home and upstairs with all their things, Eliza went to go change before food arrived, leaving Kara and Lena to get the puppy settled.

"Lena, do you want to change her name or keep the one she had at the shelter?" Kara poured food into the bowl before walking it over to the spot they had set up for a food dish and water bowl. Kara waited and gave a general command for the dog to sit, and to Lena's great surprise she did: waiting patiently until Kara had set the food bowl down on the mat and told her to take it.

"How did you get her to listen to you? We just brought her home and they have only done basic skills with them at the shelter." Kara shrugged her shoulders and smiled, "she's a smart dog Lena. Aren't you Elsa?" The dog perked up and quickly returned to her food which she ate at a speed that rivaled Kara.

"Well, I guess that settles the name debate. Unless you actually want to call her something else." Kara thought about it and shook her head. "I think it suits her. Besides, we like Frozen too." Lena rolled her eyes because against her will was she mad to like and become obsessed with those films. Something she blamed Kara for entirely. Lena stood next to Kara as they watch the dog investigate her new house.

"You know we can talk about what you were feeling when you came home. I didn't call the shelter to ignore your feelings. Eliza and Alex both said animals helped you cope as a kid and I figured we could try it. I just didn't want you feeling like you didn't have a safe place to come home to after difficult days."

"Hey, I always feel safe with you. You know that." Lena nodded, "I know. But you have days when you struggle and it is hard for you to tell me what's wrong and I have those days myself. With Elsa in the house, we both have someone to cuddle until we calm down enough to share our feelings with each other." Kara nodded and offered Lena a quick kiss as they followed the dog into their room. Lena had sectioned off the closet in an effort to not give the puppy access to expensive outfits and shoes, but while she did that Kara was laughing. Lena turned around to see the puppy making herself very much at home…on Lena's side of the bed.

"You just had to tell her that we were coming home so she could steal my spot on the bed." Kara was laughing way harder than she had any right to and Lena rolled her eyes before rubbing her hand gently over the puppy's head and kissing the crown of her head.

"Thief." Lena smirked as she heard the door buzzer, signaling food. A noise that had both the dog and Kara running from the bedroom to answer the door. Lena shook her head and had to laugh, "I am in so much trouble."


	9. We Can, We Will, We Must

After spending the weekend enjoying some time at home with just Kara and their new dog, Lena was hesitant to return to work, fearing that leaving a new puppy alone in the penthouse would end in disaster. Kara offered to take a few days off, but Lena wouldn't hear of it: Kara had spent her time over the weekend working on the article to accompany the interview she had done days before. Kara would wait until Lena had fallen asleep and would sneak into the office or the kitchen and work on her article, all the while assuming Lena had slept through her leaving the bedroom. What Kara never seemed to notice was that Lena woke up almost instantly when the hero left the room. Before Elsa came to live with them, just the hero's body heat not being near Lena would make her realize Kara was not there. Now that the puppy was in the house, Kara leaving the room was even more apparent because no matter how hard Kara tried to get the dog to stay in bed with Lena, she followed Kara out of the room every night during the weekend. Lena always tried to go back to sleep, but she would always quickly slip out of bed and go looking for Kara. One night she found her in the kitchen, the other she found her in the office. In either position, Elsa was curled up at Kara's feet, usually laying directly on top of them, leaving Kara to type feverishly as she went back and forth between her notes and audio recordings. Lena never called attention to herself and either Kara was too focused to notice Lena's heartbeat or she simply didn't call attention to the CEO, but in any case, she never looked up from her work. A few hours later, Lena would feel Kara crawl back into bed, immediately wrapping her arms around Lena and pulling her close, leaving the dog to settle at their feet. Lena knew that Kara had pressure to have her work done and submitted by Sunday at midnight so that CatCo could run the interview and article with the next edition that was being printed Thursday night in an effort for it to be out Friday.

All that to say, Kara had been busting her ass to get the work done and she was needed at the office to handle things going to print, the release etc. Lena thought about it for a while and ultimately decided that Elsa would simply come to the office with her. Lena figured what good was it being the boss if you couldn't do as you pleased with what you did within your office. Having the puppy around would allow Lena to have a ready excuse to get out of her office several times a day, something Kara always worried about. Lena also felt better knowing that she would have some company in her office on days she worked late. Monday morning found both women leaving the penthouse early: Kara trying to get in early to begin handling things around the article and Lena wanting to get the dog settled before her meeting at 9am. Once at the office, Lena set up Elsa's dog bed underneath her desk since that seemed to be the dog's preferred spot when she sat with Kara. With the dog's food and water tucked in the corner of her office, Lena set about preparing for her meeting, finding it rather pleasant to feel the warmth and weight of the puppy who was somehow laying across Lena's feet while keeping some of her body on the soft bed. Roughly 30 minutes before her meeting, Lena's assistant knocked on her door, temporarily snapping the CEO out of her focus.

Jess entered the room and noticed the dog under the desk almost immediately, "Good morning Ms. Luthor. Did we hire a new employee?" Lena looked down at her feet to see Elsa had perked up when someone new came in and she seemed interested in investigating, though she stayed with Lena, not quite brave enough to meet a new person.

"L Corp is a growing business Jess, I have to constantly hire new employees. I think this one will fit in quite nicely here in the office with us, don't you think? What with how often we have safety issues, I can never have too large of a security team." Lena smiled and leaned down to scratch Elsa's ear, something that caused the puppy to sit up and want more attention.

"Looks like she is already pretty happy. Well, I will let you get back to talking things over with your new security detail, but you had asked for the advanced print of the CatCo publication and they delivered it as I was walking in the door." Jess handed the papers, along with some other things Lena always asked for to her boss, adding a gentle tap on the top of the pile of papers.

"Full disclosure, Ms. Luthor. I read the article that Ms. Danvers wrote, which is why I assume you asked for the advanced copy." Lena cocked her eyebrow in her signature style, but smiled, "and, what did you think?"

"I mean this sincerely Ms. Luthor, I am not just saying it because you are my boss. If Ms. Danvers doesn't win another Pulitzer for this piece, we should all give up on journalism, as a whole, because it just doesn't get better than this. This kind of work is what that award was meant to honor and celebrate." Lena smiled as she put the advance print on her desk.

"She worked so hard this weekend on it so that it would make this publication and not have to wait for the next one. I asked her if I could read it and she said not till it was done, so I asked her if I got the early copy could I read it and that she agreed to. She's isn't usually this secretive about her work."

"If I may, Ms. Luthor, I think it will be worth the wait. It's a bit of a departure from Ms. Danvers' usual work." Lena had to smile a little at how cautious Jess was about talking about Kara.

"Jess, we've covered this before and I know for a fact Kara told you to drop the Ms. Danvers thing and use her name. Hell, I've begged you to use my first name and you have worked for me for long enough to know that I mean it." The assistant blushed and smiled, "feels a bit foreign Ms. Luthor." Lena reached into her purse and found what she was looking for, handing it out for Jess to take.

"Well, either you call me Lena or I will simply see if someone else would like this invitation to our wedding." Lena winked at the other woman who all but lunged for the envelope. Jess beamed as she opened it.

"You didn't have to invite me Lena." Lena laughed, "so it took me getting married to get you to use my name, interesting. And you are correct, I didn't have to, I wanted to. You have proven yourself to be both good at your job and loyal to me, which let's be honest, I am not used to someone being both of those things. Kara and I want the ceremony small since I have no family to speak of and her circle of friends and family is strong, but not exactly large. Plus, if the press catches wind of this, we'll never get married without a camera being shoved in our face every 30 feet."

"Well, in that case I would be very happy to attend." Lena smiled, "good, we will let people know the location closer to the date. For safety reasons. we didn't put it on the invite, just the day. Travel to the location will be provided so honestly, just show up in some kind outfit you don't mind dancing in and don't worry about the details."

"If I may Lena?" Lena nodded her head encouraging Jess to continue, "someone would have to be rather stupid or suicidal to disrupt a wedding being attended by the Girl of Steel." Lena's pupils dilated and she did absolutely nothing to hide her surprise response.

"What makes you think Supergirl will be at my wedding?" Jess smirked, "oh, are we pretending I don't know still? I can do that, but in case you ever want to drop the act, well, you know where my desk is." Lena hit a button on her computer that closed the door to her office and sealed it, something Kara insisted on when Lena mentioned not always being able to reach her panic room when things happened at the office.

"Jess, it is very important that you…" Jess waved her hand in front of Lena, "message received Lena, trust me. I like Kara very much, she has always been very kind to me, kinder than most people ever are. Maybe that's because of her past being an assistant to Cat Grant and knowing what it is like working for a powerful woman or maybe she is just a nice person to her core. Either way, I have no interest in causing her stress or harm and since she cares very much about Supergirl, I see no reason to worry about it further. For what it is worth, I am more interested in being friends with Kara Danvers. No offense to National City's hero."

Lena was touched, though not surprised, "it is a big thing for my wife to be seen as she is Jess."

Jess nodded, "as I said Lena, Kara is always and has always been kinder to me than most people. I firmly believe that part of that comes from knowing all too well what it is like to be the type of woman that the world forgets about. Kara never forgets about anyone, it is the very least I can do to return the kindness and never see her as anything less than she is." Lena was a little stunned, not because she didn't know Jess was bright or articulate, but because she was always surprised when other people saw Kara in the same way she did. During this exchange, Elsa had trotted over to Jess and had sat down, waiting for attention from the other woman. Lena watched as Jess knelt down and happily offered the dog attention, finally seeing the dog's eyes and laughing as she played with her.

"And here we have evidence that Lena Luthor can't say no to blue eyes. You better hope your kids don't have Kara's eyes or you are in deep trouble." Lena felt a surge in her heart when Jess mentioned children, not realizing until that moment just how badly she would like to have at least one child that had Kara's eyes, or any part of her wife. She was shaken from her thoughts when Jess stood up and pointed to the door.

"I should get back to my desk, your 9am should be here shortly. Conference room?" Lena hit the button on her computer again and nodded. Jess left the room and after organizing her paperwork Lena got up from her desk and headed toward the conference room. Before she left her office, Lena pointed to the bed under her desk, "you wait here, in your bed." Elsa looked at Lena with a bright smile and seemed content to just sit there. Lena shook her head and tried to remember the things Kara had told her about giving a dog commands. She pointed again to the spot and in more commanding tone said, "bed". The puppy trotted over to her bed under the desk and settled into it, still grinning like Lena had given her something she wanted.

"Good girl." Lena left the room and was surprised when the dog didn't follow her. Lena asked Jess to check on the dog every now and then to makes sure she wasn't destroying the office. After her morning meetings and conference calls, Lena returned to her office and was again surprised to find her dog fast asleep on her bed underneath the desk. Lena put her things down and went over to the food dish she brought in the office. This of course caught the puppy's attention and she went to see what Lena was doing, "you were so good when I was in my meetings, but I bet you are hungry huh? Let's get you some lunch and go outside ok?" The puppy shifted on her feet, almost vibrating as she watched Lena pour out food. Lena thought it was adorable how excited the dog got and how hard she tried to contain herself. Lena repeated the steps that she and Kara had been using when feeding Elsa at home. When the dog was given the all clear to eat she made quick work of her food and had a healthy drink from her water dish. Lena then quickly put on her leash and the two of them headed toward the elevator.

"Jess, I'm going to take Elsa for a quick walk and let her be outside for a bit. I don't expect Kara because this week is so busy at CatCo, so could you put in an order for lunch and just have it delivered ASAP. I'll eat when I get back." Jess set about putting in Lena's order while Lena managed to get out of the office for a few minutes, both for her and Elsa's benefit. Lena had been right, in that Kara was buried under a mountain of work and barely managed to eat something at her desk, let alone leave and join Lena for lunch. Lena ate while on conference calls and when the last one ended, she told Jess to hold her calls for a while. She then grabbed Kara's article and went over to the couch, all the while being followed by Elsa who waited for Lena to sit down before sitting at Lena's feet and looking pitiful.

"You know I already let you on the bed at home, I shouldn't let you get up on this piece of furniture too." Lena watched the puppy's face fall and soon she was looking at those blue eyes as they pretended to be sad and beg for permission to join Lena on the couch. Lena sighed, "I have to learn to say no to those eyes, but come on." Within a second the puppy had joined Lena on the couch and had curled into her side, happy to be close to her as she worked. Lena thumbed through the other articles and noticed the interview the preceded Kara's article. Lena told herself she would read that portion later, otherwise she would just be a mess of tears in her office. She focused on Kara's article that explained the timeline of the interview as it matched to that of history: explaining when this survivor had experienced different things and how that lined up with other events at the time. Lena got to the last section of the article and it was here that she saw exactly what Jess meant when she insisted that Kara deserved another Pulitzer.

"In modern times, we have the awesome privilege of having at our fingertips the stories of Holocaust survivors, much like the one shared earlier in this interview. And while these testimonies are often difficult to read, as they force us to imagine a time when our fellow man was forced to endure an unprecedented evil, it is still our obligation to bear witness to these stories and to carry them forward with us. In his heartbreaking account of surviving the Holocaust, Elie Wiesel says it simply, 'For the survivor who chooses to testify, it is clear: his duty is to bear witness for the dead and for the living. He has no right to deprive future generations of a past that belongs to our collective memory. To forget would be not only dangerous but offensive; to forget the dead would be akin to killing them a second time.' Yes, these stories are tragic, heartbreaking and often leave us with questions that have no satisfactory answers, but the fact remains, it is our duty to bear that perceived burden or sadness and discomfort and to share it with generations yet to be.

In a time before many of us were likely born, the world made a choice to ignore the suffering of millions of people when these crimes took place and in what I can only describe as our penance, our ancestors left us the inheritance of remembering them and their stories forever. It is, quite literally the very least we could do. We cannot bring these innocent souls back. We cannot rebuild families torn apart by ignorance, hatred, war, greed and power. We cannot shrug our shoulders and claim that none of us were there when it happened, therefore, we should not be the responsible party. To the people who believe the last statement, answer me this: if not us then who? We cannot point the finger at ghosts of leaders long since dead and say, 'blame them not us'. We may not have been alive during this time and even if we were, maybe there was nothing we could do. All the more reason to not thumb our noses at the chance to do something about it now. And if you still wish to deny that this is your burden to carry: I understand, but let me offer you this question to think over. Anne Frank's diary is required reading for most American children by the time they reach the 8th grade. The words of this amazing girl has been held up as a prime example of exactly how hard we failed to stop an evil from ravaging the most innocent among us. Adults put the burden on the words of a child to teach us about this dark moment in history. So, if you are mad because you do not feel as though you should be responsible for remembering this part of history, ask yourselves this: why then are you comfortable placing the awesome burden of this dark truth on the unmarked grave of a child who's life was ended before it ever began?

For many people reading this, you might be confused because of how I am writing this piece. It is not the usual tone I write with and the forcefulness of my words is, if anything, out of character. For obvious reasons, this tone is warranted given the topic of this interview and article, so while it may be out of character, I assure you, it is just as genuine as any other piece I have written. During my day spent with the amazing woman interviewed for this piece, I was gifted with something that few people ever have the chance to do: I was able to speak with someone who survived the hell of concentration camps and despite losing everything she had ever known, had not abandoned hope that life could still be beautiful and that humanity was not so lost it could never be redeemed. During our day together, Victoria, as she insisted I call her, asked me questions about my work, why I was interested in doing this piece, why I wanted it to be in person etc? I shared with her my reasons for all of it, admitting that I felt terrible sharing that I had experienced a significant loss as a child and it took a long time and a lot of people loving me to bring me to a place where I believed that good things far outweigh the bad in life. Her face softened and she asked me why I felt terrible for sharing that with her. I explained that while my loss was painful and profound, it wasn't anything compared to the trauma she and her family experienced when she was a young girl. She shook her head, telling me that she never understood the need of people to compare suffering as though there was a price handed out for the most painful experience. She pointed out, using the words of Alexander Dumas, that only a person who has felt ultimate despair is capable of feeling ultimate bliss.

With her permission, I shared a snapshot of my story. I told her about my parents both dying in a fire when I was 13, finding myself suddenly in a stranger's home and being told these people were now the closest thing I had to family. I told her about my sister who upon meeting me told me that she did not 'need a sister'. I told her about my foster parents who tried so hard to help a kid, who was not theirs by blood, settle into a new home after watching her own go up in flames, carrying her family with it. Of course, then I told her about how my sister, who you'll remember had told me she had no use for me, would let me sleep her bed when I had nightmares. I told her about the times we would break the rules and try to cover for each other only to have my sister catch the blame for us both, something she always handled with a level of maturity I always marveled at. And finally, I told her about how my sister promised me at age 13 that she would makes my nightmares go away, and how every day since then, she has made good on that promise: not once have my nightmares consumed me and I can only assume it is because they knew better than to test my sister's love for me. Victoria smiled as I shared my brief story with her, pointing out that the single most powerful thing that allows those ravaged by trauma to move forward is the love of those who saw them as whole person when they were in fact, incredibly broken. With this in mind: to my sister who didn't 'need' me, thank you for showing up when I needed you.

As our time together was coming to a close, Victoria spoke more like she was having a heart to heart conversation with someone she cared for instead of giving an interview with a journalist. She shared photos from the day the concentration camp she had been held in was liberated, photos from many years later when she married followed closely by several pictures of her with her children, then the photos of her grandchildren. In time, she explained that she always insisted on taking more photos than maybe she needed during any happy event or celebration, offering a somber explanation, 'I left so many friends and most of my family behind when I left that place and the only way I could feel as though I had not abandoned them there was to take photos of the things they never got the chance to see and experience.' Victoria went on to acknowledge that many people she knew who managed to survive the camp, felt similarly: they were all tasked with living such a profoundly lovely life that it would fill the void left in the world by their friends and family who never got the chance. These people who lived through an evil most of us cannot even imagine, challenge themselves to live multiples lives, to be living monuments for the people who were lost. If these survivors could shoulder the burden of living life for millions of people who died having never re-experienced the joy of freedom, then it is not an impossible task for the rest of us to accept the responsibly and burden of remembering this time and never allowing it to be lost to the ages. We have the watch now and it is our responsibility to carry these stories forward, never allowing the truth to be extinguished.

We can. We will. We must.

Just as I was preparing to leave the space we had been occupying all day, Victoria reached out and asked for my hand. As she held it, she asked me if I ever was given the chance to give my parents a proper burial after the died in the fire. I told her no: I was placed with my family soon after their deaths and as a teenager I did not have the resources to request they been given a proper final resting place. I also gently pointed out to her that the fire was so absolute that there was nothing for me to have actually buried except for their ashes. She nodded her head and offered me a sad smile, telling me that most of her friends and family had been buried in mass graves at the camp and that given the circumstances, the timing and her age when they died, she also was not given the chance to bury her parents until she was a parent herself. I am not ashamed to say that I had no response to that other than to cry upon hearing this woman admit that she too was robbed of a chance to mourn and bury her parents: a responsibility that no child wants and yet a level of closure that every child deserves. I tried, unsuccessfully, to hide my tears and was lovingly scolded for doing so. Victoria was quiet for a moment before she tapped my hand, getting my attention as she asked me, 'the fire your parents died in, you saw it?'

I nodded, explaining that my parents died making sure I was safe from the fire.

She then told me that her parents both died in the gas chambers, but at separate times. 'The men were kept separate from the women and children my age were separated from their parents, so while I did not watch them march to their deaths, I felt the ache in my heart when they both left this world as smoke'. I opened my mouth to apologize, for what, I still am not sure, but I never got the chance because Victoria continued.

'My parents left this world as smoke and I watched them leave. Your parents left this world as smoke and you watched them leave. Perhaps though, we can think of it this way: maybe the people who gave us life found each other and offered each other a sense of peace despite the violent way they left this world. Maybe my parents knew that your parents left behind a special child, a little girl who would be able to hear their child's story and offer her a dignified way of sharing it, of reclaiming the voice of her family that had been silenced for generations. I choose to see this as our parents, all four of them, deciding to bring two little girls, born generations apart, together, giving them both a chance to remember their parents as people, not as smoke.'

My response to this stunningly beautiful way of thinking about how Victoria and I had come to this place and time left me speechless and with more tears in my eyes than before. I nodded my head furiously and fumbled with my glasses, not knowing what else to do with my shaking hands. She smiled, brushing a few tears from her own eyes. As I walk Victoria and her granddaughter to their car she is quiet and for perhaps the first time in my life, I am at a true loss for words. I felt like if I spoke right then, I would ruin the image she painted and I could not bring myself to do that. I offered her granddaughter a hug before she climbed into the driver's seat, then I turned back to Victoria. I managed to thank her for her time, her openness and her willingness to share difficult stories as well as ones of hope. She hugged me tightly and as she pulled away and she held on to me, not yet letting go of my arms. She thanked me profusely and before I could assure her that it was an honor I won't ever forget she looked me directly in the eyes and told me something I was not prepared to hear and that will forever be cemented in my memory.

'For many years, I was angry at the people who took my parents from me, then I was mad at my parents for leaving. I spent years trying to forgive them for dying, strange as it may sound. At a certain point, I just assumed that I would never be able to forgive them for dying, for leaving me. Then I met you and this ability to tell my story to someone other than my family seems to have been what I needed all these years. So, thank you Kara, because I never thought I'd be able to forgive them, and today, that is exactly what I have done.' This time I didn't even try to respond: there is nothing you can say when someone tells you this. I hugged her again, tighter this time, trying to keep the more intense tears for another time. As she hugged me back, she whispered in my ear, 'it is ok to forgive them Kara, it's ok to forgive yourself too'.

That did it.

Holding back the tears was no longer possible and honestly, if I had, I don't know how I would've felt about it. Instead, I cried. I cried in the arms of a woman who has every right to never forgive anyone for anything and yet here she was, giving me permission to forgive my parents for dying and to forgive myself for the responsibility I had unconsciously carried with me since the day they died. I waved goodbye to them and watched their car leave the parking garage and as soon as it was out of sight I quickly got into my car and lost it. I don't know exactly how long I cried for, but when I ran out of tears I felt different. Tired for sure, but more than that I felt, different. Later that night, as I laid in bed, I looked at my girlfriend asleep next to me and our dog all but pushing her off the bed and stealing her spot. I enjoyed the love and warmth I felt in my home, shut my eyes and just as I was about to fall asleep it hit me. I felt different for a reason. I had finally forgiven my parents.

I forgave my parents when a perfect stranger told me it was ok to do so.

I still stand by what I said in the beginning of this article. It is our collective responsibility to remember this moment from history and tell it to new generations, least they ever attempt to repeat our mistake. However, in the midst of all the hard work we have laid out before us in this regard, I offer each and every one of you this: it is ok to forgive yourself, so long as you remember, in the end, the survivor gets to tell the story."

Lena let her wrist go slack and the magazine copy fell in her lap. Lena stopped crying to brush the tears away and was by now just full on crying. This of course caused distress for the puppy in her lap who was trying to refocus her owner and soothe this pain. Lena finally wrapped her arms around the puppy and was glad to have to connection. She focused on Elsa's fur and petting her, anything to ground her in this moment. When the intense tears had faded, Lena was quiet and was still snuggling with the dog when Jess appeared in the doorway.

"I told you it was different than what she usually writes Lena. Are you alright?" Lena shrugged her shoulders, "I don't honestly know. Kara, does not like talking about this topic much for obvious reasons. Then to have her talk about her parents and blaming herself for things. I just…I wish this was something I could fix and I can't."

Jess nodded, "you can, however, go home for the day."

"I have a 3pm." Jess shook her head, "not anymore you don't I canceled it at 11am. I knew you wouldn't be ok after you read the article." Lena opened her mouth to argue and Jess again waved her hand, "Lena save it. You just read a really heavy things that the woman you love more than anything wrote, knowing that she was hurting while she wrote it. It's beautiful Lena and the interview is stunning. Kara did this beautifully, but that doesn't mean it isn't hard to read those things and know that you wife is holding pain in her heart cuz she thinks on some level she deserve it. So, please, just go home." Lena would've argued, but she didn't. Instead she nodded, allowing Jess to leave the room as she gathered her things to go home. Elsa waited on the couch until Lena called her to her so she could get her leash on.

"Hey pretty girl, you ready to go home?" The puppy quickly followed Lena out into the area near Jess' desk.

"I'll be in around 8am tomorrow ok Jess, then I can finish things before my 9am."

"Goodnight Lena. Night Elsa." The puppy barked and Lena had to laugh: of course her dog would have a personality that rivaled Kara's sun shine demeanor.


	10. What We Are Left With

Lena left L-corp and thought briefly about where she should go: she knew Kara would be home late and she also knew that Alex should see the article before having to buy it in the store. With this in mind, she texted Alex and headed home with Elsa in toe. Arriving home, Lena put her things away and settled into the living room, not ever changing out of her outfit from work, but letting her hair out of the ponytail it was in: a tactic Kara suggested when they first began dating because she knew Lena struggled to relax, but this was a small thing the CEO could do for herself even if Kara wasn't around. Lena sat on the couch thumbing through the article in a mindless haze, only being brought back to reality by a knock at the door. Lena smiled when Elsa took off like a shot and was gently barking as she ran toward the front door. Lena calmly walked over and pulled Elsa back gently by her collar.

"Hey, relax, it's a nice person, ok. This person we like, so no barking. Now, sit and wait." Elsa still had a goofy grin on her face, but she listened to Lena and sat in the spot she was in. She was all but vibrating, something she and Kara shared in common when happy, but she stood still while Lena opened the door. Alex stepped inside and had to laugh.

"So, I'm a nice person you like huh? I didn't mean to excite her, but I didn't want to open the door and have her run out or anything." Lena smiled and nodded toward the dog, that she was surprised to see looked excited to meet Alex even though, so far, she wasn't wild about new people.

"She hasn't gotten this excited over anyone she has met so far, but we are trying to get her not to bark at new people, but she could have been barking at the door which is a pretty normal dog behavior." Lena saw how badly the dog wanted to see Alex and finally she stepped away from Alex, "you prepared to meet her?"

"Um, it is an adorable puppy that wants to love on me Lena, I am so ready for this." Lena rolled her eyes and smiled. She went and stood by Elsa and gently tapped the dogs nose and had her follow her finger to Lena's nose.

"Elsa, watch me." The dog looked very intently at Lena and Lena smiled, "good watch me. Elsa, visit." The dog broke away from Lena and bolted toward Alex, not jumping on the agent, but being very excited to make a new friend. Alex of course, promptly sat down in the hallway and allowed herself to get kisses from the puppy while frantically offering belly rubs.

"You managed to adopt a dog with Kara's personality AND blue eyes. Very impressive Lena." Lena smiled as she watched the dog lay on her back and get all the attention she wanted from Alex. Lena pointed to the living room, "if you would like to be more comfortable while playing with her, maybe you'll both join me in the living room. Unless you like sitting on the hardwood floor in front of my door." Alex got up and followed Lena, calling for the dog to follow her. Alex joined Lena on the couch and Elsa stood in front of the two women, clearly begging to get up there and join them. Lena rolled her eyes and shook her head, "you know the rules if you want up here." Alex watched in a bit of amazement as the dog went over to a basket full of the new toys and things they had bought and returned with a large blanket that has been folded neatly. Lena took it from the dog and laid it out between herself and Alex. Elsa waited, looking intently at Lena for a command. Alex watched the exchange, watching Lena lock eyes with the dog and then a few seconds later patting the spot next to her, telling the dog 'up'. Of course, the puppy didn't need to be told twice before she jumped up between the two women and quickly licked Lena's face before snuggling into Alex's leg.

"Wow, you guys trained her a lot in just a few days."

"That is thanks to your sister. They trained her a bit at the shelter, but Kara knew we would both let her get away with murder if we didn't teach her certain things. She is allowed on the bed, mostly because Kara made a joke when we brought her home and it stuck. Otherwise if she wants up here she knows to grab this blanket or the others near her basket of toys. This couch is older anyway so I don't care about the hair, its more so just making sure her nails don't dig in. But when Kara was up late finishing the article she would work with Elsa on commands and she is doing very well so far. Aren't you my sweet girl?" Lena offered the dog ear scratches and the puppy leaned into Lena's hand, clearly enjoying it. Alex sat back and had to smile at the sight in front of her: the mighty Lena Luthor talking sweetly to an animal and letting that animal on her furniture without so much of a hint of discomfort.

"I never pegged you as an animal person." Lena smiled at the puppy as she continued to gently pet her fur. "If anything, you shouldn't be surprised: human beings have let me down my whole life, animals on the other hand were fiercely loyal so long as they were cared for and loved. Maybe the only kind thing my mother ever did was 'forcing' me to take riding lessons. Being around the horses, riding, even grooming them, it made me feel connected to something that was real and alive, something that didn't want anything from me, something that loved me just because I loved it."

Alex sometimes forgot that her normal sarcasm she used with Kara would not always land with Lena because of her childhood being less than a loving place.

"Lena, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. It's just nice to see you fawn over the puppy. Usually those heart eyes are reserved just for my sister."

"You are correct about that. But now I share these eyes with someone much furrier." The dog gave Lena a quick kiss before flopping on the sofa again. Alex ran her hand along the dog's body when Lena handed her the copy of CatCo magazine that she had read earlier.

"I read it this morning and I think you should before it comes out." Alex lifted the papers from Lena and set them in her lap, "does Kara know you have this?"

"Of course, she told me I could read the advanced copy. I read it today before I left work and I…I think you should read it Alex. Before it hits shelves that is."

"Why?" Lena looked softly at Alex and smiled, "she talks about you Alex and how you helped her through things and I am trying to give you a chance to read it and talk to her about it before she is swarmed by the press about her story within this story. Jess was throwing the word Pulitzer around today and in my biased opinion I agree." Alex flipped through until she hit the marked page where the article began. Lena made herself busy by checking emails on her work phone, answering some emails from wedding vendors and she tried hard to give Alex space despite being 5 feet from her. She watched Alex out the corner of her eye as she read and she noticed when Alex would pause and look away from the page, trying to collect herself. She noticed Alex hold onto Elsa more as she read and she even noticed the puppy inch closer to Alex to offer more comfort. When she put the magazine copy down a few minutes later, Alex looked straight ahead of her and out the floor to ceiling window in front of them.

"I forgot I ever told her that when she first came to live with us. Who forgets being that awful to their sister? Jesus, I knew I had been a brat to her, but that was just mean. I might as well have said I'm never gonna love you please get out of my room. And I said that to a girl who had lost her whole family, her whole world. All of that pain and I couldn't be a decent human being for 10 minutes." Alex let her head fall against the back of the couch and she rubbed her face with both hands, like you would when you have a headache.

"Alex, she doesn't blame you for anything and the next few sentences after that one show that while you didn't need a sister, you were more than ready to be a great one to Kara. She knew you had her back always, even when you didn't know what you were doing, you never let her know pain alone. I can promise you, that is the Alex Danvers she remembers best, not the teenager she met that first day she got to earth. The sister she holds in the highest regard is the same sister who promised to make her nightmares go away. That is the Alex Danvers she loves more than anything else and it is my professional opinion that it is that Alex Danvers that is sitting on my couch right now."

"I was so mad when she showed up, but after even a few hours I wanted to help her. Then days went by and I, I started to see her as something other than this inconvenience that fell from the sky. She became my sister so fast, I just, I never thought much about that first day and how I treated her: it takes a special asshole to be mean to someone who just watched their whole life go up in smoke."

"That is true, but consider this Alex. It takes an equally special person to love someone so deeply and profoundly that they don't lose faith in humanity. You may have been cruel to her when she arrived, but you changed. You started to love her and who could blame you, Kara is, if anything, very lovable. You loved her even though your teenage cynicism told you that you should hate this new girl, that her very presence threatened the life you had with your parents. You loved for everything she was and everything she wasn't and you stuck with her when she needed a tether to this world. So, yes, you were mean to someone who had just lost everything, but then you made sure she gained everything. You couldn't rebuild her home planet, couldn't bring back her family, but you helped her build one here, on the only planet you and I will ever consider our home. So maybe the woman you are today can forgive the teenager who made a snap judgment that happened to be wrong. Kara forgave that girl, maybe you should too." Alex nodded and brushed stray tears away before looking back at Lena.

"You're right."

"I usually am." Lena winked at Alex and the agent laughed.

Alex then pointed to the magazine copy in her hand. "I didn't know she still blamed herself for them dying though. Then again, I never asked about it. I just assumed she knew Kyrpton dying wasn't her fault."

"For what it is worth, even I didn't know it still haunted her this much either. She gets very triggered on anniversaries of the planet blowing up and is so sensitive to loud noise, but I never thought that it was because she felt a sense of responsibility over what happened."

"Maybe she thought we couldn't handle it?" Lena shook her head thoughtfully, "I think it might be more that she didn't think **she** could handle it. If she said it out loud, it would be real and real things hurt. I think she did it to keep herself safe, not to keep us safe." Lena stood up and pointed to the kitchen, "I should figure something out for dinner so that she has something to eat when she finally gets home. You are welcome to stay, but I don't know if you have plans with Kelly."

"It's her late night tonight so she won't be done till 8 and she usually does notes for an hour before coming home so I've got no plans." Lena nodded and called the dog to follow her. Alex followed and watched as Lena grabbed a few things out of the cupboard in the pantry and return to the island. She and Alex made dinner for themselves, setting aside a large portion of food for Kara (Lena even added some of Kara's favorite pot stickers that she kept on hand in the freezer). Lena and Alex had fallen into an easy conversation while Lena put the dishes into the dishwasher and Alex helped feed the dog. It was during this time that Lena heard the front door open and gently close, Kara's voice filtering through the house as it happened. Of course, this combination of sounds caused Elsa to bolt from her food dish toward the front door. Lena heard Kara's happy exclamation as she was greeted by the dog. She entered the kitchen hold the puppy like it was a small child in her arms and Lena was unsure who looked happier: Elsa or Kara.

"Kara, you know the puppy can walk right?"

"But she looks so happy when I do this Lena." Kara did finally put the dog down, moving to offer her sister a hug.

"I didn't know you were coming over. Did I forget plans?" Alex shook her head as she returned to her seat. "No, Lena invited me over to check out your newest article and I just stayed since it is Kelly's late night." Kara seemed to become very nervous.

"You read it?" Alex nodded and offered Kara a comforting smile, "is it ok that I read it? Lena said you knew she was reading it and she felt it would be a good idea for me to read it before it hits shelves." Kara looked over to Lena with a shy smile and Lena knew she had made the right call. Kara never would have asked Alex to read the advanced copy in the fear of hurting her feelings.

"Of course it's ok. I would've asked you to read it myself, but I…I didn't want to hurt your feelings." Kara looked instantly uncomfortable at the thought of upsetting Alex with the truth of their past and Alex felt an extra layer of guilt.

"Kara come here." Alex held out her hand and led Kara to take a seat next to her. "Why were you afraid of hurting my feelings?"

"Because I talked about stuff from when we were kids and it happened such a long time ago. I guess I didn't want you to think I still was hurt by what happened back then."

Alex nodded, "and are you? Still hurt about what happened back then?" Kara opened her mouth so fast to say no, but no words came out because on a deep level, she just couldn't lie to Alex. Not about this, anyway. Alex saw this and knew she had made her own point.

"Kara, listen to me, ok. You are my baby sister, no matter how old we both get ok. That means that if something hurts you, I am going to fix it and make it better. It just so happens that this time the thing I have to fix and make better is a really awful thing I said when you first got to earth. More than anything Kara, I wish I could take back what I said to you. I didn't know what it would mean for you to hear those words right after losing everything. I was mad and instead of using my damn words to say that exactly, I made my intense feelings your fault and that wasn't fair. You gotta know something though Kara. Loving you was so damn easy, that I quickly lost that attitude I had and even though we fought, we fought like sisters fight, not enemies. There wasn't anything I wouldn't do for you and there is still nothing on this, or any, planet that I wouldn't do for you."

Kara fiddled with her fingers and nodded, not ever really looking Alex directly in the eye. Alex grabbed her hands and made Kara look up at her.

"Kara, I'm sorry I ever made you think I didn't need you, even if it was just for that moment."

"It's not like you haven't made up for it since then Alex."

"That may be true, but I shouldn't have said it to start with."

"You aren't mad I wrote about it?"

"What's that plaque Lena gave you when you got your first cover. 'You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.' I should've behaved better, so no Kara I'm not mad. Besides, you follow it up with some very nice stuff about me so how could I ever be mad?" Kara smiled at Alex and looked over at Lena who was leaning against the kitchen island.

"What did you think about it?"

Lena smiled, "I think my opinion is biased, but I thought it was the best thing you've ever written. It was hard to read emotionally because I could feel how much pain you must have been in, but it was impressive Kara."

"I feel better now." Lena looked back at Kara with a slightly raised eye brow, all but telling her lover that she didn't believe what she just said.

"Kara, it's ok to still feel pain around this." Kara looked at Lena and nodded, "I know, but pain and anger are different." Lena nodded as she walked around the island to stand in front of Kara.

"Why didn't you tell me it was still this painful for you Kara? I could have helped you sort through some of those feelings, or at least make you feel like you weren't going through it alone." Kara seemed caught in her thoughts and Lena realized her probable mistake a little too late. Asking Kara something like this, after a long day, most of which was no doubt emotional for her, was all but guaranteeing that the superhero would have an adverse reaction.

"I didn't think it still hurt me this much, I thought I was handling it ok. Then she said what she said about forgiving them and it made me remember…" Kara trailed off and started to pull at her ear, not hard, but enough to show Lena that she was beginning to struggle.

"Made you remember what love?" Kara shut her eyes and before Lena could try and say something Kara lunged forward and kissed Lena hard, pulling the CEO close to her. Alex wanted more than anything to look away, because she didn't need to see this, but something seemed off. Kara, while always affectionate with Lena, never was that forward with PDAs, so this was out of the ordinary. Alex watched as Lena very skillfully and gently broke the kiss and held Kara in place in an effort to ground her.

"Kara, no. I know I struck a nerve and I am sorry, but you can't use sex as an excuse to feel something love. You just need to talk to me, ok. It's just me and Alex." Kara seemed suddenly embarrassed that her sister had seen her try and use being physically close to Lena as a way of avoiding her feelings. Kara fumbled with Lena's fingers, refusing eye contact as she ran her thumb across Lena's engagement ring.

"When I sat in my car, after the interview. I thought about what she said, about forgiving them for dying and for leaving me. And part of why it hurt so much to hear that and to face it was because I was afraid to forgive them." Lena ran her hand through Kara's hair and hummed her understanding, while gently encouraging Kara to say what it was she was trying to say.

"Why were you afraid to forgive them?" Kara swallowed hard and softly answered Lena, saying, "I was afraid if I forgave them I would lose their memory totally. At least if I was still hurting and angry, I wouldn't forget them. I don't know, it sounds dumb when I say it now." Lena shook her head and moved her hands to gently cup Kara's face, forcing her to look at Lena.

"Kara, it's never a mistake to hold on to a memory. Sometimes its all we're left with." Kara nodded, looking tearfully at Lena, "I miss them."

"I know you do love." Kara kept grabbing at her ears and again, Alex watched as Lena quickly, and seemingly without thinking, took Kara's hand and rested it on her chest, just above her v neck. "Just listen to my heartbeat Kara, not the other stuff. Just my heartbeat, and Alex's heartbeat and my voice, ok? That's all you have to hear right now." Kara nodded and the three of them settled into the silence in the room for a few minutes, until Kara took her own hand away from Lena and brushed away stray tears from her eyes.

"I think I'm gonna go shower and then I would like to go to bed." Lena nodded, "I'll make you a sandwich then, because you need to eat something before you go to bed." Kara knew better than to fight it and she knew Lena was right. Lena left Kara's side to go make her some food, leaving the sisters to themselves. Kara turned to Alex and tried to offer a smile.

"Sorry you had to see all that." Alex shook her head, "don't ever be sorry for having a hard day Kara, or for being upset. You've seen me have those days. Just because you are a superhero doesn't mean you don't have hard days just like the rest of us." Alex offered her sister a tight hug and quick kiss to her hairline.

"I love you. You know that now right?" Kara smiled and nodded. "I knew it back then too Alex."

"Just making sure you heard it from me." Alex winked at her sister and gestured toward the door. "I will leave you to get ready for bed and Kelly should be home by the time I get here anyway, so I should head out." Alex said goodbye to Lena and offered final pets to Elsa before Kara walked her out of the penthouse. When she returned to the kitchen she grabbed half the sandwich from the plate Lena laid out for her and retreated into the bedroom to shower before bed. Lena put the rest of the sandwich on the counter in the bathroom and then returned to the living room with Elsa in toe. She sat on the couch reading for about 30 minutes when she heard Kara come into the kitchen and walk over to where she sat on the couch.

"You going to make me sleep all alone in our bed and steal my dog?" Lena smiled, "Oh, so he's your dog today?" Kara smiled and kissed Lena before pulling her up onto her feet.

"Feel better?" Kara nodded, "a little, I'm tired though. I said I'd be in at the normal time tomorrow, cuz I can't do this timeline again."

"Good, then let's get National City's hero to bed so that I can cuddle with my wife and fight for my own spot in my own bed because of a certain dog." Lena looked down to see Elsa with the goofy grin she always had, knowing full well she was being talked about. They returned to the bedroom and Lena was less than surprised when Kara passed out hard within minutes of her head hitting the pillow. Lena snuggled closer to her and with Elsa wedged between them, the CEO quickly followed suit and fell asleeop.


	11. Very Human Tears

Roughly a week before the wedding was set to happen, both Lena and Kara were in Midvale, setting up for their rehearsal dinner. The game plan was to separate the wedding and this party by a few days at least, in the hopes of thwarting any attempts to sabotage the nuptials. Eliza was glad to host the party and if anything was overjoyed that Kara had wanted to have the party at her 'childhood' home. It wouldn't be a massive party, much like the wedding it was kept small for lots of reasons. Kara watched as the band they hired for the evening set up, while Lena and Eliza strung lights in the backyard to make it feel more intimate. That of course was part of the allure of having the party at home: it already felt cozy and warm because it was exactly that and had been since Kara and Alex were children. Eliza had initially offered to cook for the party, but Lena wouldn't hear of it. Her mother in law was an amazing cook, but cooking for that many people and allowing your house to be the location was asking too much from one woman. Lena hired a catering company to prepare the food and the deal was Alex and Kelly would pick it up on their way to the party, again with the hope that not having the name Luthor on anything would help to hide the party from prying eyes.

Once things were set up and the couple were dressed and ready, Kara continued to monitor the band outside when deep down she was using her powers to monitor the perimeter of the property. Lena stayed inside, helping Eliza with last minute details to insure the house looked beautiful and organized. Alex and Kelly, thankfully arrived first, giving everyone the distraction of setting up the food and somehow, once there were guests all three women settled down and fell into a comfortable balance of greeting people, making small talk and making sure things ran smoothly. When Jess and Winn showed up, about 10 minutes after each other, they managed to convince Kara and Lena respectively to stop managing the party and start enjoying it more. Both women had failed to realize that after so long of gala dinners and boring functions for Lena and Kara's jobs, this was one party they didn't have to perform at and it was perhaps the only party where everyone in attendance was welcome and not just invited for the sake of tradition or to cover bases. This shift made both women finally enjoy their own party more and it felt much more relaxed once they did. At one point during the party, Kara was speaking with Alex over by the table with all the alcohol when Lena came over and interrupted the discussion between the sisters.

"I have a surprise for you." Lena cupped her hands gently over Kara' glasses and the hero laughed. "Lena, I literally can see through almost anything, including your hands."

"True, but you have your glasses on and you love me so I am hoping you will actually work on not being able to see what I intend to show you." Kara sighed and laughed, "fine, ok, no powers, but then can you show me whatever it is? Is it a present? We said no presents Lena and I actually listened this time and didn't get you anything." Kara felt herself get turned around and before Lena could pull her hands away Kara heard the unmistakable booming voice about 3 feet from her, "Keira, I trained you better than that."

Kara's eyes shot open and there was Cat Grant in all her glory, standing in her backyard with a rather amused smirk on her face. Kara quickly scooped up Cat in a hug, surprising both Cat and Lena, who never thought she would see that day when Cat Grant hugged anybody. Of course, Lena gently set her hand on Kara's shoulder after a few seconds, "darling, humans need air." Kara quickly loosened her grip and pulled back from Cat, fixing her glasses like she did when she was Cat's assistant. "Right, sorry, got over excited. You didn't respond to the invitation so we just assumed you were out of town or were busy."

"So busy that I would miss my favorite assistant marrying the infamous heiress to a business dynasty who just happened to buy my company? Please Kiera, you know me far better than that." Lena rolled her eyes harder than she meant to and Cat caught it, because of course she did.

"Now now, Lena, are you rolling your eyes because I called you an heiress or because of what I called your bushing bride?"

"The fact that I am an heiress is indisputable so that certainly isn't it, but you know Kara's name. I KNOW you know it. So why after all this time do you insist on calling her the wrong name?" Lena felt strong arms pull her backwards and she soon was pressed into Kara's body and the hero gently held her there and offered her a kiss on her cheek.

"Lena, its ok. You don't have to defend my honor to Ms. Grant. It's a bit of an inside joke at this point." Cat watched the exchange with fascination: she wasn't surprised that Lena would so readily defend Kara, even from a joke, but she was surprised at how quickly Lena relaxed simply because Kara touched her. In that moment, Cat Grant realized that she had missed a lot of changes in the time she had been gone.

"You bride is correct Ms. Luthor. I've known Kara's name since I hired her, but I mispronounced it one day on accident, she never corrected me, I am guessing out of fear, and so I kept doing it. Eventually she learned how to stand up for herself, even against someone as powerful as me. So, if anything, whatever confidence she had when she asked you out on a date for the first time, I personally take full credit for and since it led to this moment here, you are welcome." Lena had to smile a little, because Cat wasn't wrong and Kara seemed so glad to have her old boss in attendance it made the subtle jabs and jokes seem like they were meant as covert declarations of love from a woman the world never would've pegged as sentimental. Lena offered Kara a quick kiss and pointed towards where Eliza and Alex were standing, "I will leave you two to catch up and I am going to see if your sister and Eliza need any help with setting up the food."

Kara eventually turned back to face Cat, after she had watched Lena walk away and Cat Grant had a smirk across her face. "You watched every single step she took when she walked away from you. Either you like watching her ass as she walks or you are more hopeless in love with her than I had suspected."

"Can't it be both?" Kara smiled and fidgeted with her glasses and tried to hide her deep blush.

"Well, I had of course seen the Instagram posts and the tabloid covers with your relationship details, but those rags never get anything right. So, your invitation was a pleasant confirmation that you are very serious about your relationship with Lena."

"I would've married her about a week into knowing her if Earth customs would've allowed it."

"Clearly she hasn't taken you to Vegas yet, because they not only allow it, they bank on it. Waiting for the right moment though is more romantic and if there is one thing I know about you, it's that your brain is full of hopeless romance. Thank god you found a rather attractive outlet for all that sappy goodness." Kara said nothing, but did blush harder and Cat had to smile and shake her head.

"Before you permanently turn beet red, I should tell you, I read the article you wrote about the Holocaust survivor." Kara stopped moving and waited for Cat to give her an idea of if she was proud of the work or if it didn't pass muster.

"I heard the whispers of nominating you for awards and you even got mentioned on a few day time talk shows. I'm sure you have heard all of this already and I am even willing to bet that your modesty has kept you from believing most of the nice things people are saying about you. Well, quit that for a moment and listen. It was good work Kara, damn good work. The interview was stunning and heartbreaking and you handled it well. The article afterwards was outside your usual comfort zone and it showed in a really good way. It was angry, sad and honest and to be frank, it was probably one of the finest pieces of journalism I have ever read in my time in this business. So, do us all a favor and please accept the compliments you have been getting, you deserve them." Kara was a little stunned: Cat had praised her work before, but never like this.

"Thank you Ms. Grant, but I…"

"No. Don't tell me it was nothing or whatever it is you say when someone praises you. It was something Kara, truly something. And on a personal note, I am sorry that I never knew how much losing your parents still hurt you. Even though this story isn't your whole story, I could tell how sincere you were about the pain of missing them and for that…well I wish I could've done more to help you when I was around. Though it does seem you have more than enough support around you in my absence." Cat nodded behind Kara and when Kara looked, she say what Cat saw, she saw Eliza, Alex and Lena laughing at a something a neighbor who had joined them for the evening had said. In the middle of laughing, Lena caught Kara's gaze and she nodded her head, silently asking if Kara was ok and Kara smiled and offered a short nod back. Kara turned back to Cat who seemed rather pleased with herself.

"If anyone deserves a happy life, Kara, it's you. If the littlest Luthor can offer you that life, then I pity the poor souls who would dare to stand in your way."

"She isn't just a Luthor."

Cat waved her hand dismissively, "yes, yes, she isn't her family, proved herself, blah blah. I know you love her Kara and it is painfully clear how very much she loves you or she wouldn't have tried so hard to get ahold of me. While my marriage record is nothing to brag about, I have learned one thing in my time and it's this: when you and the person you love complement each other, a natural balance blooms in the relationship. Someone is always the voice of reason, or the bad cop or whatever it is. You and Lena are yin and yang personified and it is my biased belief that this will serve you well in your marriage. Also, it takes a special person to see through all the walls someone puts up when they have been hurt by the world."

"Lena has gotten so much better about letting me in when she's hurting."

"It isn't just Lena that has to learn when to let someone in: you need to learn it too Kara. Lena is not the only one in your marriage who has been hurt by the world and lost things and people who were once precious to her. You have this sunny disposition, but you guard yourself just as readily as she does, so thank whatever god you wish that you found each other because I think you are both the only people who could look at the other person and see them as they are: with all the broken pieces of their heart and all the good intentions holding them together. You and Lena Luthor might just save each other and I can't think of a more deserving person of that type of love than you."

Kara smiled and offered Cat one more, gentle, hug. "Thank you, Cat."

"Don't get used to this sappy version of me. Emotions are exhausting and I won't always be on hand to pour my heart out for you. Consider this a wedding gift." Kara smiled and nodded. Before Kara could speak again, Cat pointed behind her, "you might want to go join your wife. It would appear someone isn't in Kansas anymore." Kara looked over her shoulder and saw what Cat saw, which was her cousin and Lois walking through the yard, slowly making their way toward Lena. Kara wasn't nervous per say, but she didn't want to leave Lena to deal with her cousin alone. Superman took the longest of anyone to come around to Lena being with Kara and, though he made some strides in this, Kara knew that he still was not convinced this wasn't a long con on Lena's part. Kara arrived at Lena's side just as her cousin stepped before her.

"Mr. Kent, glad to see you were able to join us." Lena smiled through gritted teeth and Kara hated it when she did that. It was what Lena did at business meetings or when she was truly miserable, but had to put on a brave face. Lena knew better than start a fight with the man of steel, not because he would win, but because Kara would be forced to make a choice of defending Lena's honor or fighting her last living relative. Both Lena and Clark knew the decision would end in Lena's favor, but Lena refused to ever be the reason that Kara had to make it.

"Thank you for inviting us. The yard looks lovely. And you look stunning Lena, as do you Kara." Lois offered pleasantries in the hopes that if they spoke fast enough she could stop her husband from perhaps saying something he'd end up regretting.

Kara pulled Lena gently, but firmly, back so she was flush against her body and she kept her hand across her stomach in a defensive pose that no one misunderstood. She was protecting Lena and it was in everyone's best interest to not test her right now.

"We are very glad you could join us. I know you can't join is for the wedding so we are really glad you could both make it tonight." Lena responded with a more genuine smile to Lois.

Kara looked at her cousin and tried to at least be civil, "we are very glad you are helping cover for me for the wedding so hopefully tonight gives you both a chance to celebrate with us." Lois elbowed her husband gently in the stomach to signal he needed to say something and to watch it.

"Of course. Happy to help the day of and everything looks beautiful here tonight. I hope you two have a lovely evening. We brought our wedding gift with us tonight and Eliza let us keep it in the house, so it's there whenever you guys are packing up."

"Thank you, that is so nice of you to have brought something. We will be sure to pack it up when we head home tomorrow. You guys arrived just in time, we were just about to start dinner, so grab a seat." Lois pulled her husband quickly behind her, mostly to stop him from ruining the mostly ok exchange with a stupid comment. Kara watched them leave and snuggled Lena closer to her.

"You know, next time you could just make out with me in front of your cousin: mark your territory that way." Kara frowned at the joke. "You aren't my territory Lena." Lena turned in Kara's arms and smiled, "I didn't mean it like that love. I know you don't see me like that. But whenever your cousin comes around, you get very grabby and possessive of me and I'm not gonna lie, it's pretty hot."

Kara smiled and seemed to perk up, "really?"

"Really. Cuz you hold me perfectly still and I know nothing bad is gonna happen to me when you hold me like that. And sometimes if he gets sassy you get all defensive and it's a very big turn on." Lena offered Kara a kiss before pulling back slightly.

"He should be nicer to you."

"Kara, he isn't mean to me."

"That is not the same as him being kind and you know it."

"You're right, but darling listen to me. I know he is your cousin and the last son of Krypton, but you know something? I don't care. I care about him because he is your family, but I don't need anyone's blessing or permission to love you. Ok? I didn't need Alex's permission and I sure as hell do not need Clark Kent's." Kara smiled and blushed, looking away as she did. Lena gently held her head in place and kissed again, this time softer.

"I love you. Ok? Now let's go eat dinner so I can dance with my blushing bride." Once they all got settled, dinner went pleasantly enough, Eliza thanked their friends and neighbors for joining them for the party and explained that they would lay out dessert soon, in the mean time to enjoy the music. Kara had lost track of Lena at some point, but could hear her fiancé's heartbeat so she knew she was fine and not far away so she assumed she was in the house. Alex soon joined Kara and handed her a drink before noticing that Kara seemed fidgety.

"What's up with you, you look almost uncomfortable?" Kara shrugged her shoulders, "I haven't seen Lena in a while, since dinner really and I'm worried." Alex caught a glimpse of something behind Kara and once she looked closer she smiled and turned her sister around to face in the same direction. "Found her."

Kara turned to see Lena talking to the members of the band. She had changed into a different dress and her hair was down: no ponytail, no braids, no bun. Kara always loved when she did that and it was when Lena looked like this that Kara really felt like she was being "her Lena" and not the Lena Luthor that the world assumed they knew. Kara watched as Lena sat at the keyboard piano that was set up next to the other instruments and she was more than a little surprised: Lena playing in front of a crowd was rare, in fact Kara couldn't tell you a time it had ever happened…before now that is. Lena nodded to the guitar player who played chords that led her in on the piano. Kara was already in a bit of shock when another band member moved the microphone in front of the keyboard, close enough to pick up Lena's voice.

_**There's a home by the wide Avonmore **_

_**That would sweep o'er the broad open sea A**_

_**nd wide rivers where the waves wash ashore **_

_**Whilst bulrushes they wave to the breeze **_

_**Where the green ivy clings round the door **_

_**And the birds sweetly sing on each tree **_

_**O me darling they're tuning they're notes **_

_**Is ar Éirinn ní neosfainn cé hí **_

_**One eve as I happened to stray **_

_**By the lands that were bordering mine **_

_**O a young girl I saw on my way **_

_**And she left me to languish and pine, **_

_**A slave of the charm and the mien **_

_**And the silver-toned voice of the dame, **_

_**To see her I sped over the glen, **_

_**Is ar Éirinn ní neosfainn cé hí **_

Lena managed to make direct eye contact with Kara in that moment and from her spot next to Kara, all Alex could think of was that if this wasn't their rehearsal dinner party, this moment would've been the moment she would tell the world that she knew for certain that Lena Luthor loved no person more than Kara Danvers. Alex watched as Kara seemed to mindlessly walk closer to where Lena was playing, choosing to stop maybe 6 feet from the piano. And it was there she listened to the rest of the song.

_**Like a sick man that longs for the dawn **_

_**I do long for the light of her smile **_

_**And I pray for my own cailin ban **_

_**While I'm waiting for her by the stile **_

_**O I'd climb all the hills of this land **_

_**And I'd swim all the depths of the sea **_

_**To get one touch from her lily-white hand **_

_**Is ar Éirinn ní neosfainn cé hí**_

_**I have toiled sore those years of my life **_

_**Through storm, through sunshine and rain **_

_**And I surely would venture my life **_

_**For to shield her one moment from pain **_

_**For she being my comfort in life **_

_**O my comfort and joy she may be. **_

_**She's my own, she is my promised wife **_

_**And for Ireland I won't tell her name **_

Kara was a mess, Alex could see that even from the spot she was standing, but what was even more apparent, was the thin margin by which Lena was holding herself together in a valiant effort to finish her performance. Her voice shook a bit, but nothing anyone noticed because everyone at the party was too blown away by the gesture, the music, the song itself and the odd perfection of it in capturing the relationship they had all come to celebrate. Lena's hands hit the keys more gently as the song ended and her voice climbed a register and Alex would never admit to another soul that she shed a tear or two as she listened.

_**O but when I will call her my own **_

_**And it's married we both then will be **_

_**Like the king and the queen on their throne **_

_**We'll be living in sweet unity **_

_**O it's then I'll have a home of my own **_

_**And I'll rear up a nice family **_

_**O it's then that her name will be known **_

_**Is ar Éirinn ní neosfainn cé hí **_

_**And for Ireland I won't tell her name **_

_**Is ar Éirinn ní neosfainn cé hí**_

Lena played the song out and was met instantly with applause and whistling. She didn't hear it long because Kara closed the space between them and wrapped her arms around her fiancé and pulled her close to her, offering her a gentle kiss, but one where Kara showed zero sign of pulling away first. Lena eventually tasted salt in that kiss and she gently pulled away, knowing full well it meant Kara was crying. She leaned her forehead against Kara's and for all the tears, the hero never looked as happy as she did in that moment with Lena.

"Good tears?"

"Really good tears Lena. That was really beautiful…just…thank you."

"You are most welcome my love." Kara beamed and showered Lena with kisses and proud smiles as friends of their's offered Lena passing compliments and praise. Alex watched the couple from afar, but was soon joined by Cat Grant.

"Lex would roll over in his grave if he knew that all it took for a Luthor to best a Super was singing an Irish folk song to them." Alex on instinct looked around them and Cat waved her off, "oh please, Agent Danvers give me a little credit, no one born of this earth can hear what I just said to you."

"For what it's worth, Lena has never been interested in harnessing Kara's power, she was always, to my knowledge, after Kara's heart. Maybe that's where her brother failed."

"That is how most villains fail Agent Danvers. They are always chasing the thing they believe will last forever. They believe that thing to be power, but in my experience they are wrong in that quest. No matter who you are, power cannot and does not last forever."

Alex quirked an eyebrow at Cat, "and you, the Cat Grant, believe that love lasts forever?" Cat finished her drink and pointed at Kara and Lena as they slow danced. Lena was laughing at something Kara had whispered to her and Kara interrupted the laugh with a brief kiss.

"I believe that kind of love will last forever. Even I, with all my faults and divorces, still believe in love Agent Danvers and when someone like Kara meets someone like Lena…well, that's the stuff they write poetry about." Alex wasn't sure if this was Cat talking, or Cat on her 6th drink talking, but she wasn't wrong in any case. Her thoughts and their conversation were cut short when Clark came over and stood in front of Alex.

"Lois and I should get going soon and I don't want to bother Kara. Will you let her know we had to duck out and to just touch base with me before the wedding?" Alex responded fast, knowing the hero would leave without hearing her answer.

"You've left her behind on this property enough in her life don't you think? This time you had better at least say goodbye." The rather imposing man seemed to be taken down effectively by Alex's words and Cat was surprised.

"I didn't abandon her Alex, I said goodbye to her last time."

"Yes, you did. Forever, as it were. You left a human equivalent of a child with strangers, on a planet she didn't understand, with powers she could not control and expected her to just hang out because you were busy. You were all she had left Clark. You were literally the only people left of your whole world. The last daughter and son of Krypton. She watched her world blow up and everyone she loved went up in fucking smoke and when she found you, you left her, alone, with strangers. Like she was an inconvenience. Now you have the fucking nerve to disapprove of her marriage. You've got balls, I'll give you that much." Alex wasn't exactly sure why she felt the need to have this fight now, but she wanted to have it. Mostly because deep down, she didn't want Kara to have to have it.

"I would have put her danger if I took her with me."

"And now? What are you protecting her from now with your judgement of her bride?"

"Alex, you know what her family has done, just as I do. They love you until they don't and then they will kill their own to get a chance to kill you. Kara might be blind to it now, but eventually the lust will fade and she will find herself married to a…"

"Watch yourself Mr. Kent. Let's all remember that you aren't the only person here tonight with very good hearing. Wouldn't want you to regret your words." Cat cautioned the Man of Steel and he stopped himself and swallowed whatever he was about to call Lena. Cat gestured behind the hero in front of her and forced him to turn. He watched Kara and Lena telling something to Kelly and Winn and Kara looked excited about whatever it was and Lena…well Lena was just looking at Kara while she excitedly talked.

"The woman you were about to malign looks at your cousin as though she hung the moon for her. I've married the type of people you are afraid of Mr. Kent. Those hungry for power, something pretty to look at and take to bed, but in the end when those things change and go away, so do they. And while those people exist, believe me when I say this: if I ever met a person with half the integrity of Lena Luthor, maybe I would still be married to them. Being afraid of something you do not understand is no excuse for hatred, I would think in your time on this planet you would have learned that by now."

"I know you think very highly of my cousin Ms. Grant, but with all due respect…"

"That's right Mr. Kent, I think VERY highly of your cousin and if I was pushed to admit it, I might even acknowledge that I love her, very much. I also think very highly of Lena Luthor. A woman who when faced with losing direct contact with your cousin, bought her my company, just so she would have a job and so Lena would not lose the first kind soul to show her what friendship could look like. They fell in love Mr. Kent, the Romeo and Juliet of National City as it were, only difference is they are both alive and if you leave your cynicism behind you for just a moment you might see that your cousin, despite all the darkness the world has handed her, has found a mate who brought sunlight back into her life. And hero or no hero, you would be remembered as the villain of this story if you chose to try and disrupt that. I would make damn sure of that." Clark didn't have a comeback for that, mostly because he knew it was true.

"I should go say goodnight to Kara." Clark took a few steps before Cat called him back, "Mr. Kent, one more thing." Clark turned to Cat who gently tapped her own cheek with her finger. "We'll keep it between us that I saw some very human tears in your eyes when Lena sang. Maybe your heart isn't as hardened as you wish it were. Goodnight, Mr. Kent." Clark walked away and Alex saw him offer Kara a hug goodbye and make the most awkward small talk with Lena ever, while Kara said goodnight to Lois.

"That was impressive." Alex had to hand it to Cat Grant, the woman was as scary with Alex without the weapons training.

"I have my moments Agent Danvers. Now, I believe I should call my driver and head home, so if you will excuse me, I will say goodnight to the blushing brides and make my exit." Alex watched as Cat bid Kara and Lena goodnight before somehow gracefully, though not at all soberly, made her way to her town car.

**The song is called ****Ar Éirinn Ní Neosfainn Cé Hí ****(For Ireland**** I'd ****Not**** Tell Her Name) by Cherish the Ladies.**


	12. MotherDaughter Talks

**Hi guys, so so sorry for the wait. My computer died and I had to buy a new one, so everything got held up. Anyway, on we go.**

The party had gone on for a few more hours and by then end of its Kara had managed to drink more than her fair share of alien alcohol and Alex maintained that nothing was funnier than her sister drunk. Kara said she would help her family clean up and Lena knew she couldn't do much to stop Kara. While Lena and Eliza cleaned the kitchen, Alex and Kelly made sure that everything outside was clean and garbage thrown away. Kara's job was to load the gifts into her and Lena's car. In her heart Lena knew her car wasn't going to be packed and ready to go, but she let Kara try. Because of this she was not surprised when Kara announced that she was just going to sit and rest her back for a second, only to have her passed out cold minutes later. Lena shook her head and smiled as she put a pillow under Kara's head so she could sleep on the couch. Lena returned to Eliza so they could finish up in the kitchen and Alex and Kelly soon joined them.

"Ok the garbage bins are on the curb and everything out in the yard is either back in the storage shed or is back in the spot it usually is. You guys need anything else in here?"

"We are almost putting the few dishes we did use away."

"And Kara is where?"

Lena pointed to the living room, "my blushing bride is passed out on the couch so I am guessing we will be crashing here for the night." Alex looked on the couch and Kara was face first and snoring into the couch. Alex shook her head and laughed.

"I can try to put her in your car if you want to go home Lena." Lena shook her head, "its ok. You'd hurt yourself trying, drunk Kara is pure dead weight, plus its late so just safer to stay here. You two can go on home though." Alex nodded and gathered her things as Kelly said goodnight to Eliza. Alex did the same, offered Lena a hug and pressed a quick kiss to Kara's head after putting her jacket on. Kara came to for a quick moment and smiled at Alex.

"Lexie! I drank so much." Alex laughed and Lena stifled a laugh in the kitchen.

"I know you had too much to drink, wanna know how? You only ever call me Lexie when you are smashed." Kara laughed at herself. "Lexie, lexie…I am so drunk, but don't tell Lena. She might get mad, but Lexie…Lexie, my wife is so hot when she is mad at me." Alex looked over her shoulder at Lena in the kitchen who was shaking her head.

"You don't say."

"Seriously Lexie, we have the best make up sex after Lena is mad at me. God she is so hot." Alex shook her head and pretended to gag, looking at Lena who was now beet red standing next to Eliza who was shaking her head at both Alex and Kara. Alex took the hint and pointed toward the door, "well I will let you two deal with drunk pants over here. Call me if you need anything."

Lena covered Kara in a light blanket and put water near her for when she woke up feeling like death. As she did this Eliza pointed to the porch, "want to join me out here before we turn in?"

Lena dimmed the lights to let Kara sleep and then followed Eliza outside. Her soon to be mother in law poured them both and small drink before they took a seat on the deck chairs.

"Sorry for what Kara said in there. She will be absolutely mortified when she hears that she was so open about our relationship, let alone our sex life."

Eliza smiled, "one day, if you two have kids, you'll learn that after a certain age, you stop viewing your child as a child and understand that falling in love, sex, drinking or whatever else is just part of life. And as long as they are being smart about their choices, jumping in helps no one."

Lena smiled into her drink and looked out at the dark trees, "Kara as a teenager must have been a sight in terms of first dates and love."

"It was like night and day with her and Alex, of course it always was. Kara showed up here as a teenager physically, but her brain was very much an adult as far as we could tell. So, while Alex was making eyes at the boys soccer team and her best friend, which in retrospect should have tipped me off, Kara was happy with her books…and of course Alex. Course then she got older and realized she had sort of missed part of finding herself on this earth. She hadn't been with anyone sexually because she was afraid she break them somehow and I think she feared she'd always be alone because of that. Of course, then you showed up in National City and suddenly my very adult daughter was acting not unlike a hormonal teenager. It was something to see." Lena blushed and smiled wide at hearing how love-struck Kara had been upon her arrival.

"She certainly made an impression during our first meeting."

"So it would seem. That is if this wedding is anything to go by." Lena smiled and laughed, forgetting things that tend to weight her down for a moment. Of course, for Lena Luthor, those things found her second later and Eliza noticed when her smile fell.

"Something tells me that your mind just wondered into a rather painful memory. Want to share with the class?"

Lena leaned her head against the chair and shut her eyes, "I never had this growing up, ever. I never had a mom who would sit and talk with me about nonsense or serious matters. I didn't have someone who cared if I was in love or getting laid or even getting enough sleep. Kara and I have talked at length about our upbringings and my heart always breaks for her because she lost it all, truly and completely. And at the same time: I would've given anything I ever thought meant anything to me to have a fraction of the relationship the two of you have."

"You deserved better than what you got Lena. I hope you know that." Lena shrugged her shoulders, "I was raised with a fortune attached to my name, the best schools, instructors, health care, you name it…I had it."

"You had things Lena and they were nice and expensive. But did you ever have someone just love you because they felt that surge of love in their heart for you?"

"I thought I did. I like to think that there was a time when Lex was not the man he became and that young boy loved me. Otherwise, no. No one ever loved me like that until I met Kara."

"On the one hand that's pretty sad Lena. Then again, Kara Danvers as a first love is pretty special so lucky you." Lena smiled and nodded. "First and last love, thank you very much. And yeah, lucky me indeed." They sat in silence for a bit until Lena spoke up.

"We have talked about it you know?"

"About what Lena?"

"Kids, having our own I mean. Adoption is on the table too, obviously. My assistant said something about me not being able to say no to blue eyes and her hoping my kids don't have Kara's eyes or I'm screwed. I got this feeling in my stomach suddenly of wanting kids that look like Kara and nothing ever scared me more. I mean who wants a Luthor as a mom?"

"I bet your kids will be rather delighted to have you as a mom. And my grandchildren will be very lucky to have you and Kara in their lives. Having bad parents does not make you a bad parent Lena, not unless you let it."

"I just don't want to repeat the mistakes my family made with me. I want my kids to have this." Lena pointed around her and at Eliza and herself. "I want them to come home every day and know that they can tell me anything and I'll be there. That I will always fight for them. That there is no greater love than what I will feel towards them, even if they aren't born from my body. I want them to have absolutely everything and know that I will move heaven and earth to give it to them. I just want them to never ever feel the way I felt growing up."

Lena brushed tears away and looked off, trying to avoid Eliza. "Sorry. Kara always said that whiskey after 10pm makes me weepy."

"You want your kids to feel loved Lena. No need to apologize for that. It is what parents do."

"Yeah but, I mean shit they aren't even born yet. There is no reason for me to be this defense yet."

"Sure there is. Lena you and Kara lost so much as children, of course you want better for your kids. Kara never thought about having kids until you and you never thought about them until her, that means something Lena. And for what's its worth, as far as I am concerned, I can always have more daughters in my life. I am so glad that Kara and Alex both found women who love them so very much, but Alex is Alex. She could go anywhere and blaze a trail for herself and she has her daddy's stubborn intelligence. But Kara, despite her powers and gifts, she loves traditions and things that are familiar because her normal life was gone in seconds. So, everything in life feels fleeting to her and nothing we ever did made her feel like she had her feet under her and was safe. You however, you did what even I couldn't do, so don't think you didn't give Kara just as much as this family has."

"I didn't do anything that special Eliza. Kara is, many things, but above all else she is very easy to love. Too bad the one thing she wants more than anything else is the one thing I can't give her."

"And what's that?"

"I can't give her her home back. I can buy companies for her, buy us a house, make sure she has all the calories a crime fighting superhero could need, but at the end of the day, even with my fast wealth, I cannot replace the home she lost."

"I see. And you think that because you can't that makes you a failure as a wife?" Lena shrugged and Eliza tilted her head.

"Lena, has Kara ever told you about Krypton?"

Lena nodded, "not much in the beginning, but after a while she talked about it more. Things she remembers, people she knew there, the kind of life she would have been expected to have had they all survived. She even teaches me some of their language, although she says some words can't be said by humans because of vocal cord differences."

"Right. Do you know who else she talks about her home to?" Lena shook her head. "Nobody Lena. My husband knew about it from Clark, Kara never told him about it. Alex knows more than he ever did only because of working with Kara and me, she just doesn't talk to me about it because honestly I think it hurts her to. But you…you know more than all of us. Kara gave you the most full and complete picture of who she was as a girl, her dreams, her family and the things that made her flash that goofy grin. No one else alive has that knowledge Lena, but you do. Kara doesn't want or expect you to replace what she lost. Her home is with you, wherever you are, whatever that looks like: home for her means having Lena Luthor by her side."

Lena smiled and nodded, never really having thought about how much Kara had let her into her world. And in the moment Lena realized that maybe that was the best things she could give Kara: a place to share her memories and put the details of her once proud planet so that it would live on in someone other than Kara and in a smaller sense Clark.

"I should go make sure she is all set on the couch and then head to bed. Thank you, for this. Like I said, it's not something I had growing up so having it now feels nice: having someone's mom care about me."

"Well, someone's mom definitely does care and my door is always open to you." Eliza offered Lena a gentle hug as they returned to the house. Lena confirmed that Kara was very drunk but otherwise fine, before going upstairs and settling into the bed Eliza had made up for her. At no point in Lena's whole life, had she ever thought that this would be something she would do: family gatherings for her were more like war games. But now, the prospect of a wedding, child and a family that gave a damn was one that Lena was very fond of and was more than ready to embrace it.


	13. Walk Through Life At My Side

The morning of the couple's wedding Lena was being tended to by Alex, at Kara insistence. The hero explained that she could defend herself if anything were to happen, but Lena shouldn't have to shoot someone on her wedding day, and she knew Alex loved the chance to shoot at anything. That being said, she was with Lena, while Winn and Jonn stayed with Kara. Leading up to the day the couple had to put in place a rather masterful fake out so that if they were tailed by vulture paparazzi, they would never actually know the location of the wedding. Lena was checking that everything was packed in the car she would actually be in while Alex finished prepping the decoy who happened to be an agent of her's who with the right amount of make-up, sunglasses and an insanely expensive suit of Lena's, looked a good amount like the heiress. Enough to make the press follow her everyone move and draw attention away from the real Lena Luthor.

"Ready to go Lena?" Lena checked her bags once more and nodded, allowing another agent dressed in the uniform of her building's front door staff to put the last of her things in the car. Alex placed her earpiece in her ear and clicked through on her communications.

"Alright everyone, we all in position and ready?" Alex eyed Lena as she heard her agent check in.

"Super glad I went to special training to be a pretend driver for a wedding."

"Shut up Shepard, you have the easiest job today. Claire is the one who has every right to complain cuz if we fuck this up, she gets the full wrath of the world who will think she is Lena."

Alex pinched the bridge of her nose and Lena had to laugh a little, "so these are you best people huh?"

Alex glared at her and all but spat into her receiver, "you all know I can fucking hear you right? Let's try this again: are we ready to go or do I need to help you all remember how to do your jobs with some weekend trainings." Alex heard a chorus of 'no ma'am' and then heard her people sound off one at a time ending with the agent pretending to be Lena.

"Alright hot shot, you ready to see if your little pump fake will work?" Lena nodded and followed Alex out of the condo, locking it behind them. Once she and Alex were sitting in the other vehicle Lena was carefully hid under a few jackets so that from the road only Alex was visible.

"Green light on Eagle One. Give me a check in 5-minute increments." Alex got a chorus of responses and Lena sighed from under her hiding spot. "So what nickname do I have?"

"Oh, don't worry it's nothing weird."

"Well, now I am worried. Is it Eagle Two like a parks and rec reference?" Alex ignored Lena and instead was giving orders to her people. When 10 minutes had elapsed and the second wave of cars with L corp tags left the building Alex spoke up again.

"Do not fuck this up or I am making you all run sprints up and down every staircase at the DEO, ok? Green light on Sidekick." The car they were in moved forward and Alex heard Lena growl.

"Sidekick? Really? Our kids will be her sidekicks, I am her wife."

"Hey, don't get snappy with me it was Kara's idea to change it for today, it's not your usual codename." Alex scanned the area around them as they pulled into the traffic and so far, nothing seemed out of place.

"So, what is my codename on every other day of the year?" Alex rolled her eyes and clicked on her coms. "Eagle One, do you copy?"

"Eagle One copies Director."

"Claire, when it is not her wedding day, what is Lena's codename that our girl in spandex came up with?" Alex held the device near the pile of coats Lena was still hiding under and soon enough she heard the other agent's voice click through.

"Be advised Director, codename under normal circumstances is 'basherte."

"Thank you, Claire." Alex pulled the devise away and Lena made a small window so she could look Alex in the eye. "Where did she come up with that? What does it even mean?"

"It's Yiddish. Literal translation is "destiny", but in reference to a person it means 'meant to be'." Lena smiled and blushed a little and Alex had to shake her head: hopelessly in love the both of them.

"So what was my codename before we dated? I worked with you before we ever went on a single date." Alex nodded and smiled to herself.

"I'm only going to admit this once so listen closely: it was ALWAYS your codename, even before you dated. I needed you to have a codename for everyday use and she said it almost without thinking. Wouldn't tell me what it meant, and I was too busy to look it up. I told myself it was probably something in her native language and didn't think about it again, until we were coming up with a code for the wedding. You might not have been dating, but you should know that there never a second she didn't know you that she didn't also love you."

Lena almost started crying at this news: even before they got out of their own way and went on a date, Kara felt like Lena was her destiny and wanted her to be referred to as such when she was protecting National City. Lena enjoyed the series of thoughts and memories that came up during the rest of the drive. Soon enough she noticed that the car came to a stop and the sunlight that had filter through the limo was replaced by artificial light. Alex gave her the all clear to get out from her hiding spot and she quickly got out of the car, not allowing Lena to do the same until her team at the location gave her the all clear. When she got it she reached into the car and helped Lena step out. Lena took stock of her surroundings and she watched as two agents took her things from the trunk and quickly took them inside, leaving Alex and two other agents to walk her into a side office. The car had been allowed to park in a loading dock that had a garage door of sorts, giving the party a nice cover under which to safely unload Lena. The location had been Lena's idea for a few reasons: first off she knew that because of the old site of the building there were tunnels underneath it which would allow them to bring in their small amount of guests from a neighboring building without drawing attention and second, if she was going to marry someone not of this world, Lena figured the very least she could do was marry Kara at a place that celebrated the universe outside of their earth. All that to say, the choice to hold the wedding at the National City Planetarium was one that Lena was proud of and Kara was too proud to admit how much it meant to her.

Once in the office, Lena and Alex sat with the events director of the museum and examined the NDA's of every employee that would be on site that day. Alex counted them all, checked them against the clock in info from that morning to ensure that each staff member was accounted for and had a signed agreement. Alex filed the papers away in a case that unlocked and locked to her thumbprint, handing it over to another agent who disappeared fast. The events director, to her credit, put up with all of the security measures like a champ: what choice did she have ultimately. Lena had rented the entire venue for the day and no one can thumb their nose at that kind of revenue so as far as security measures, if Lena or Alex asked for it, it was given to them no questions asked. Once the business was done with, the woman showed Lena to the area that they set up as a dressing room for her, with Kara's being in another part of the museum.

Lena's things had been hung up and her make-up and other things were laid out for her to handle as she wished. Alex popped in and was rattling things off for Lena, while looking at her phone.

"Alright kid, you have about 90 minutes to prep and get dressed, then I will come get you and walk you over to where the photographer will get some pics of just you which we allotted 30 minutes for, then we have you waiting in the wings for the big 'I do' because Kara goes down the aisle first per the coin toss." Lena smiled at that, because that was exactly how they had to figure out that detail.

"Sounds perfect, thank you." Alex nodded and was interrupted briefly when another agent came into hand her another dress bag. Alex hung it up next to Lena's and took it out, beginning to shed her current outfit.

"You are getting dressed in here?"

"Where else would I get dressed?"

"I assumed with Kara."

"Kara is under strict order to not be in this building for another hour. When I finish helping you and getting myself dressed, I will go to her and get her make up touched up, hair fixed and outfit on all while you take your pictures. She will then take her own before the big bang."

"You're gonna help me get ready?"

"I promised you both I'd be here for both of you, so yeah Lena, I am gonna help. Now let me change, you decide if we do hair or make up first." Alex quickly threw on her dress for the wedding before turning to Lena who pointed to her make up kit.

"You know I can do my own make up right?"

"I figured, but where is the fun in that. Now sit down and stop questioning this. Sisters do this, so just accept it." Lena didn't mean to look surprised, but she knew she probably looked stunned.

"I wouldn't know. Hell, I don't even know what loving siblings do for each other, much less sisters." Alex realized her mistake and gently touched Lena's shoulders making her look right at Alex.

"Hey, listen to me. I shouldn't have said it like that. But this is what sisters do Lena, they do things for each other even if they know they don't need to. They help each other get dressed on their wedding days, they help decorate their first houses, they hold each other's hands during childbirth, they stand with each other, even if you wish they'd go away. I know you haven't had that in your life, but you have it now and if nothing else, take this as a formal apology for how I reacted when I learned you and Kara were dating."

Lena smiled and shrugged her shoulders, "I forgave for that a long time ago."

Alex looked more than a little gutted, "well you shouldn't have. It was a crap thing for me to say and I know I made up for it, but I think this is nice way to balance the universe ok. I was so against this at the start and now here I am, doing your hair and make-up. Full circle, right?" Lena nodded and gladly sat down, allowing Alex to organize the make-up brushes and begin to work.

"Besides, Kara doesn't play with make-up much so let me have some fun with you. Gonna make you look hot as hell to marry my sister." That made Lena chuckle and settle down slightly. Alex worked diligently and did everything but Lena's lips, knowing to do that last as it would wear off the fastest. She gave Lena a break while she got the hair stuff ready, which did not take long.

"Kara said you were putting the hair up right?"

"That is what she said, but that is not what is happening. Hair down, braid down the back, a few strands framing my face." Alex smiled as she quickly touched up Lena's hair with a flat iron. "You just wanna see if Kara will faint."

"Nah, just want to make her uncomfortably turned on in front of our closest friends." Alex flicked Lena's shoulder, but continued working. Once the braid was done and secure, Lena got her dress out of the bag and quickly went to the bathroom before getting into the dress. When she returned another agent walked in with her and put another case down on the table for Alex and then quickly left.

"More surprises?" Alex shook her head and smiled as she popped the lid open. "No surprises, just fire power." Alex held up two handguns and looked like a kid on Christmas before quickly strapping them to her legs, far enough up her dress that you wouldn't guess they were there.

"I suppose I shouldn't be shocked by that."

"You better believe every family wedding will include me being armed to the teeth."

"I wouldn't dream of stopping you. Now would you care to help me into this dress, or do you have more guns to hide on your person." Alex rolled her eyes and helped Lena get in the dress, quickly adding touch up make up and lipstick to the younger woman before being radioed that the photographer was ready for Lena.

"Perfect she is a little ahead of schedule, but that'll work. When you are done, you will need to touch up the lipstick, but otherwise you should be good ok? I am going to go help Kara, and I will see you shortly ok?" Alex left the room with Lena and handed her off to the photographer before going to the part of the museum where Kara was tucked away. Once there she noticed her sister was already dressed in her dress, but was waiting for Alex to help her with her hair, which always hated being fussed with after her flying around like she had been today.

"Not nervous or anything are we baby sister?" Kara jumped slightly and Alex shook her head. "Wow, I swear to god you are both so helpless without the other person its almost funny." Kara rolled her eyes as Alex tilted her head upwards to help do her eye make-up, something Kara always manage to mess up when she tried.

"I'm not nervous, just excited and sort of wanting this part to be over. I know that sounds awful, most people want their wedding to go slower, but I just don't like being the center of attention this long."

"You are a literal superhero Kara; you have eyes on you always."

"Yeah, but as Supergirl. I'm not used to people paying this much attention to Kara Danvers." Alex nodded. Kara always hated attention like this, mostly because growing up, attention meant being made fun of or otherwise treated poorly by classmates and other kids.

"Kara, it's ok to not like all eyes on you. And its ok to want this part of the day to be over. I know you are excited for the party and maybe it's because by that point in the day Lena will be your wife and things will feel almost normal again and you get to have fun and celebrate. But, I want you to remember something, ok?" Kara opened her eyes and looked at Alex, nodding.

"You have every right to take up space as Kara Danvers. You can have all eyes on you and not have it be something bad. You deserve to have a day that celebrates what you and Lena have, ok? Not everyone finds this Kara and sometimes when they do, they still fuck it up. You and Lena don't like the spotlight because it usually means something bad, but today…today is not about Supergirl. Today is about Kara Danvers marrying Lena Luthor and you deserve to be seen as you are Kara. No spandex, no family crest, just Kara. Lena didn't fall in love with the girl of steel, she fell in love with a goofy reporter who flew into her office on a bus." Kara smiled and tried not to cry, the memory helping to make her laugh and relax.

"I love you Alex."

Alex kissed Kara's forehead and smiled, "I love you too nerd. Now let's fix this make up and make sure your hair looks right for these pictures ok." Alex fixed Kara's make-up and was lucky that her hair was willing to be styled without much fighting. Alex then did her own make-up, never more grateful that her hair was short and easy to style with some gel. They took their pictures together, took a good number more with Eliza and when they had a few minutes before the ceremony would start Kara was fidgeting with her fingers and pacing the short hallway they were standing in while Alex checked in with her team to make sure everything was locked down before the ceremony. When she had the green light she focused more on Kara who seemed a bit lost in thought.

"Kara, they are ready for you whenever you are."

Kara nodded, "nothing bad is happening right?" Alex looked to her mom and then back to Kara.

"Listen to me very carefully. If I could have I would have asked for some Secret Service agents or some new agents from the CIA or FBI to help my team, but that would have been paperwork hell." Kara smiled at that.

"Seriously Kara, I would never let anything ruin this day for you. Nothing bad is gonna happen because I won't let it." Kara eyed her sister, "you're carrying a gun under the dress aren't you?"

"As if you need to ask." Alex titled Kara's head to look at her directly. "I've got you baby sister and you get to enjoy this day ok? Nobody and nothing will ruin it because just like when we were kids I won't let it touch you. I walk in that room in front of you for a reason and it is not just because that is what the maid of honor is supposed to do. You might be bulletproof, but no one is gonna mess with you with me there." Kara nodded and hugged Alex tighter than she meant to, but Alex didn't correct her sister. When she let go, Kara nodded and pointed toward the room they were holding the ceremony in, "you can tell them I am ready."

Alex nodded and gave the orders over her coms. When her message was met with confirmation, she stood about 6 feet in front of Kara. The music was cued and Alex, true to her word, walked in first and despite being on high alert, she looked happy and no one would deny she looked stunning. Eliza and Kara waited and watched as Alex entered the larger hall.

"I know I don't call you my mom, but you have to know it is just because I can't stand to ever lose another person I called that ever again. I know you are my mom, at least in all the ways that matter, and I am so so sorry if I ever hurt your feelings by not saying it." Kara spoke so fast that Eliza almost missed it. The older woman turned to Kara and cupped her head in her hands.

"Kara, let me tell you something. Mothers never need to be told they are mothers. If you raise a child and love it, make sure they are safe and loved and cared for, then guess what? That child is your child. And you never hurt my feelings sweetheart. I figured deep down you just couldn't give that title away to anyone again and that is ok. No matter what, you are still my baby and a title is not ever gonna change that, ok?" Kara nodded and tried to will herself not to cry. Once they were composed, Eliza took her arm and led them into the large hall. Kara never felt more thankful that they chose a small wedding because even the number of people there seemed like too many. Still, she found herself gently brought to the front of the room were Alex already was standing near the officiant. Eliza took her seat next to Kelly in the front row of chairs and while the music continued to play extra bars in an effort to give Lena time to get into place, Kara looked around the room. They had asked to get married in the auditorium they usually do presentations and constellation shows in at the museum. This allowed them to make the room whatever hue or color they wanted, to have the room dark and lit only by artificial starlight and everything in between.

While all this happened at the front of the room, Lena was trying to calm herself down before walking in so that she didn't look a mess at her own wedding. She wasn't nervous or getting cold feet. Much like Kara, she was excited for certain, but also slightly weary of what might happen if they were both in the same room together being happy. The Luthor family was certainly not above crashing a party to prove a point. She was interrupted, by a rather booming voice.

"Pretty sure you are supposed to walk in there when the music plays right?" Lena looked up to see someone she had not expected to see here today: Clark Kent.

"I've never been a bride at a wedding, but I think that is how it works." Lena nodded, but was still confused.

"I thought you couldn't come because you were covering for Kara today."

"I am and after this I will be going right back out there, but I had something very important to do so here I am."

"Not going to stand up when they ask who has objections are you?" Lena smirked at her own joke and Clark smiled, he knew he deserved that one.

"No. After your rehearsal dinner the other night, some things that Alex and Ms. Grant said to me, well, they made me think about how I had been acting and I realize I haven't been at all fair to you. I know this won't make things better, but I wanted to offer you my literal hand so that you don't have to walk down the aisle alone."

"You want to walk me down the aisle?"

"If you let me, yes." Lena didn't know what the hell to think and her window to make a decision was small and closing fast.

"I know it seems like a trick Lena, but it is not. I know I have a lot to make up for, but let me do this for you and for Kara. Archaic though it may be, let me walk my cousin's bride down the aisle and give her away. The last daughter of Krypton deserves the best on her wedding day and as the last son of Krypton, I would like very much to see that she gets it. Besides, think of the heart attack Cat Grant will have when we walk in: a Luthor and a Super, arm in arm, and she can't write a story about it." Clark smiled as Lena laughed holding out his arm for Lena and without hesitating Lena accepted it.

"You have no idea how much this will mean to her." Clark nodded his head and they took steps forward as the music swelled. Kara was nervously still looking around the room when Lena first walked in and she was only brought back to the current moment when she heard an audible gasp from Cat Grant who was sitting right behind Eliza. Kara turned quickly and saw what everyone else in the room saw. She saw her bride walking down the aisle holding her cousin's arm. Kara started tearing up for a lot of reasons: Lena looked beautiful, more beautiful than Kara had ever seen her that she could remember. But it was the fact that her cousin showed up and had enough personal integrity to put aside an understandable blood feud, only to walk the sister of his mortal enemy down to aisle to marry his cousin.

When they got to the end of aisle, Kara all but lunched herself into Clark, almost knocking him down: something that made Alex laugh.

"I can't thank you enough for this." Kara pulled away slightly from her cousin and he smiled, with some tears in his eyes. "No need. I owe you both an apology and if you are willing maybe today can kick start that." Kara smiled and nodded, and Clark's only response was to reach and take Lena's hand and put it firmly in Kara's, holding it there for a moment. "You make each other happy. That is clear. And I am sorry that I ever made it harder for you to both live in that happiness. Be good to each other." Clark backed away from the couple and retreated to some chairs near the back of the room, Lena guessed he would only stay long enough to not cause a scene as he left to handle Kara's Supergirl duties for the day. Lena was brought back to her senses when Kara leaned over and kissed her cheek.

"You wore your hair down."

"I did. I take it you like it?" Kara blushed harder than Lena intended, and even Alex rolled her eyes.

"Very much." Alex couldn't take it: this was funny to watch, but they needed to move things along, and she could only stomach so much.

"Ok, save some for the honeymoon, ok?" Lena stopped teasing Kara, but Kara kissed Lena again. "You look beautiful."

"You do too." For all the conversations about their outfits for the wedding, Kara did end up wearing a dress and so did Lena, although Lena had every intention of changing into a suit for the reception.

Alex would tell you, that from her vantage point, she could see that both her sister and Lena were just staring at each other and likely had not heard a single word of the intro the officiant said to welcome their guests. The officiant called Lena's name…several times, before she was snapped from her focus on Kara. Alex shook her head and muttered something about them both being hopeless. Lena blushed slightly before turning to Kara.

"I know we picked this location for a lot of reasons, not the least of which was it was the last place anyone would guess to throw a wedding like ours. I will admit, however, that I had ulterior motives." Someone on staff quickly handed Lena a wireless remote and when Lena asked them too they dimmed the lights like they did when they had an auditorium full of people there to see the show on the star systems, planets and universe. Lena hit the remote and sure enough the domed ceiling above them soon showed the known components of their solar system. Lena knew she could have stopped right there, and Kara would have been touched that Lena did something like this for her, but Lena lost sleep trying to set this up and her wife deserved this, so on she went.

"I know we wanted and sort of needed a small wedding, but I also know that there are people that we both wish were here that can't be because we lost them a long time ago." Kara looked down for a second and nodded with a sad smile spread across her face.

"I wish I could bring them all back Kara. Your parents, my mom, all of them, but it turns out there are some things that money really can't buy. So, I tried to think of a way to make sure that everyone we love is at this wedding, even if they are far from our touch." Lena clicked the button again and the ceiling display began to slowly turn and soon zoomed in on a particular cluster of stars systems, what appeared to be moons and not much else. Kara looked and tried to pinpoint what she was looking at, but did not understand and Lena decided to spare her trying to guess. Knowing that their friends and family knew who Kara was, but not wanting others to know, she checked quickly with Alex, that the room was clear of the museum staff and when the agent nodded confused as to why it mattered, she gently pointed at the display above them.

"I took all the things you ever told me about your home. I read all the stuff I could understand or translate into a language I speak, and I pissed off every single expert in this country trying to find it and this is the best I could do."

Kara tilted her head like when a dog is trying to figure something out, "what am I looking at Lena?"

"While there is absolutely no way to know the exact location, that…is Krypton." Kara's eyes went wide and she looked again at the display, trying to recall what she had learned as a child. She remembered the moons and she assumed other things had been destroyed when Krypton died, but that was almost certainly the place where her home once was and that was enough to send Kara over the edge into more tears than Lena had planned for. Kara put her hand over her mouth and audibly cried, quickly, and rather instinctively, turning to Lena and crying with her face buried in her wife's neck. Lena held on to Kara and knew better than to try and soothe her tears right away: Kara, when overwhelmed with emotions, preferred to be allowed to have her feelings before anyone tried to calm her down. For what it was worth, no one else in that room was doing any better: even Cat Grant had to admit that her eyes seemed to be having an allergic reaction to something because Cat Grant certainly doesn't cry.

Lena caught Alex looking at the display and then looking back toward her, eyes very much brimming to the limit with tears. She pointed to the display and simply nodded at Lena several times before trying to brush away her tears without ruining her make up. After a few minutes, Kara's tears had slowed and her breathing became a bit more regular. She eventually lifted her head off Lena, but stayed close to her, resting their foreheads together.

"If I had known I would make you cry this much I would've waited, but…well, you deserve this Kara. I wish, more than anything else, that I could give you home back, bring your family back and have them share this world with you, but it is perhaps the one thing I can't do. What I can do, is give you home back, for a while anyway and make sure that you get married as close to home as possible. I know they aren't there anymore, but that space once held all the people who were responsible for you coming into this world. You deserve to have them here today and I think I owe them a rather big thank you, because the last thing they did with their life was make sure that you got to live yours and that life happened to include coming here and waltzing into my office with more confidence than a junior reporter had any right to have." Kara finally cracked a smile and that made Lean smile in response.

"I didn't grow up like you Kara. I didn't have a sibling who would fight for me no matter what, against any evil and never question how wrong I was in an argument. I didn't have parents who just wanted me to be happy. I didn't have friends either and I just assumed being a Luthor meant being alone. I even told myself that I like being alone. Then you came around and you wouldn't leave me alone no matter what I did." Kara smiled and finally lifted her head off Lena's.

"There's my girl. I know this morphed into my vows and I sort of don't care. Kara, I was never happy alone, no matter what I told myself. I told myself I would be selfish if I had anyone in my life because they would surely get hurt at some point. Then I met you and I had to tell myself that even harder because you were so bloody persistent and hell bent on being my friend. I find it a little ironic that you were telling yourself the same thing at the same time: trying to convince yourself that if I got too close to you my life would be in danger. And honestly on some level, we are both correct: with who we are, we will likely always be the target of someone's rage or ignorance. But I am telling you right now, that I would rather be in danger every day of my life with you as my wife then ever go back to spend a relatively "safe" life without you."

"I have a temper and I am stubborn: this is not news to anyone here. I will make impulsive decisions when I am mad or feel cornered and sometimes they will be rather dumb, so for that I will apologize in advance. But I promise that when you are being stubborn, impulsive and maybe even a little hot under the collar, I will try my best to offer you some levelheaded input. I always had my life very much laid out in front of me, even when I was little and it was so rigid and boring and, if I am being honest, very sad and pretty lonely. I never dreamt of getting married for a reason that wasn't a business deal. I never allowed myself to dream that my spouse would be a woman, because that was hoping for too much. I never saw myself being someone's mother, but then, once again, you showed up and now I cannot get the image of a baby with piercing blue eyes snuggled between us in bed out of my head. I want those things Kara and I want them with you. Our lives will probably never ever be boring, and I am ok with that, so long as I get to face the chaos with you. I didn't know how to end these vows so the best I can do is thank you from my whole heart for doing what no one before you ever bothered to do: thank you for refusing to leave me no matter how hard I pushed."

"No one ever fought to be in my life, if anything, there have been battles fought to get out of my life, so being with you was new and different and it scared me to death Kara. Sometimes it still scares me because no one EVER wanted me…not till you and sometimes I still don't know why you love me the way you do. I didn't know how it felt to be wanted and loved like that and I promise that sometimes I will still not know how to handle that love and devotion. What I do know, is that there is no one, on this or any planet, that I would rather walk through life with and learn exactly how it feels to be loved so completely. When we were still just friends, you assured me that you saw the real me and I thought you were full of it and maybe a bit naïve. Now, I can safely say that I feel incredibly seen and I very much look forward to spending my life with you and learning exactly how to let someone see me, faults and all and still show me love me enough to not run away. You were the first person who wanted Lena, not just a Luthor, and it would be my rather distinct honor in being your Lena, for as long as you'll have me."

Alex had to hand it to Lena, she made it through most of the vows with only some stray tears, Kara of course, did not fair a well and was still a mess of tears, but as Alex carefully switched sides to be standing behind Lena, she took notice that you couldn't have slapped the smile off Kara's face. Kara couldn't help herself and offered Lena a brief kiss that made everyone laugh gently.

"If you keep doing that, we will never get to the part where I get to kiss you for the first time as my wife." Lena smiled and deep down would never turn down affection from Kara.

Kara took a deep breath, "You've always been 'my' Lena. And not in a creepy and controlling way. There was never a time I knew you that I didn't care about you Lena, even back when it was truly just as a friend. You were never just a Luthor to me, you were never just anything to me and I hope I have made that clear to you the time we've known each other." Lena nodded and smiled at Kara.

"I know you didn't have the things I had growing up and I know you see that as some huge short coming, but if I am being honest Lena, I am kind of glad you didn't have all those things. I know that sounds awful, but for me, when I hear you talking about the things we do together that you didn't get to do growing up, well, it used to make me sad. It used to make me angry too, because it broke my heart to think of you as a little girl who just wanted her family to love her. You weren't asking for much Lena and I am so sorry they didn't give it to you, but what makes me feel better and less sad is that because they screwed up back then, I get to give those things to you now. I get to share my sibling with you, even today. Now, she has an attitude and is trigger happy on her best day, but I promise you now have a sibling who would fight for you no matter what, against any evil and never question how wrong you are in an argument." Lena smiled and glanced over her shoulder briefly at Alex who winked at her and grinned, "I gotcha kid." Kara smiled and when Lena looked back at her she kept going.

"I get to share my parent with you and I promise you all she cares about is if you and I are happy. Hell Lena, she might even take your side in an argument." Kara smiled at Eliza who looked every bit as determined as Alex did to assure Lena that what Kara said was true.

"I love that you want babies that look like me and any kid would be so lucky to have you as a mom Lena and you know what? When our kids are born or when we adopt them and bring them home, they are going to look at you and see exactly what I have always seen. They will see Lena Luthor, but they will see 'my' Lena Luthor. The media doesn't know that you like to play the piano and sing, or that you think its sexy when I speak in other languages or that you spoil the dog rotten and get upset when I scold her." Everyone laughed at that and for good reason.

"I know you said you never got to dream much about this day growing up and honestly, neither did I. My world was so different than this one and marrying for love was not the norm, it was the exception. Like you, I told myself I was ok with that. That marrying someone so our kids would be genetically healthy and strong made sense logically, but it never made me happy. But, this…planning our wedding, thinking about all the beautiful moments in our lives that got us here, thinking about all the moments that hurt and almost broke us, but didn't and thinking about all the stuff I want to still do, thinking of all of that is so much more amazing when I get to think about those moments with you in them."

"It might seem strange, but I think a lot about what you must've been like as a kid. What things made you smile, or cry. What made you mad. What broke your heart. I know there was more anger and heartbreak than there was smiling and again Lena I am so sorry for that, but the thing I can promise you today is that I want to spend the rest of our lives evening the balance of those experiences. Everyone before me laid such pain and hatred at your feet and they wanted you to pick it up and you didn't. You chose to go against what the world laid out for you and if you don't think that was brave I can assure you it was. You were brave enough to tell the world that you deserved better and you weren't settling for anything less. I promise I am going to find all the things that make you smile. I am going to find the things that make you cry because they are so beautiful, and your heart is too full to not cry. I will destroy and silence every single thing that breaks your heart and if I have my way, those things will never get close enough to you to break your heart."

"So yeah, you are right, back when we met I didn't leave you alone. I didn't let you push me away just because you were afraid of what vulnerability I might see. I didn't walk away from you simply because we were fighting. I don't always pick up social cues perfectly the first time, but I know the one thing I did right was not running away simply because you told that what I faced if I stayed was scary. You remember when you told me that: that I should leave while I had the chance because what might pop up if I stayed would be scary?" Lena nodded and Kara gently tilted Lena's head up to make eye contact.

"You remember what I said back to you?" Lena nodded.

"You told me that I don't scare you."

"And then you said?"

"I said that you had no idea what you were talking about and that if you truly loved me like you said you did you were an idiot." Kara smiled and everyone chuckled.

"Yep. You said all that and then I said one more thing before I kissed you. What was it?"

"You said that you were my idiot and loved me in a way that made you feel whole and…"

Kara pushed gently, "and?"

Lena swallowed her tears, "and nothing that came from my past scared you and that the only thing that scared you to your core was living a life without me. Then you kissed me."

Kara blushed and smirked, "yeah I did. I meant it back then Lena and I mean it today. I don't care what monster is under your bed, as long as I am the one in that bed with you. I don't care what skeletons are in your closet because I am super good at cleaning out closets. I don't care what voice in your head tells you that you aren't enough or that you don't deserve to be loved and happy because there will never again be a day where I am not right there with you and my voice is louder than any ghost from the past. I know you sometimes think that one day I'll wake up and see something I can't handle, but that will never ever happen Lena. Those things in your past that still hurt you, I'm not scared of them and I am not scared to see you be vulnerable and upset. Even if I wasn't who I am, those monsters that have convinced you that no one can ever love a Luthor and therefore can never love you, the real monster they are gonna have to deal with now is me. Cuz yeah, you are 'my' Lena and that means you don't have to do this alone anymore or ever again. We do this, this whole rest of our lives thing, together, and that I can promise you with absolute certainty." Kara barely finished the last word before Lena kissed her and did so hard. It was clear they had no intention of breaking this kiss so Alex jumped in and warned the officiant.

"We will be here till tomorrow if you go at their pace, say whatever needs to be said to make it legal because they aren't coming up for air this time." The officiant did as Alex suggested and honestly neither Lena nor Kara heard them actually be pronounced married and Alex suspected that neither of them cared.


	14. You Made Her Sing Again

When they had planned the wedding, Kara and Alex taken it upon themselves to find the safest venue for the party afterwards, leaving Lena to ultimately pick the venue for the wedding itself. That being said, it was Alex who found this venue and when she explained to Kara that a nearby hotel was shut down for major renovations Kara understood what her sister was suggesting. The majority of the work was being done to the guest rooms, but their ballroom had been the first thing to be updated and finalized. Alex had thrown her badge around a bit to get the manager to consider them using the space. Then when that failed, Alex did something she swore she would never do: she threw Lena's name out to see if that would pull the string. And in a sense it did, but it wasn't Lena's name that got him to agree to allow the party before the hotel was open; it was Kara's. The manager had read the article Kara had written about the Holocaust survivor and was moved by the piece, having already been a fan of Kara's work. He quickly offered Alex the space and whatever assurances she needed to keep the names of those involved out of the press.

The end result was more than Alex expected and was more than Kara ever dared hope for. The ballroom was stunning and offered them more room than they would ever need, but this allowed for a large dance floor, a full bar and plenty of room for the guests to mingle and enjoy the party. They had set up a table for Lena and Kara to sit at, allowing Alex to sit with her mother and girlfriend, along with Cat. Before food was served everyone mingled and Lena had been talking to Jess, only to find her way over to the bar. While the bartender poured her drink she felt someone stand next to her and she wasn't surprised to see it was Alex.

"That was something else you pulled off with the star maps. I don't think I have ever seen her that happy."

"I was glad to do it. Not anything close to getting her home back, but it was the best I could do given the circumstances."

"Oh come off it Lena, even you have to realize what you gave her was something no one else has ever been able to give her. My dad tried to find it with Clark's help. I tried to find it with more technology than my father could have ever dreamt of and we never even got close to the right system. You did that and as a wedding present I will admit in public that you did something that I couldn't do."

"Alexandra Danvers admitting that she fell short on a mission: a rare moment indeed." Alex elbowed the bride gently and they both laughed as the bartender handed Lena her drink.

"I know what it meant to her so trust me I know I pulled off something that before had been impossible. Still, I guess in my head it wasn't anything Kara wouldn't have done for me."

"Yeah there isn't much my sister wouldn't do for you. In fact, I am not sure such a thing exists: you are both so freakin helplessly in love with each other." The bartender handed Alex a beer and they both turned around to see Kara chatting with Cat.

"There are worse things Alex." Alex and to give her that point: being in love at the level Kara and Lena were wasn't a bad thing at all; everyone should be so lucky.

"Fair enough. Well, we should go eat I suppose or Kara is gonna be grumpy soon." Lena knew this to be true so she quickly joined Kara by slipping behind her and wrapping her arms around her waist and resting her head on her shoulder.

"I hate to interrupt, but Alex suggested we let them feed us soon so we avoid National City's hero becoming hangry." Lena punctuated her sentence with a quick kiss to Kara neck which made the blonde giggle and made Cat roll her eyes.

"Christ, you two are worse than I was after my second marriage. For god sake Kara I taught you better than to giggle like that in public." Lena smirked and kissed her wife's neck again, just to mess with Cat.

"You called Kara the right name. Must be because it's a special occasion." Cat waved her hand dismissively, "it won't happen again I assure you. Now please let's eat. Kara become positively insufferable when she is hungry." In an effort to avoid a grumpy Kara, food was served quickly once the couple sat down and for about 30 minutes everyone seemed to be perfectly content to just relax and enjoy their food. Kara appeared to perk up with more energy after being fed and she asked Lena multiple times when they would have dessert. Lena promised that once Alex made her speech and they had their dance, that it would then be time for cake. Alex seemed to be painfully aware of what time it was because she was speaking to the DJ as he handed her the microphone.

"Hi, everyone. I am gonna steal your attention for a quick minute and even though this is a small party I don't feel like projecting my voice so I will be using this mic regardless of how many of you there are. When I started writing this speech I thought about writing two separate ones: one to focus on Kara and one to focus on Lena. But that seemed to go against what we are here today to celebrate so what I ended up with and what you all have to endure because I have a microphone is a combined speech. It is no real secret that when Kara came to live with us, I was, less than enthused about having a sister. I didn't want to share my parents, my room, my life with some random person who literally showed up on our porch one day. It wasn't because Kara isn't loveable or that she was somehow less of a bundle of sunlight back then. I was just being a brat: I didn't want to share what I felt was mine. Of course over time things changed and I fell in love with Kara's personality just like everyone in this room has done. I felt that pull to protect her and be a big sister to her and that bratty attitude was replaced with a very committed dedication to protecting my sister from the nasty things this world has to offer. I had sort of hoped I could protect her forever and let her live a somewhat average life. Of course, that is not what happened and in a twist, she ended up saving me which allowed her to embrace the person she had always been, but who we had begged her to hide away. I will always feel a little guilty for asking her to hide that part of herself, because it wasn't fair, it was more than a little selfish and all these years later I can attest that hiding any part of who you are sucks and I wish more than anything I could give Kara that time back, but since I cannot do that, I am hell bent on making sure that the rest of her life gives her all the room she could want in which to be herself."

"Now in wanting to give Kara space to be herself, whatever form that took, meant swallowing some things that as a big sister I was not wild about. It meant not standing in her way when she wanted to embrace her family heritage, it meant being her boss as work, but not accidently being her sister at work and it meant being the quiet supporter of the girl who had filled that role for me our whole lives. What I was not prepared for and what I was most shocked by was that I never thought I was going to have to invite the enemy to dinner. Ouch! Jeez Kara that hurt." Alex turned her head to see Kara getting a little fired up and reaching for her other shoe, the first one having hit Alex between her shoulders. Alex watched as Lena put her hand over Kara's and whispered something soothing in her sister's ear, causing her sister to drop the shoe in her hand and relax her shoulders. Lena turned back to Alex and nodded for her to continue.

"See in all fairness, I deserved that shoe to the back. However, if Kara had let me finish…everyone here knows that contrary to popular belief: the last name Luthor is not synonymous with evil. When I say I deserved that show that Kara threw it is because back when I first found out they were dating, I reacted badly. I said things with the intention of them hurting. I said things I KNEW would cut to the core of Lena's heart and would make Kara mad at me. I did everything I could to shame my sister into making some other choice because I, like many people, believed only what I had read. I saw the name Luthor and assumed Kara was in danger and over my dead body would someone hurt Kara. What I did not realize right away was that once again I was demanding that my sister hide part of who she is to make me feel better. It had nothing to do with Lena being a woman, clearly. I saw danger when I looked at Lena and I swore to keep Kara safe from danger. What I had not planned on, was that I could be so very very wrong about this situation and about Lena. The night I learned they were dating, I said some of the meanest things I could to Lena and she just stood there and took it. She didn't fight me and she held Kara back from fighting me on her behalf. She instead stood in front of me and told me that if I wanted to attack her to get on with it. This of course made me look like the biggest asshole alive. I, of course, was not willing to admit this, instead I told Kara to bring Lena to the office first thing the next day."

"When we got there the next day, I sent Kara to train and she begged me not to do what I was about to do. Lena called her off and said that this had to happen. Kara, true to form, allowed Lena the chance to prove herself and as she walked away she told me that if I ever loved her at all I would realize that I did not need to do this, that Kara could love both me and Lena. It was one of the few times Kara ever spoke with no emotion in her voice and it is so scary when she does that. In that moment, I knew…I knew that if I forced Kara to choose between me and Lena, she would pick Lena and it would be no one's fault but my own. So I put myself and Lena in a training room and I tried to punch her, I tried to get her to punch me back. I insulted her, her family, almost everything else I could think of and all she did was duck my punches or block them. She took A LOT of abuse from me and she never fought back, until I said something against Kara. I ended up saying a lot of things about Kara, none of which were true and I did not mean a single word of it, I was just trying to make her mad. It worked. She punched me harder than I ever remember being hit and then while I was shocked she pinned me to the wall and with tears running down her face she defended my sister's honor when my sister was nowhere to be seen. She got in my face, screaming about how wrong I was, about how much she loved my sister and how I had no idea that pain my sister carries with her always. There was no big bad CEO, there was no Luthor legacy, there was no intimidation present in that room. Lena Luthor had me by my neck against a wall and behind all the tears running down her face I saw the same pain I know Kara has. The pain of having lost everything you thought meant something to you and finally, after what felt like forever, finding someone who knows that pain and wants to shoulder the burden with you. I never wanted to be the person who made Kara's pain worse or add to the pain she holds, but that is what I did that day."

"I learned everything I needed to know about Lena that day. I learned that I did not need to protect Kara 24/7 anymore, because I was not the only person who wanted that job. Someone else wanted it and was ready to defend Kara, even if that meant decking her big sister. Over the last few months I tried to write down things I know or have learned about Lena, but it did not seem like this was my place to share those things about her. Instead, I would like to focus on one of the beigest things I noticed in the time my sister and Lena have been together." Alex turned her back towards the small group of guests and looked at Lena.

"When our dad died, she stopped singing, which is a shame because she has a stunning voice. She stopped singing when he died and then one day when she was making popcorn for movie night, I heard it. For the first time in YEARS, I heard her singing in her kitchen. It was only a few bars of a song, but I heard it. Then two weeks later, she had to shower at my place because her water heater was broken and I heard it again. This time she sang the whole damn song. I didn't know why she was singing, but I knew it was because she felt happy. And months alter when I knew when you had started dating I could piece things together. That night I heard her singing in the kitchen was the night you asked her out on a date after everyone had left work for the night. The day she sang in the shower, was three days after she returned the gesture and asked you out: only to fly you to another country for the date. And now: she sometimes still hides when she sings, except of course, if you are playing the piano. If you play, she will sing, its like she can't stop herself. And maybe to everyone here, this seems dumb, but let me tell you something that other people in this room don't understand because they aren't us. I HATE it when Kara is quiet, and I know you hate it when Kara is quiet." Lena nodded her head to acknowledge that Alex was correct.

"Why do we hate it when she gets quiet?" Alex held the mic close to Lena and the heiress swallowed her tears and answered simply. "Because it means she is sad."

Alex nodded and turned back to the guest, "because it means she is sad. Losing her home caused her to be quiet, and then our dad died and I didn't hear her sing for years. Sure she talked, but she was never the same. Then out of nowhere, there she was, singing again like she had never stopped." Alex looked back at Lena, "when she stopped singing my heart broke harder for her and after a few years I was certain I would, we would, never hear her sing again. Then you asked her out on a date. Because of you, she isn't quiet anymore. And there is nothing on this, or any planet I can give you to thank you for that. So let me make this very clear: I never once hated you, I was scared for Kara and I let that blind my reason and for that I am sorry. I never hated you and I never can because, yes, you make her happy and you love her all that, but what matters to me and what I will always love you for is that even when I was giving you 1000 reasons to leave, you didn't. You didn't leave, you stayed, you fought for her, and because of that, everyone in this room gets to hear her sing at holiday parties, at karaoke nights and one day I bet you'll get to hear her sing to your kids. So, thank you, because I hate it when she is quiet and when she is around you, she never shuts up. Lucky us."

Alex grabbed her bottle of beer of the table and raised it above her head and everyone around the room followed suit. "So I would like to propose a toast to my sister and my sister in law. When Kara is quiet she is sad and when Lena is quiet she is usually scared or angry. In any event, I hope your lives together are loud and I hope more than anything else that we all get to hear every single moment of it. To Kara and Lena." This was met with echoes of the toast and just as Alex put her beer down she felt like she was being tackled by a line-backer. Kara had, of course, wrapped her sister in a tight hug and was only barely allowing Alex room to breathe.

Alex returned the hug and offered Kara a quick kiss on her forehead before she was released from her sister's arms. Of course, right behind Kara, Lena stood with eyes full to the brim with tears and playing with her hands. Alex knew that Lena would likely never reach out for a hug herself, so Alex held out her hand to her sister's bride. "Come here kid." Lena sort of fell into Alex and instantly Alex felt her shoulder become more and more wet with Lena's held back tears. Kara backed off a few feet to give Alex and Lena space. She didn't ever like it when Lena cried, but she liked giving Alex and Lena opportunities to support each other and sometimes that meant letting Alex be the one to wipe away tears.

Lena eventually pulled away and tried to pull herself together, "that was a very lovely speech. I really appreciate how much work you must have put into it. I know Kara loved it too." Lena smiled and Alex nodded.

"Well, Kara has heard me say nice stuff about her most of her life, you deserved to get in on the party too. You both deserved that moment Lena and I was glad to give it to you."

Lena smiled, "well thank you. It was not ever something I really expected to have so I appreciate you taking the time to say all that about me and about Kara."

"Yeah, well I meant it Lena. She stopped doing a lot of things when dad died. Then she met you and little by little those things came back and I like this Kara better than quiet, sad Kara." Lena nodded, "I love any version of Kara, but her happy always makes me happier for sure. Anyway, we should get cake cut so Kara can get her sugar boost before we dance." Alex nodded and began to walk away, when Lena quickly leaned over and kissed her gently on the cheek.

"Thanks again Alex." Lena walked away to join Kara and Alex smiled to herself.

"You're welcome kid."


	15. No Harm In Trying

After things settled down after the wedding, both Kara and Lena expected to hear from Lillian or one of her henchmen, but they were surprised when nothing came to pass. A month after the wedding had happened, Lena was back at her usual work schedule, with Elsa still in toe and on this day she was waiting for Kara to return after she had been pulled away during their lunch date for a Supergirl emergency. Lena was doing mostly paperwork so aside from Kara having to leave abruptly it had been a relatively quiet day. That should have been the first sign to Lena that things were about to shift.

Around 2pm Lena heard voices outside her office and soon Alex was walking in her office in full tactical gear, with Jess a few paces behind her.

"Alex? Is everything ok? Is she alright?" Lena stood from her desk with a worried expression and Alex tried to wave her off. "She is fine, I promise. That being said, you need to come with me, now." Lena sat back down and tried to calm herself down, "if she is ok then I really do have work I need to tend to here."

"Lena, I mean it. You need to come with me. Jess, clear her schedule for the week please." Jess normally would've looked to Lena for a final word, but she followed Alex's direction mostly because her tone suggested that it was something that would need to happen.

Lena crossed her arms in front of her frowning, "if I am to come with you anywhere I get to know what the hell is going on."

"Lena, please. I will tell you in the car. Just please, PLEASE come with me." Lena heard Alex's voice crack a bit and she dropped her arms and went to Alex and made direct eye contact with her sister in law. "Why do you look sad and worried if she is fine?"

"Get in the car and I will tell you."

"Tell me now." Alex sighed and resigned herself to telling Lena.

"Lillian died this morning." Lena laughed the second Alex finished her sentence and shook her head.

"It's cute that you believe she is really dead. She has died about 5 times in my life Alex. It's how she works without me tracking her movements."

Alex had expected this reaction because Kara told her to brace for it. "This time it's real Lena. She had a plate in her foot from a ski accident and those things have serial numbers. My team matched it themselves. I promise you it is her and this time it's not a ploy to trick you. She is dead." Lena remembered the injury from her childhood, but even faced with some damning evidence she was unsure how to respond.

"Well if she is dead, then I am perfectly safe here. No real reason to go home and lose the workday."

"Lena you know that's not true. Kara is helping local police, so you need to come with me. She will meet us at home." Lena opened her mouth to say something, but found that she had nothing to counter Alex with this time. Instead she found herself quietly packing her things and following Alex from the office with Elsa on her leash trotting next to her. Once in the car, Alex expected to be answering questions, but instead she was met with a silent Lena who was gently petting Elsa as they drove home. When they got to the penthouse they rode up in the elevator silently and every moment of dead quiet made Alex more and more concerned. Once inside their home, Lena seemed to launch into CEO mode.

"I need to call my lawyer to give him a heads up and to check what mess this will make. While I do that, maybe you can order some food for dinner, Kara will be hungry when she gets home."

"Lena, do yourself a favor and take a break and process this."

"What is there to process Alex? It isn't like she ever loved me, so there is literally no love lost." Lena spoke as she typed an email to her law team and when she looked back at Alex the agent could see how very hard Lena was trying to hold back tears.

"Lena, it is ok to be upset. Even if you guys never got along. Stuff like this can still hurt. Sometimes it hurts because the possibility of reconciliation is gone for good."

Lena scoffed and rolled her eyes, "what would you have me do Alex? Cry, scream, lament that my mother was indifferent toward me on her best day? I will pass thanks."

"Lena I am not telling you to cry, but even if you are pissed, holding it in will hurt you in the long run."

"I see. So you would like me to raise hell and yell about how she hated me from the moment she knew I was alive until the very moment she died. Or that I was never as good as Lex in her eyes. Or that she blamed me because her husband cheated on her with my mother. There is always the point that no matter what I did, no matter how successful I was, it was never fucking enough for her. Is that what you want?!" Lena was seething and Alex saw her shake slightly as tears were running down her face. Alex took a step toward Lena and Lena quickly stepped away.

"Lex fucked up left, right and sideways and he was the golden boy. I went to the top schools, I got a handful of degrees, I run two companies. I did all of that and I was never enough for her. I did everything right!"

Alex nodded, "I know you did Lena."

Lena kept repeating that phrase over and over while becoming more and more upset. Alex knew to stay a few feet away to give Lena a minute and some space. She did however hit her button on her coms, but she wasn't calling for Kara. Shortly thereafter Clark, showed up on the balcony."

"What's wrong?"

"Long story, I need you to go get my mom and bring her here. Kara is busy and will be home soon and I am out of my depth." Clark took one last look at Lena and nodded. "You got it." Clark left quickly and Alex knew that he'd return with her mother and in the meantime she just needed to help keep Lena relatively calm. Alex watched as Lena finally sat on the sofa, but stayed on edge, continuing to talk to herself in an aggressive tone. As much as Alex wanted to step in, there was a reason she sent Clark for her mother. Lena didn't need Alex to assure her, she needed a parent to tell her whatever she was feeling was ok and valid.

A few minutes passed before Clark returned with Eliza in his arms. Eliza was about to ask for details, but Lena crying answered a few questions.

"Kara's ok?" Alex nodded. "Lillian died. My team confirmed it. She was ok, but angry and then this so we called for you." Eliza nodded and seemed to understand better. Eliza walked over to the sofa and took a seat next to Lena.

"I see they called in the big guns." Lena tried to make the joke, but her intense emotional state made it come out sad more than sassy.

"I'm glad Alex called for me Lena. I always want to be here when one of my kids is hurting."

Lena scoffed, not meaning to. "Oh, didn't you hear? I'm no one's child, not anymore. Just another orphan which is insane because I am an adult. But who cares right? Just one less Luthor in the world."

Eliza offered a sad smile to Lena and reached out, gently grabbing her hand and Alex was sort of shocked when Lena did not pull away. "Lena, I am sorry this happened, and I know that part of your family is gone, but you aren't alone. You have Kara, Alex and me and I meant what I said Lena. You are every bit as much my child as Kara and Alex are."

"You should be careful. Every parent I have had is dead. So you probably should run while you can."

"I am not running Lena."

Lena groaned and shook her head, "God, you are just like Kara. You should've left when you had the chance to. Bad things, evil things follow me. Trauma is always present in my life so why don't you all leave. Everyone else has." Lena pulled her hand away and Eliza shook her head.

"Lena, let me be clear. I am not leaving, ok? I don't abandon my kids."

"I'm not your kid1 I'm not anyone's kid! I am no one's little girl! Not anymore." Lena jumped from the sofa and paced the room.

"Lena…"

"No, don't 'Lena' me. I was 4 when my mom died, then my father found me and he tried, but in my heart I know he only truly loved his wealth. Lex was a sociopath and Lillian only ever loved power. It didn't matter what I did. I was smart and quiet. I worked hard all my life, even as a child. I was good across the board. That's what my father said when he brought me home: be a good girl. I was. All my life! I was a good girl." Lena whispered the last sentence she said because she was crying so hard and if it was possible, this cut to Eliza and Alex's heart all the more. Eliza stood up and waved Alex off, causing the agent to sit on the now empty couch while her mother did her best to comfort Lena.

"I know you were a good girl Lena. I know you were. And you were so young when you lost your mom. You did what you had to do to survive. It is not your fault that those people died. Just like with Kara losing Krypton. You were both tasked with healing from a profound pain and I am so sorry no one helped you then, but I am here now." Lena's lip quivered and she took a shaky breath. "I never expected us to be close, but I did everything right."

Eliza nodded her head and ran her hand across Lena's arm, "I know you did honey. I know you did."

"Then why didn't they love me?" Lena looked at Eliza and desperately wanted an answer, but she knew her mother in law did not have an answer. At least not one she wanted to hear.

"I don't know Lena, but it was not because you aren't loveable. They didn't deserve you honey, and I am sorry they never showed you the love you deserved. But you don't have to hold it all in and pretend that it doesn't hurt. You can lean on your family right now." Lena opened her mouth and before she could object, Eliza interrupted her, "we are your family Lena so save it. You have your wife, my little girl who I have never seen be more in love with a person in her whole life. You have Alex and you have me, ok? We've got you."

Lena nodded and tried to suck in her tears before allowing Eliza to hug her. An action that resulted in more tears instantly. She sort of fell into her mother in law and Eliza held onto Lena for a while and just gave her time to let out all the tears, pain and anger. Eventually she got them settled on the couch, leaving Alex to go and send Clark off. Alex knew her best bet was to let her mother take lead on this until Kara could come home.

At that moment Kara was finishing helping local police with the explosion that ultimately ended the life of the oldest Luthor. Alex told her that her agents could handle it, but Kara pointed out that Lena would never believe anyone else's report on this except Kara's. Lena would likely demand to see the body to confirm what she had been told and only Kara's assurance would be enough to confirm the news for her. The trade-off was that Alex stay with Lena and keep her supported and safe. Kara didn't like not being with Lena, but she knew this had to be how they handled it.

After about 45 minutes Lena had calmed down, but she would not let go of Eliza and that was how Kara found them when she retuned home. Kara allowed Elsa to be excited over her coming home and after greeting the dog she took a spot next to Alex who was still watching from a distance.

"How did you get her home?"

"I told her the truth. You were right, she wouldn't leave the office until I told her." Kara nodded, "how bad was it?"

"Bad enough that I called for Mom. Good thing too. I think I pushed her too hard to feel her feelings and she wouldn't let me offer her physical support like a hug and I knew she needed you or mom, so I sent Clark."

Kara nodded, "you did the right thing Alex." Kara offered her sister a hug and quick kiss before heading to where Lena was still with Eliza, resting her head in her lap. Kara sat on the coffee table and reached over to move Lena' hair from her face. It was this gesture that caught Lena's attention, causing her to make eye contact with Kara.

"Hey pretty girl." Kara saw Lena smile for a second before her tears started up again.

"It's ok love, I'm home and I see you are in very good hands." Kara offered her mother a thankful smile before looking back to Lena.

"Can I get you anything love?" Lena shook her head no and Kara nodded. "Ok. Alex and I are going to go sort out dinner ok?" Kara started to stand up, but Lena caught her hand.

"You are sure. It's her?" Kara sat back down and nodded. "I am sorry Lena. I stayed and processed the scene with the cops and I was there when Alex's team worked the body. There is no way this is a body double. It is her." Lena nodded and let go of Kara's arm.

"You want to go take a shower babe? Maybe snuggle in bed till dinner comes?" Kara had no clue how to help soothe Lena's pain, so she blindly started offering the things that usually help Lena feel comforted. Lena didn't speak, instead she gripped Eliza's leg tighter and Kara quickly backed off.

"It's ok Lena. I'm not going to move you and Eliza isn't leaving. You just holler if you need me, ok?" Lena reached for Kara one more time.

"I love you. I'm sorry."

"Lena you have nothing to be sorry for. Sometimes when I have bad days I need you, other times I need Alex or Eliza and sometimes I need to be alone. I never, for one second doubted that you love me." Kara leaned down, kissed Lena and covered her with a blanket before joining Alex in the kitchen.

"How she doing?" Alex questioned as she reached for the takeout menus the couple collected over their time together. Kara shook her head, "I have no idea. She is clinging to Eliza like a life raft, so I am guessing not great." Kara leaned against the counter while Alex called in dinner after making an executive decision while Kara looked off into space. When Alex hung up she tapped Kara's shoulder.

"What planet did your brain just go to?"

"I was listening to her heartbeat in case she needs me. I hate not being able to help her and this is all I can do."

"I know you hate it Kara, but this time there isn't anything you can do, but love her through it."

"It's not enough Alex!" Alex didn't flinch at Kara's outburst. "It's going to have to be enough Kara. Mom is here and so are we, she is supported and loved by family. That's enough! You can't fight this monster for her."

"She's fought mine."

"No, she has fought your's with you. There is a difference Kara. When she is ready, just be there for her. Give her what that family never did: a safe place to fall apart and come together again." Kara nodded her head and their discussion was cut short when Lena calmly called for Kara. The hero returned to the coffee table to see Lena sitting up.

"Hey love, Alex ordered food for all of us." Kara offered Lena a gentle kiss and the CEO nodded. "I think I want to shower and change, maybe lie down for a bit before food comes." Kara nodded and before Lena could say anything more Kara had her in her arms, bridal style and she was being carried into the bedroom.

"Show off." Lena flashed as brief smile as Kara gently put her down in their bathroom.

"You ok in here or do you want me to tun the water and join you?"

"Hmm, if you join me I'll never actually get clean and your mother and sister would hear us having sex. Better be solo shower this time." Lena offered some subtle flirting and Kara smiled and nodded.

"I'll come get you when food comes." Kara left Lena to her shower and she returned to the kitchen, moving to help Alex and Eliza set the table. Kara looked at Eliza and smiled, "thank you for coming and helping. I am not sure Lena would have let Alex comfort her in the same way."

Eliza kissed the side of Kara's head, "I am glad Alex sent for me. Gotta keep my girls cared for when they're hurting." Kara smiled and went to being putting silverware down when her head shot up, causing her to drop the forks and spoons on the table and run toward the master suite. Alex was concerned and started to follow Kara.

"Kara?"

"Stay here, I got it." Alex knew better than to push and she let Kara go. Once in the bathroom she called out for Lena's attention.

"Lena? Baby you ok?" Kara was met with no response, so she opened the shower door to see Lena standing under the water, but not really moving. The only reason Kara came running was that Lena had whispered Kara's name and of course the hero heard it. Kara quickly shed her shirt and pants and joined Lena in the shower. She gently touched Lena's shoulder and pulled her into her so she was flush against Kara's body. Lena gripped her wife hard, not that Kara could feel the pressure register, but she felt Lena's muscles tighten.

"I hate this. Why am I upset about a woman who never actually cared about me?"

"I don't have a perfect answer Lena, but maybe it's because the little girl who deserved better realizes that it can never come to pass." Lena nodded and tried to nestle closer to Kara. "Let's get you dried off and into some comfy clothes." Lena shook her head and wouldn't let Kara go."

"Tighter." Kara's heart broke for her wife and she continued to hold Lena.

"Why tighter?"

"Because I need to feel something else. Something grounding and right now I want pain I can control. Which means either you hold me tighter or I do something I will regret." Kara frowned.

"I'm not going to hurt you Lena." Lena nodded, "I know, but you can hold me tighter and that will be enough, and it makes me feel safe." Kara nodded and turned off the shower and then quickly grabbed a towel for Lena. "If you get dry and dressed, I will gladly hold you for as long as you need." Lena nodded and got out of the shower leaving Kara to grab a towel for herself, following Lena into the bedroom. Kara handed Lena some of her clothes and Lena smiled.

"You just like seeing me in your clothes."

"I could make a sex joke right now, but I won't. I know you like my clothes when you are upset."

"I do because no matter how much I wash our clothes, yours always smell like you. Makes me feel safe." Kara waited until Lena had slipped on her favorite shirt from college before she hugged her and nuzzled Lena's neck.

"Then you can wear my clothes whenever you want. I like making you feel safe. Why don't you lie down and get comfy, then I will make good on my promise ok?" Lena nodded and crawled into the bed, spooning one of Kara's pillows. Kara put on clothes for herself and joined Lena who quickly grabbed hold of the hero. Kara held Lena tighter than usual, but she heard Lena's heartbeat calm down and she felt her body relax slightly.

"Better?" Lena nodded, "much."

"What about the other stuff?"

"I can't very well hurt myself when you are holding me now can I."

"I'm serious Lena." Lena sighed and knew there was no escaping what she had said a few minutes earlier.

"The urge will go away in time Kara, I promise."

"That means you still are thinking about it now though right?" Lena sighed deeper and instead of trying to continue this back and forth she pushed herself up and threw her leg over Kara's body, effectively straddling the hero.

"Yes I still am thinking about and if I were alone I cannot promise you I wouldn't be trying to find a way to cut, but as your mother pointed out many times so far today, I am not alone. I have you with me right here and your family waiting for our dinner to come. I know logically, in my brain that I am safe because I have the people who love me here and that is enough to keep me safe. It will just take a little time for the part of my brain who used it to cope to understand that we do not have to do that anymore. We…I have someone who loves me earnestly and I don't have to punish myself for wanting to feel loved anymore." Lena meant for this to make Kara feel better, but when she was met with tears running down Kara's face.

"Hey, that was supposed to make you feel better, why the tears?" Kara used her powers just enough to sit up, while still holding Lena in her lap so that they were basically nose to nose. "Because you never should have felt like wanting to be loved was a punishable offense Lena. You deserved so much more than what you got, and I hate thinking of all the times you didn't have people who loved you waiting just outside your door."

Lena ran her fingers through Kara's hair and allowed herself to be held up by Kara. "I know how much it hurts you Kara and I so love how much you want to reach back in time and protect me, but you can't undo what has been done." Kara cut off Lena with a searing kiss and then gently rested her forehead against Lena's.

"Yes I can. I can love you so much, for the rest of our lives, to the point where you forget how it felt to not have that in your life." Lena smiled and offered Kara a kiss on her forehead.

"That sounds like a pretty lovely life. You got yourself a deal. Now, I heard Elsa barking a few minutes ago which means dinner is here. How about we go feed my hungry hero?" Kara nodded and let Lena get off the bed first, thus allowing Kara to follow suit and head out of the bedroom. Once in the kitchen they saw Alex and Eliza getting food out of the bags and laying them out on the counter with Elsa sitting nearby begging. Kara broke away from Lena temporarily to feed the dog, leaving Lena to join Alex in unloading the food.

"You doing ok kid?" Lena smiled at the nickname that seemed to be her's indefinitely now even though she and Alex were not many years apart in age. "Your sister took very good care of me and I can't stay in bed forever. So, no, I'm not ok, but I will be and in the meantime I know I am not dealing with this alone." Alex abandoned the food bag and leaned over, pressing a kiss to the side of Lena's head and giving her a quick hug.

"My offer still stands Lena, it will always stand ok? Even when Kara is home, you can call me if you need to." Lena nodded and if she was pushed to admit it, she would tell people that it felt so wonderful to have a big sister like Alex who, no doubt, would come running if Lena called for her in a crisis. Kara returned from feeding the dog and took a look at the food Alex ordered.

"Did you order extra pot stickers?" Alex rolled her eyes, "Kara I paid a substantial sum of money for them to send me all the pot stickers they had. My apologies if it isn't enough." Kara flicked Alex's ear and they collapsed into sibling play wrestling that made Lena smile because it was funny and offered everyone a sense of normalcy. Of course this was stopped dead when Eliza whistled sharply using her fingers inside her mouth, causing both women to stop their play wrestling.

"You are both too old to do that and it always devolves into real wrestling and without anything to dumb down her powers Kara would likely hurt you Alex so knock it off and let's eat." Lena watched as her wife and Alex mumbled apologies as they returned to getting food laid out. Lena grabbed a few containers and followed Eliza back into the dining room, sitting in her usual seat for when she and Kara have guests.

"You'd think at their ages they would know better." Eliza winked at Lena who returned the smile.

"I've seen them fight harder over less so it sort of doesn't faze me anymore. Though I suppose I should ask them to curtail it before we have kids. Last thing I need is an army of superpowered kids fighting each other because they saw mommy fight Aunt Alex." Lena smiled at the bizarre thought and she didn't notice Eliza smiling at her until she looked up from her plate.

"What?"

"Nothing, but it sounds like a nice image. My grandchildren giving you and Kara the same heart attacks she and Alex gave me and their dad. I look forward to the frantic phone calls from Kara asking how to raise a baby with powers, of course I didn't raise her from a baby so I doubt I would be able to tell her much about supernatural child rearing."

Lena bit the bullet, "you don't think it's weird right? Us having kids so soon after we got married and on the heels of this most current nightmare."

"Lena, if I learned one thing in this life, it's that it is no one else's business when you have your kids or if you want them. If you and Kara are ready, then it's a good time. End of story. I am happy to become a grandma anytime, but I am a very patient woman." Lena was grateful for the calm reaction because even though she and Kara had been talking about kids lately she was not sure about sharing this with literally anyone else.

"Well, of all the things I am grateful for, you being my children's grandma is pretty high on the list. In this instance I think one amazing grandma is better than having two, but one of them is a sociopath." Lena put some more food on her plate and Eliza just waited.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"Lena, there is not a wrong way to respond to what happened. And after everything she put you through, even I am willing to say that Lillian Luthor was no gift to humanity and maybe her being gone is better for us all." Lena was surprised to say the least: never in the time she had known her mother in law had she ever heard her have such a strong opinion about anyone and willingly share it.

"Don't look so surprised Lena. I do not like it when people fuck with my kids. I don't care how old you all get." Lena was surprised, but mostly just very touched by how passionately Eliza spoke about protecting her kids, including Lena.

"About that. Thank you for coming. Not that I imagine Mr. Kent gave you much choice in the matter, but all the same, I appreciate it more than you'll ever know."

"Listen Lena. I know it's hard for you to believe that there are people who will help each other without expectations and who won't keep score on who owes them a favor, but please start to get used to it. I didn't come because Clark made me come, he didn't have to. When I see those damn red capes outside my house I know it's not because of anything good and when I didn't see Kara I panicked, but when I didn't hear from you or Alex I figured things were messy so of course I came. I will always come Lena. Ok? If you are alive and your kid sends for your help you go to them, it's very simple." Lena nodded her understanding and got the impression that this conversation was over because Eliza had made a good point and Lena certainly couldn't argue it. Kara and Alex rounded the corner a few moments later and Kara joined Lena on one side of the table and Alex joined her mom.

"Kelly checked in and said she is stuck at the office with a late session, but she can come by later if we are still here. Otherwise I will bring food home to her." The dinner conversation was relatively normal, given the events of the day. Once they ate and put the rest of the food in a container for Kelly or put into the fridge, Lena went to set up one of the spare rooms for Eliza to sleep in for the night. Alex double checked the security on the penthouse before saying goodnight and heading home. Once Eliza had said goodnight to the couple, Kara took the dog outside once before bed and Lena finished getting ready for bed. Once Kara returned, she giggled as Elsa dashed to find Eliza, who whenever she visited the dog always wanted to snuggle with her instead of Kara and Lena. Once everything was locked down for the night, Kara joined Lena in the master suite and immediately flopped into bed with her face buried in the mattress.

"Not tired or anything are you love?" Lena rubbed her hand up Kara's back and she climbed into her spot on the bed." Kara pushed herself up and changed quickly into a different shirt and sleep shorts.

"I am very glad it's time for bed." Kara settled into her spot in bed and waited for Lena to snuggle into her side. Kara kissed the top of her wife's head and rubbed her hand up and down her arm.

"Feeling better than earlier babe?" Lena nodded, "much better. I promise, I'm ok now. Dinner helped and having everyone here was nice, even under the circumstances."

"Good, but it's ok if the next few days or weeks are hard. Grief is real bitch Lena."

"I know and it might be hard, especially dealing with the PR nightmare and whatever funeral I have to plan, but I have you and everyone else. I have good things to look forward to that balance the bad."

"Those things that you are looking forward to, they don't happen to include babies that have my eyes do they?" Lena immediately pushed herself up and resumed the position they had been in earlier with Lena resting on Kara's hips.

"You heard me and Eliza?"

"I did, but in my defense I didn't need my powers. You guys were louder than I think you meant to be, so Alex heard too, hopefully that's ok. She'll pretend she never heard it if you want her to. She promised not to tell Kelly, so don't worry about that either, we can tell her when we want to, if we decide we want to of course. That being said, Alex would be the person who could help us figure out how to get pregnant without an outside doctor figuring out who I am, but we can troubleshoot that." Kara was off and running with her rambling and she found herself very effectively silenced by Lena kissing her hard and not coming up for air for a while.

"You are so fucking sexy when you ramble about getting me pregnant." Kara blushed and Lena had to laugh.

"You aren't mad though right? That I talked to Eliza about it. I mean we had been talking so much the last few weeks about when we might want to try and with today, I just…I needed to think about something good in our future." Kara smirked and flipped them both around so she was on top of Lena.

"I will never be mad about you want to have a baby with me, ever. I want a family, a family with you and we could start that family next week or next year and as long as I get to plan that family with you, that is all I care about. Today changes nothing Lena. You are going to be great mom to whatever kids we have or adopt. So you say the word when you are ready to start trying or if you want is to adopt first. You tell me and I will be 100% on board."

Lena didn't know if she wanted to cry out of joy or profound love for her wife, but in any case tears came. Kara brushed a few away and saw the smile underneath them.

"Maybe we could ask Alex this weekend about what our options are."

"I think that is a very excellent plan. In the meantime, we can practice." Kara wiggled her eyebrows with a dumb grin on her face.

Lena laughed and shook her head, "you want to have sex with your mother down the hall?" Kara realized the flaw in her logic and smiled, "fair point, but when she goes home, you are in so much trouble." Kara rolled them back into the position they were in originally and Lena traced Kara's neck and chest with her hand as she spoke, "also, you do know you can't actually get me pregnant right? Don't get me wrong, I am on board with practicing all you want, but it won't result in a baby."

Kara shrugged her shoulders, "who knows Lena, I am an alien, so we don't know that I can't. And in any case, no harm in trying right?" Lena snuggled more into Kara and nodded her head as they settled into sleep.

"No harm in trying."


	16. Saturday Plans

After the death of Lilian things moved on, as they often did for the couple, and they tried to find their way back to normal life. Lena had her adopted mother's body buried near her brother and their father. Kara encouraged Lena to be present for the burial, even if she did not hold a funeral, but Lena flat out refused in a way that told Kara that the subject was closed, and she needed to not push her wife further. Lena instead threw her energy into researching the plans for her and Kara to attempt to get pregnant. After a particularly awkward conversation with Alex about finding any way they could extract and use Kara's DNA to truly have a baby that was biologically from both of them they were then able to use Lena's own OBGYN to help them figure out the insemination process.

All that to say, the last few months had been exciting, but also completely frustrating from Lena's perspective. As a woman who was raised to get everything right the first time, not getting pregnant the first try poked at Lena's feelings of failure even though she knew that some women try to get pregnant for months if not years and it is not a reflection of failure, it just is how things are. Kara couldn't have been more supportive, and Lena appreciated that her wife seemed to always know what to say when Lena was stuck in a spiral of negative thoughts about having a baby. Kara reminded Lena, always gently and without a hint of judgment, that they would create a family in whatever way worked for them and a baby would come along when it was the right time.

In the midst of the couple trying to grow their family, work did not stop for either of them and Supergirl emergencies were always consistent throughout the week. One night, when it was actually almost very early morning, Alex called Kara away from a deep sleep for a Supergirl job. Lena remembered kissing her as she left and then falling back to sleep almost immediately. Lena felt like it had been maybe 10 minutes since Kara left, but when her phone rang, waking her up, she caught sight of the clock and realized it was 5am: which meant Kara had been gone for almost 4 hours. Lena saw it was Alex and woke up pretty fast at that point.

"Is she ok?"

"She's fine. We're at the DEO, but I am asking you as her wife to come down here because even though she is 100% fine, it was a very rough night." Lena rolled out of bed and pulled on PJ pants over her sleep shorts and rummaged around the closet to find Kara's hoodie.

"Rough night how?"

"There was a fire and…she wasn't able to save everybody. We both know what that does to her." Lena pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed deeply. Kara's version of failure was always not being able to save everyone in danger with her powers. Alex and Eliza tried their best to assure Kara that it was impossible to save everyone and when Lena came along, she picked up where they had left off. Kara knew they were right of course, but it never eased her guilt when she lost someone at a scene she was called to.

"Christ, I am on my way. Is there a car on its way for me or should I drive?"

"I have someone about 5 minutes from you whenever you are ready. They will meet you downstairs." Lena put the leash on the dog, grabbed her wallet and locked up before meeting Alex's agent downstairs and heading to the DEO.

When they got to the facility, Lena made her way to Alex's office and was grateful that the whole place was still mostly empty because Lena Luthor walking into the DEO in her PJs would have been a sight and Lena did not feel like being on display. Alex was sitting at her desk going over files and she looked up when her door opened.

"Hey, sorry to wake up so early on a Saturday, but it was bad and in a rare move she asked me to call you. Which is a change from her usual reaction to these things which is to push everyone away, but my guess is this time is different." Lena was confused and it showed. Alex waved her hand and Lena followed her out of the office, eventually handing Elsa's leash over to an agent who was familiar to the dog so Lena was not dragging her all over the building. Alex led her to one of the observation rooms that had a sun bed in it for when Kara needed it. It had a two-way mirror that could be covered when needed, but otherwise it offered a full view of the room. Lena looked through the window and quickly realized why this time was different. Kara was still dressed in her suit, and pressed very firmly against her chest was a small child, a toddler if Lena had to guess who was clinging onto Kara tightly as she slept with the hero's cape wrapped around her like a blanket.

"What happened Alex?" Alex pulled up some info on her tablet and handed it to Lena, "big fire broke out in an apartment building. Thankfully it was a smaller building, only 10 apartments total, but in the middle of the night things get tricky. Things were already bad when Kara got there, but she got most people out except for the last apartment on the top floor because they thought no one was home. She went in and the place had to have been like 90% full of smoke and mostly on fire by then. Beams had already started to fall, and the woman was trapped under one of them. Kara started to lift it and she could have, but the woman cried to stop because it hurt worse and there is a good chance that moving it would have killed her slower, judging by what Kara described. The women begged Kara to get her daughter out, Kara found the kid sleeping in her crib and bailed out a window, landing on the ground just as the roof collapsed completely. The kid stirred a little and cried, but wouldn't let Kara hand her to the EMTs, we brought her here and now Kara will not willingly hand her over to anyone. She checked her with her powers and let me check her out for smoke inhalation, but only while she held her. Not sure who is more stubborn currently about this: Kara or the kid." Lena smiled slightly at her wife's stubborn protectiveness over the little girl.

"Any family that can take the little one? Another parent that can step up?" Alex took the tablet back and opened another file, handing it back to Lena.

"We checked. Birth certificate had dad's name, but when I ran his name his death cert came up: car accident just before the kid was born. We ran mom's maiden name, dad's name. I swear to God, Lena I ran so deep in this family tree I reached the roots and all I found are death certs and honestly Lena they didn't have many people to begin with." Lena sighed and shook her head, feeling a deep sadness for the mother who was faced with raising her daughter without any support and who in her final moments only wanted her daughter to live.

"Do we know anything about the little one?" Alex tapped the screen and Lena looked closer. "Charlotte Christine Birch, age 2 years, 3 months, born at 39 weeks gestation. Good APGAR score at birth, passed well baby visits so far and has had the vaccines she would need by her age. No known allergies and from the few minutes Kara allowed me to examine her she is within normal range for height and weight for her age. All things considered; she is a healthy kid who just got dealt a devastating loss." Lena handed the tablet back and watched Kara rocking the baby in her arms and securing the cape around her gently.

"So what happens to her now?" Alex sighed and pointed back toward her office, "I was able to push social services off for now, but they will want to know why the "FBI" is holding onto an infant. With no family, they'll likely get her into the system." Before Alex finished what she was saying she was cut off swiftly.

"Over my dead body." Lena crossed her arms and kept looking at Kara holding the baby, tears threatening to fall.

"Lena, I know this is hard for you, and for Kara, but she is so young that she likely will get placed faster because people typically are more interested in adopting babies. I can do a background check that would make the gods cry, she won't go to a family who will have so much as a parking ticket. I promise." Something snapped in Lena and without really knowing where it came from she turned and looked Alex in the eye, this time with the tears falling.

"I said…over my dead body. So unless you plan on dropping me right here, figure out a different plan." Lena was vibrating with what Alex assumed was anger and some level of sadness.

On some level, Alex expected this, and she offered Lena the only other option there was.

"Yeah, I figured that might be what you said, so this is the only other option I could think of." Alex handed Lena a folded stack of forms from her back pocket and waited as Lena read them.

"Adoption application forms?"

"You said over your dead body would she go home with a stranger who could hurt her, and I get that, but we both know you feel something you've never felt before when you look at Kara holding her in there. And yes it probably brings back some messed-up memories and for that I am so sorry Lena, but you look at her the way mom always looked at me and Kara when we got hurt doing shit growing up. So how long are we going to stand here and pretend that you haven't already made up your mind about taking her home?" Lena didn't have a response to that, mostly because Alex was not wrong. She glanced at the paperwork and noticed something strange.

"These are almost filled out Alex, literally all that's missing is signatures." Alex nodded, "yeah I know, I filled them out before I called you. You weren't the first person to look me in the eye and demand I find another option or kill them and honestly two bodies is a real chore to deal with and Kara is almost immortal. This just seemed easier." Lena looked back to Alex and wordlessly leaned over and kissed her cheek.

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it. I will be in my office when you guys are ready. Otherwise, just take your time." Alex left Lena and returned to her office and Lena composed herself before entering the room. Kara looked up and smiled briefly before Lena arrived at her side and knelt next to the chair.

"I see you made a new friend. And here I was thinking only I got to snuggle with your cape." Kara smiled and ran her free hand over the red cape. "Maybe you guys can share it." Lena gently ran her hand along Kara's arm and eventually the hero looked at her wife.

"I tried Lena, but I couldn't get her mom and I just…I just left her alone." Kara teared up and Lena shook her head. "Kara, you honored her last wish on this earth, and she used it to do the most powerful thing a parent can do. You allowed her to die with whatever dignity that kind of death brings by letting her die knowing that her daughter lived and would be loved and cared of even though it is not in the way she had hoped. You didn't fail her or anyone else Kara."

Kara sniffled and pushed tears away, "but now she's alone Lena and I could've stopped that from happening."

"Kara, from what Alex said, her mom was likely badly injured to the point that lifting that beam totally would have killed her instantly and that kind of internal damage is almost impossible to survive. There was nothing you could've done. And this little one isn't alone, ok, we're all right here." Lena reached out and gently touched the toddler's back and smiled when the baby shifted in Kara arms just slightly, only to snuggle in deeper.

"I know she has to go to social services, but come on Lena we know that system is overwhelmed and under resourced. I can't just throw her to the wolves, she is a baby and she didn't do anything wrong Lena. She deserves…more." Lena stood up enough to offer Kara a kiss on the side of her head.

"You right, she does, so let's go home and figure things out from there." Lena stood up and waited for Kara to say anything in response.

"What about her?" Kara stood up and gently lifted the baby, so she rested on her shoulder. Lena reached out and touched Kara's cheek and smiled. "She's coming with us." Kara's lip quivered and Lena nodded and touched their foreheads together.

"We can't save every child in the world Kara, but I felt it too. When I saw you holding her. So we can't bring every child you save home, but this one deserves to go home, and I think our home will do nicely. So, let's go check in with Alex and sign those forms and I'll call our lawyers and we will sort this out ASAP." Kara smiled through tears and nodded as Lena walked out of the room with Kara following still holding the sleeping toddler.

Once in Alex's office, they frantically signed the forms Lena had seen earlier, while Lena called her legal team and told them in no uncertain terms that they needed to figure out exactly what social service needed from the couple and they needed to figure that out today. The legal team began working on that and Alex sent the forms into a friend of her's who could help them with the social services side of things, making sure that for the time being the couple was granted some emergency permission to be guardians over the child until they could do a home visit and background check in Lena and Kara. Much of this, Lena's lawyers assured her could be handled by them and they would schedule the home visit for a few weeks from then to give the couple some time to properly baby proof the house.

As Lena spoke to the lawyers, Kara sat and gently rocked the baby and didn't even really notice she was awake until Lena came back over to Alex's desk to sit back down.

"It looks like someone is awake. Hi sweetheart." Lena spoke softly to the toddler and gently ran her hand over the child's head and all but swooned at how soft her hair was. The baby looked at Lena through sleepy eyes and to Lena's surprise did not pull away and reach for Kara to keep her, instead she reached out a hand to Lena whose eyes went wide as she began to panic.

"What's wrong? Is she upset?" Alex laughed and shook her head, "wow, you are really not used to babies. Lena she wants you to hold her, she is reaching out for you weirdo. Just pick her up." Lena hadn't held in baby in a long time because, well, no one was fast to hand their child over to a Luthor she guessed. She gently picked the baby up from Kara and found herself quickly support the toddler's neck as she snuggled into Lena's chest.

"Hey sweet girl. Did you take a good nap? You got to snuggle with my favorite person and use her cape for a blanket. Usually I get to do that, so you must be a pretty special kiddo huh?" The baby looked up at Lena and just stared at her and Lena wasn't sure what to do, but all she could do was look right back at the smile with a goofy grin on her face.

"Hey pretty girl. You want come home with us? We got a doggy who will be your buddy I bet and you have a grandma who I imagine will be rather excited to spoil you and you've got a very good aunt who grew up with Kara and she can tell you all the funny stories about it." The baby seemed rather in love with Lena's voice. Lena looked up to see Alex and Kara looking back at her with big grins and some tears threatening to fall.

"What?"

"Anyone ever tell you that you are good with babies Lena? Cuz someone should have." Alex rose from her desk and pointed to the door. "I am going to grab you guys a few things to take home and then you can head out. Your lawyers will handle things from here, but you'll need to go on a shopping spree to get some stuff. I'll be right back." Alex left the office and Lena kept walking around in a small circle, gently bouncing the baby as she walked: something that Charlotte seemed to enjoy because she was wide awake in Lena's arms, but very quiet.

"Alex is right, you are very good with babies." Kara appeared at Lena's side and smiled at the happy baby in her wife's arms.

"Thank god for that or this parenting thing would be a real bust wouldn't it?" Kara pulled Lena close to her, like she often did, but this time it felt very different because there was another person being held by the hero.

"I didn't make you do something you didn't want right? Like we aren't just doing this because she wouldn't let me put her down or because I threatened Alex?"

Lena smiled and shook her head, letting it fall back just enough to be resting against Kara's chest. "No Kara. I may be a pushover, but I am not that weak willed. She is coming home with us because I think that is where she belongs. I know we cannot always do this, but if we had adopted a more traditional way I would have made a similar decision: I would have welcomed a child into our family who I felt had a connection with us. I saw you holding her and that told me everything I needed to know. I've seen you with kids before Kara, and never, not once did you ever act like you did when you held her, and you know it. Besides, you aren't the only one who threatened your sister." Kara laughed and kissed Lena's forehead before doing the same to Charlotte.

"I love you; you know that right? And this doesn't change our plans unless you want it to. We can still keep trying to get pregnant, but we can also stop and wait until we are more used to having one baby in the house." The thought of stopping their attempts to get pregnant had honestly never occurred to Lena in the last 2 hours she had been in the DEO with Kara. Kara brought up a good logistical point, but the offer of waiting to add to their now 3-person family made Lena almost cry out of frustration.

"Well, maybe I do not want to take a break. Maybe I want to keep trying like we planned and see what happens." Lena nuzzled the top of Charlotte's head and waited for a response from Kara. The hero eventually tilted Lena's chin up so she could look her in the eye.

"Lena, I'm gonna back whatever decision you make on this. So if you want to keep doing what we've been doing then that's what we're going to do, but it's your body going through the treatments and I…" Kara was cut off by Lena kissing her as hard as she could with the infant still firmly attached to her chest.

"Kara, I want to keep trying. I promise I will talk to you if that changes, but right now I would like very much to go home and change into real clothes so we can frantically drop an obscene amount of money on baby items." Kara smiled like Lena just said 'I do' all over again and she nodded her understanding as Alex came in the office again.

"Alright mommies, I have a car being set up to take you home that has the right size car seat in it for her. I reached out to a friend of mine from med school who is in peds now and she sent over a list of some dietary things to consider for a child her age, foods to avoid, foods she needs a lot of and a feeding schedule with the note that you and the kiddo there will have to figure out for yourselves once she gets settled. Her personal suggestions of crib brands, car seats brands, laundry detergent brands to avoid if this one has sensitive skin and some suggestions for teething toys to buy in bulk because she will eventually destroy them." Alex ran through the forms quickly as she put them all in a folder and held the out for Kara to take, but was met with both women staring at her with shocked expressions.

"What?"

"You left this office maybe 20 minutes ago and you managed to put all of that together in that time?" Lena nodded at Kara's confusion of how Alex managed to do so much in such a short time.

"Well, the car seat took the longest so my apologies on that and when you threatened me earlier this morning I called my friend and then when your blushing bride did the same thing not an hour later I called her back and asked for additional info." Alex came around her desk and put the folder in Kara's hand, closing it for her.

"Kara there is not much on this or any planet I wouldn't do for you, you know that by now. I know that at first you were just protecting a child, but I saw something snap in your eyes when I tried to take her, and I saw it in Lena's too when I told her the reality of the situation. You wanna know where I have seen that look before Kara? When dad was faced with a choice of him or you and he picked you Kara. Something snapped in him and he didn't care what happened to him as long as you were safe. I know it is not a scientific reason, but as far as I am concerned, that moment when you both snapped at me was the exact moment she became your daughter. So yes, I moved quickly to do what I could because I don't want my niece spending all day in a government facility any more than you two do." Alex tried to round things out with some humor, but Kara could see the emotion written all over her sister's face and she wrapped her arms around Alex and to Lena's great surprise, hugged her gently.

"Thank you. You'll be her favorite aunt." Kara pulled away and Alex laughed. "I'm her only Aunt nerd."

"Maybe so, but still, thank you." Alex nodded and got an alert that the car was ready to take the couple and child home.

"Your car is waiting for you and I asked one of my guys to run and get some food to send home for you guys for her so that you can go get more food later, but this way you can get her home and settled without having to rush to the store right away. It should last you for today and tomorrow before you need to restock." Kara went and changed quickly so that when they got home she did not have to make up a very flimsy excuse of why Supergirl was in Lena's penthouse, with a child no less. They picked up Elsa from the agent who had been watching her and thankfully the dog seemed to just be interested in investigating this new human. They said goodbye to Alex once they got to the car and Kara insisted on getting Charlotte buckled into the car seat. This of course led to a 5-minute struggle with the straps as Kara tried to adjust them to safely keep the baby safe while driving. Lena eventually took pity and gently moved Kara aside, reached in and got the straps into place before buckling the child into the seat.

"How the hell did you do that?"

"Kara, I am an engineer. I should hope that in all my years of building things I learned how to get a car seat to work. Now let's go home." Kara smiled at that and with Lena in the backseat and Kara up front they were driven home. On the way Lena was searching websites for lists of things people swear you need before you bring a baby home and was wondering how hard it would be to get some of these things from a store without people wondering why Lena Luthor was buying a crib. She did not have much time to think about it more as they pulled into the garage of their building 10 minutes later. The agent who drove them told Kara that Alex ok'd them taking the carrier part of the car seat until they got one for themselves and they would keep the attachment buckled into that vehicle for future trip when Charlotte had to be in a DEO car with Lena or Kara. Lena grabbed the things Alex sent home with them and Elsa's leash, leaving Kara to quickly take the carrier out of the car and head toward the elevator. Once upstairs and in their home, Kara went into the living room and set the carrier down and quickly took notice at how Elsa was pulling on her leash for Lena to let her go. Kara went over to the dog and took the leash from Lena, but gave the command for the dog to sit.

"You have to be gentle, ok. I know you want to meet her, but you need to be gentle with her." Lena smiled as Kara tried to explain in plain English to a dog why she needed to calm down around the toddler. Kara kept the dog's leash on and led her over to the carrier while Lena followed and sat down next to the carrier so that one of them had a hand on the leash and the other was right next to the baby. Kara slowly let the dog go closer, but only when she stopped pulling on her leash. Once the dog was close to the carrier, both women watched as the dog sniffed the carrier and then began doing the same to Charlotte, something that made the toddler giggle because the dog's nose was all but pressed to her skin. To her credit, Elsa was gentle and was just doing what dogs do: trying to figure out who this new person is that came into their house. Eventually she stopped and returned to Kara and sat down.

"Good girl, being gentle. That's my smart girl." Kara praised the dog and went and gave her a treat to reinforce the behavior. Once they returned from the kitchen, Lena had taken Charlotte out and was holding her; something Elsa wanted in on. Kara removed the leash since Lena had the baby in her arms and let Elsa join the on the couch. Charlotte was sitting in Lena's lap just sort of cooing and when the dog joined them she got much more animated. She reached for the dog and sorted of grabbed her fur, causing Lena to flinch in fear that the dog would nip at the baby as a result. That's not what happened. Instead Elsa licked the baby's face, just like she always does with Kara and Lena. The dog then settled down with her head in Lena's lap in a way that meant she was snuggled right up against Charlotte who kept pulling away from Lena to be closer to the dog. Lena looked at Kara who was already taking pictures with tears in her eyes.

"I guess we don't have to worry about them getting along." Lena smiled as she held Charlotte in a way that let her keep touching the dog's head. This little snuggle session went on for roughly 15 minutes before Charlotte got fussy.

"I bet she's hungry. We fed her after Alex checked her out at the DEO, but that was a while ago now. I'll open some of the food Alex sent and get her fed." Lena nodded and handed Charlotte over to Kara who quickly took the baby into the kitchen, talking in a high pitch tone the whole way there. Elsa quickly followed her, leaving Lena to fish out her cell phone and start trying to make sure they got what they needed for Charlotte and soon. She felt bad calling her assistant on a Saturday, but she had few choices available to her currently and before she could change her mind the phone clicked through.

"You had better not be in the office on a Saturday." Jess answered in a joking tone and Lena smiled.

"You'll be glad to know that I am at home. That being said, I need to ask you a rather significant favor and I need you to not ask questions right away. I hate asking you to do something on the weekend, but we need some help and I trust very few people with this."

"Are you guys ok? That all sounds serious."

"We're fine and it is serious, but not bad. The SparkNotes version is we sort of applied to adopt a baby and it all happened so fast and we have nothing in the house for her other than a few days worth of food and a pack of diapers my sister in law sent home with us."

"You know most people go to Brunch on Saturday or sleep in and then read the paper. Not you two. You guys adopt a child, who I am guessing if your sister in law is involved means that so is the hero of National City, which means there is a longer story in there. But regardless, what can I do to help?" Lena smiled at the sassy observation.

"We need some help getting some basic things and I can't just waltz into a store with a baby and not have it end up in the paper tomorrow. Is there any way you can help up get some basic things for her, like more diapers, food and some clothes. I am going to have to pull strings to get a crib and larger things, but for now we just need her basic needs met."

"I can do that. Give me her size and either a brand of food or flavors, otherwise I'm just grabbing a mix of stuff." Lena froze for a moment because she had no idea what size clothes Charlotte was in let alone what size diaper to get. She went into the kitchen to see Kara feeding the baby best she could without a highchair.

"Jess, add a highchair to the list, cuz we need that today." Lena then looked at Kara, "does her outfit have a size on it, Jess is going to grab some more clothes for her to tide us over till we can buy more. Also, how do we figure out what diaper size she is?" Kara shrugged her shoulder, but then pointed to the things Alex sent home. "I think Alex sent the whole box so it should have the size on there right?" Lena was never more grateful for a box of diapers ever because Kara was right. It did have the size on it. Kara found the sizes on the outfits Charlotte was wearing and Lena shared all this info along with the list of food they needed to Jess.

"Listen Jess, I can't thank you enough for this. I will pay you for today at double and I promise your Christmas bonus will be substantial."

"Lena, you are asking me to go shopping for a child, your child no less. It's not like you are asking me to do something awful. I'm glad to help. I will get clothes and all that first and then go get the food for her, is that ok or do you need food for her right now?"

"No we have enough for today and tomorrow so that's fine. When you get here just park in visitor parking and call me. I'll have the doorman send one of his guys with a cart to bring it all up at once."

"Gotcha, do you guys need anything for you and Kara while I am out? Like lunch?" Lena checked her watched and did not realize how late in the morning it was. It was almost lunch and she knew Kara hadn't eaten since dinner and then went to work.

"When you are at the grocery store just grab things that are ready to eat, and we can have that for lunch. Just use my card that I gave you for when we order lunch at the office." The women hung up soon after that and Lena went and joined Kara in the kitchen. Kara was trying with some difficulty to wipe Charlotte's face clean and the baby found it very funny to make that task more difficult than it normally would be. Lena laughed and quickly grabbed a soft napkin and got it wet before gently rubbing it over the baby's face.

"Why are you laughing at your mommy, huh? Why you laughing? Funny girl, we just want your face clean or the dog will lick all that food off." The baby clapped and Lena shook her head and smiled before looking back at Kara who seemed sort of frozen.

"What?"

"You said mommy. You called me her mommy." Lena felt a mix of emotions and was not sure if she had done something good or bad.

"That was probably in poor taste. I mean her mother died this morning and I'm handing that title around like it's nothing. I'm sorry, it just came out." Kara felt guilty for making Lena feel guilty and pulled her close to her.

"I'm not mad Lena. I don't think it's in bad taste. She's a baby and we will make sure that we teach her about her mom and about what she did for her, but it's ok for us to be her parents. If she gets older and wants to call us something else, then we will go by something else. But I liked it when you called me that." Lena nodded and still felt a pang of guilt, knowing how fast the Luthor's tried to replace her mother's memory in Lena's heart and she did not want the same for Charlotte. Only problem was, they did not have many memories of her mother to offer the little girl as she grew up and Lena hoped they could find some way to remedy that.

"Speaking of mothers, you really ought to call Eliza. Even though everything is not nailed down, we signed the forms and our team will make sure legally everything is done right. Even if we just tell her that we are in the process of adopting a child I think it's better than waiting." Kara agreed and after kissing the top of Charlotte's head and handing her to Lena, she dug out her cellphone and hit Eliza's number. Lena had to smile: anyone else would have maybe planned what they were going to say: not her wife. She was just going to call her mother and had zero idea of how to break the news.

Kara heard the call connect and Eliza greeted her with her usual upbeat greeting, "hi sweetheart, you two ladies having a restful weekend so far?"

"Ugh, not really, Alex and I had to go handle a fire this morning."

"Oh my, I'm sorry Kara. Are you and your sister alright?"

"Yeah, no, we're fine. It was just that one person didn't survive, and it was hard."

"Kara, you can't save everyone. I'm certain you did whatever you could to help."

"I know, but the woman that died had child and I was able to get her out, but not her mom."

"Kara, you saved a child's life and it doesn't make the loss any better, but I promise you that woman would have wanted her child safe. Besides you and your sister can make sure she find a home that's safe so she can grow up with people who love her and want to have her be part of their family." Kara smiled and had to suppress a laugh.

"Yeah, I know. About that actually. We sort of found a place for her already, at least we thinks so if the paperwork is approved and all that."

"That's great Kara. See the little girl will be ok and you can help her learn about her mom when she gets older." At this point Lena was watching from a few feet away and could hear Eliza through the speaker of the phone and watching Kara look like a little kid hiding a secret was funny to witness and apparently Charlotte thought so too. The little girl was reaching for Kara from her spot in Lena's arms and making whatever sound she thought was words to get her point across. There was no way Eliza didn't hear the sound and Kara just waited, though she did not have to wait long.

"Kara what was that noise?"

"So you know how I said we found the child a family?

"Yes."

"So, that family may or may not have been me and Lena." The line went very quiet and for a second Kara thought she lost the call. Technically she hadn't, but her phone began ringing saying a video call was coming in from Eliza. Kara looked at Lean who laughed.

"You had better answer that." Kara smiled and nodded before accepting the call and barely opened her mouth to speak before Eliza's face and voice boomed through the phone.

"Are you telling me you adopted a child…this morning Kara?"

"I mean, the paperwork went through this morning, we're just waiting for it to be approved. But yes, that is what I am telling you." Kara knew Eliza was just stunned and was not in any way mad. She was just understandably surprised. Kara figured she wouldn't beat around the bush and while Eliza was processing the new info, Kara hit the button that turned her camera around and made sure Lena could be seen holding Charlotte in the shot. Lena heard Eliza gasp before dissolving into tears and gushing over the child.

"Oh my goodness, she is so beautiful and so little. Hello sweet girl. Well, that settles that, I will pack up the car and be in National City by tonight."

"Nonsense Eliza, let me send a car or the jet for you." Lena knew it would be faster and she felt better not worrying about Eliza rushing to get to them faster.

"Lena you don't have to do that."

"I know I don't have to, but Charlotte gave me very clear orders to make sure her grandma got here safely to give her snuggles." Eliza made a noise at the word grandma that made Lena laugh.

"Oh my god, I'm a grandma and her name is so beautiful. I will be ready to go in 20 minutes." Eliza hung up the phone and Lena shook her head at the older woman's enthusiasm. Picking up her phone she called and made the arrangements for a car to get Eliza and take her to the airfield to being her into NC. While she did that, Kara went and got the guest room ready for Eliza and then went and checked on one of the spare rooms that the couple hardly used for anything except storage. The townhouse had 5 full rooms and the one that they use as an office space. So there was room for Charlotte to have a nursery and room for when she grew up and still allowed them to have space for one other child before they had to think about upgrading to a house. Kara was interrupted when Lena called for her from the kitchen.

"Can you feed the dog while I call and check in with Jess?" Kara fed Elsa, took her outside and on her way back upstairs she gave the doorman an heads up to expect Jess and then Eliza so they could just be sent up. Once back upstairs she saw Lena sitting in the recliner that she swore when Kara bought it she 'would never sit in that thing'. Charlotte looked to be half asleep and Kara figured the little one was likely exhausted after such a busy morning. She covered Lena with a blanket, making sure to cover Charlotte too before sitting near Lena on couch with Elsa refusing to join and instead choosing to sit next to the chair and watch Lena holding Charlotte. After about 20 minutes they all apparently fell asleep and Kara only woke up when she heard the elevator open on their floor. Kara realized they all had slept for about an hour as she made her way to the front door. When she opened it Jess was standing there with bags piled onto a cart that the front door staff let her borrow to get the items she needed upstairs.

"Sorry it took me so long Kara, I wanted to make sure you guys had what you needed to get you all started. The highchair is still in the car, but I wanted to get this stuff up here first." Kara helped Jess being everything inside and start to organize it in the kitchen.

"Let me wake up Lena and then I can bring the highchair up from your car."

"No need, someone else woke me up." Lena came into the kitchen holding a now wide-awake Charlotte. "Thank you so much for getting all this Jess. We would have been fucked trying to do this without you."

"No swearing in front of the baby." Kara picked Charlotte up out of Lena's arms and giggled as the toddler clapped her hands as Kara blew a raspberry on her tummy.

"Oh my god, she is adorable Lena and you guys already look like such a cute family." Jess gushed over the child in Kara's arms before gesturing to Lena to follow her as she explained what was in the bags.

"So clothes, diapers, baby sensitive detergent and a few random things from the store are in these bags. And everything else is baby food, food that you should be able to feed her at this point in her life and some groceries for the two of you because I did not trust that you accurate described what you two might have needed. There are a few readymade meals that you just need to put in the oven for a while or even microwave. The highchair is still in the car, but everything else made it up here with me.

"Honestly Jess, we can't thank you enough. This makes it so much easier to then focus on buying furniture and all that stuff. At least now she has some more outfits and diapers and we have the ability to figure out what she'll eat." Jess smiled and pointed to the door, "I'll go get the highchair and then get out of your hair."

Kara shook her head, "no way, I'll go get it, you have done more than enough. Any chance you wanna hold her while I'm gone?"

"Oh my god, please." Jess gave Kara her keys and gently picked up Charlotte from her arms. Kara left the house and headed down to the parking lot, leaving Lena and Jess.

"She is so beautiful Lena and seems like such a happy baby."

"The only blessing in all of this might be that she was more than likely too young to ever really remember what happened. At least she won't remember the details because when Kara picked her up she was asleep. Still a tragedy, but it's better than having the image of your mom dying before your eyes." Jess didn't poke Lena to speak more, instead she just bounced the baby on her hip.

"Well, she is a lucky girl Lena. You guys will give her a good life and make sure she knows that her mom loved her and now you guys do too." Lena smiled as she put the groceries away and started to separate the clothes to wash before they put the baby in them. Kara returned minute later with the box and began putting it together, a task that thankfully did not take long. Jess excused herself once she knew the couple had everything she could help them get, offering further help if they needed it later in the day. Kara tried to no avail to give Jess a check as a thank you, but the other woman waved her hand.

"Lena has made sure I am very fairly compensated for today and honestly you guys, this kind of stuff makes me very happy to do, especially for you two. Being parents suits you both. Just holler if you need more help." Jess left and just about the time Lena had started the laundry with Charlotte's clothes in it, Eliza had called her saying she had just touched down in NC and once she got off the plane the car was standing by to bring her to their home.

"You ready to have Eliza running around gushing over Charlotte?" Lena smiled and offered Kara a quick kiss, "I think it'll be nice to have her here. Maybe we can have her watch the baby while we go shopping tomorrow."

"Lena you know I suck at interior décor. The fact that my loft ever looked put together was honestly because random things in a loft make it look cool. You might be better off taking Eliza and leaving me here with this one." Kara tickled the baby's stomach to make her point, but Lena shook her head.

"Nice try. I know you hate shopping with me, but I will show you the stuff that matches and you can help me pick things out. Honestly Kara, I don't care very much if things match, I just whatever is best for Charlotte and I want you with me when we pick it. Plus, when we have more kids this will help us not have to buy more stuff later. Think of it as an investment in not shopping more later." Kara pouted, but agreed.

"Fine. I am going to change her before Eliza gets here." Kara brought the baby into the master bedroom and Lena smiled as Elsa followed her. Soon after their bell rang, and she figured her driver must've sped just a bit to bring Eliza from the airport. She opened the door to see her mother-in-law all but bouncing.

"Hi Lena." Lena opened the door wide and grabbed Eliza's bag from her. "You don't have to pretend to make small talk. I know you want to see her. Kara is just getting her in a new diaper, and she'll be right out." Of course, Lena finished her sentence and Kara joined them in the living room and Eliza all but started crying.

"Now we are all clean and ready to meet grandma aren't we." Kara went over and offered Eliza a kiss on her cheek before shifting Charlotte's weight in her arms so she could see their new guest.

"Charlotte, this is your grandma. Can you say hi?" The baby flashed a shy smile and buried her face into Kara, looking at Eliza while still firmly pressed into Kara's chest.

"Oh so now we're shy are we?" Eliza did not seem to care and just talked to the toddler in very rushed tones.

"Hey sweet girl. Aren't you just a beauty? I know new people are kind of scary huh, you'd rather snuggle with your mommy. That's ok. I have lots of time and I have a present for you." Eliza went to grab her bag and Kara was amazed.

"How did you already manage to get her a present? You found out about her a few hours ago."

"If you think I didn't have things packed away for my first grandchild you do not know me well enough my dear." Kara shook her head and watched as Eliza pulled something out of her bag and brought it back to where Kara was holding Charlotte.

"This is for you honey." Eliza held out a plush toy that looked so familiar to Kara and yet she couldn't place where she had seen it before. Charlotte began immediately interested and reached out and touched the toy, enjoying how soft it felt.

"Alex had something like this on her bed when we were growing up right? Like almost exactly this stuffed toy."

"Your dad bought it for Alex when she was born. She had that thing even in college. When you came home to live with us we tracked down some of the old toys her bought for Alex even though I tried to explain to him that you likely wouldn't know what they were for, but he didn't care. But he never gave them to you and for a long time I never understood why. When you girls were out of the house I was going through things in the attic and I found this small trunk with all those toys and stuffed animals in them. I didn't bring them all cuz I didn't think it was my place, but I think he'd want Charlotte to have this and you to have this." Eliza handed Kara a folded piece of paper that had her name written across it in her dad's handwriting. Lena watched Kara's face change, not to sadness exactly, but to a far-away look she gets when deeper feelings start to set in.

"Babe, how about I take Charlotte and Eliza and get Eliza settled in her room." Kara shook her head no and instead kiss Charlotte's head before gently handing the child over to Eliza, this time feeling relieved when the child seemed rather eager to snuggle with a new person. Kara sat down on the couch and Lena sat down next to her, leaving Eliza to sit in the recliner so Kara could still see Charlotte. Kara looked at the fold paper for a long time before handing it Lena.

"I can't read that."

"Would you like me to read it to you, or should I put it away for later?"

"You read it please." Lena nodded and shot Eliza a cautious look because neither of them know what this kind of message would do to Kara. She and Alex always struggled a lot when it came to their dad. Alex was always chasing his legacy and Kara was always trying to cope with losing another parent figure. Lena cleared her throat and rubbed Kara's leg as she read.

"Kara, if you are reading this then it means that either your mom or sister found this trunk in the attic. I figured it wouldn't be you that found it because you never got over the story Alex told you as kids about our attic being haunted." Kara smiled at that, because he was right, she refused to ever go into the attic after Alex told that story when they were little.

"I am glad whoever found this gave it to you because I wanted to make sure that these things all got to you eventually. It may seem strange, me having saved these stuffed animals and toys for so many years and I am sure your mother thinks I have finally lost it, but as with all scientists, there is a method to my madness. I wanted you and your sister to have the same things growing up so that we sent you the message that you were just as much our daughter as Alex was and I hope that is how you felt and still feel now. I know however, there would be things and memories that Alex had that you could never have from her early youth. Giving you stuffed animals to make up for lost time seemed silly and what 13-year-old wants a stuffed animal. So I decided to find the same toys we had given Alex and put them away for you to be able to one day give to your kids (should you choose to have them). If you don't feel, free to share these with your sister or keep them and know that they would have been yours had you spent your whole life with us. Alex has her own little box of things I set aside for her, so don't worry about making sure she is taken care of: I've got both my girls covered. I hate writing this, because I know there would be no reason you'd be reading it if I wasn't gone. I hope this letter finds you living a happy life and in my heart I hope you have found someone to share that life with because if I can't be there for you, I like to think that someone else can be there instead. If you share these things with your children please tell them that I wish I could have met them, that I love them very much and that should they ever need me, I won't ever be very far away. Take care of yourself Kara and don't sacrifice your needs for anyone, even though I think telling you that is like telling a fish not to swim. Let yourself be happy and enjoy life, it's far too short to do anything else. Tell my grandkids they have a very special mommy who I loved very much and to not talk back to you. I love you very much Kara, and whatever comes from that, good or bad, it will be well worth it. Parents do what needs to be done for their kids, no matter what and I know you'll learn that as your family grows. Snuggle your kids, snuggle these toys when they aren't looking and know that I'll be nearby always to make sure the world treats my girls right. Love you, love you, love you. Ps: I hope the glasses still work. Love always, Dad."

Lena closed the letter and looked at Kara who most definitely had tears in her eyes and Lena did know what to say or do first. She ended up not having to do anything because Kara got up from her seat and kneeled in front of Eliza so that Charlotte was facing her, still with the stuffed toy in her hands.

"So, how do you feel about sharing that toy with me? Cuz grandpa says I can snuggle it when you are not looking and I think that is more than fair, plus grandpa was a smart dude so we should listen to him, right?" Charlotte smiled and Kara felt several tears slide down her face.

"He would have gone absolutely mad over you kiddo. Just spoiled you rotten and I am really sad that he won't get the chance, but I think grandma will cover that so don't you worry about that ok? You just snuggle that toy and mommy and aunt Alex will tell you all the stories about your grandpa ok? Grandma too, cuz she knew him the longest. Sounds good?" Charlotte cooed and gently held out the toy in her hands to Kara who smiled as tears continued to stream down her face.

"It's ok baby, you snuggle it first. I'll take my turn when you take a nap." Kara kissed Charlotte's head as she stood up and went back and joined Lena who slipped her hand into Kara's. They were all quiet for a while and Lena finally broke the silence.

"So, what story did Alex tell you to convince you the attic was haunted?" She was met with laughter and Kara pushing her shoulder playfully and it made her feel better to see her wife smile after a heavy moment. More than anything she was glad Kara got to have this moment to share her child with her parents, both of them, in the best way they all could have asked for.


	17. Good Gentle

**A few people asked for some description about Charlotte's appearance (hair and eye color) and maybe that she bears an uncanny resemblance to one of the girls. Hopeful this is what people are looking for. Thanks for reviewing.**

It took both Lena and Eliza to convince Kara that she could put Charlotte down and let the baby sleep in the play pen Jess had gotten for them to tide them over until the crib could be brought in and set up. Kara hated to do it, but she reluctantly put Charlotte into the pen when the toddler had fallen asleep around 9pm. Eliza got herself settled in her room and said goodnight to the couple. Once they got dressed for bed they both got into bed and Lena was curious about why Kara was moving her pillows around.

"Are you building a pillow fort love?" Kara stuck out her tongue, "no, I want my head to be at the foot of the bed so I can closer to her."

Lena's face softened and she reached out for Kara's hand. "Darling, you have super hearing, having your head closer to her won't do much more than that."

"What if she get scared, or lonely, or has a bad dream, or…" Lena had to reach for Kara's other hand and make her wife look at her.

"Hey, look at me." Kara finally locked eyes with Lena and tried to even her breathing. "Talk to me Kara, what's going on?"

"I don't want her to think she's alone."

"I understand that, but darling, she isn't alone. She can hear us talking and can hear the fan we keep on. She knows she isn't alone."

"What if she wakes up and is scared?"

"Kara, if she wakes up and needs us she'll cry and one of us will pick her up and get her settled again. That is what babies do honey." Kara mumbled something under her breath and Lena tapped her hand as a reminder to not shut down and to just tell Lena what's wrong.

"Lena, I know what it feels like to be awake and alone and wonder when the hell someone will save you and no one ever came because how could they. I do not want her to ever feel that." Lena nodded, it almost always came back to the time Kara spent in her pod, which when Kara described it to her sounded like hell: being wide awake for years, but having no concept of where or when you were traveling through only to crash onto a planet that wasn't yours with powers you never had before.

"Kara, I know her feeling alone scares you, but she isn't alone, and she won't ever be, ok. If sleeping with your head near her makes you feel better then ok, but I promise you she knows we're here." Kara nodded and placed her pillow at the foot of their bed only to be surprised when Lena did the same. "What? You didn't think I'd leave you alone at the foot of our bed did you?" Lena threw a blanket over them both and rubbed Kara's back until they both fell asleep.

Lena woke up about 5 hours later, something that surprised her because she did not think the baby would sleep for so long in a new place. She saw that Kara was passed out cold, no doubt still exhausted from helping with the fire and everything that came afterwards. Lena gently got out of bed and went to check on Charlotte only to find something she did not expect to see.

At some point in the middle of the night, Elsa had gotten off the big bed and had managed to get herself in the play pen with Charlotte. This must have soothed the baby because what Lena was looking at was Elsa, who was far too big for this play pen curled up fast asleep, with Charlotte snuggled into her and holding on to her fur as she continued to sleep. Lena grabbed her phone and took pictures before reaching in a scratching the dog's head to wake her up.

"Is this where you think you sleep now? Stinker. Come on let's go get the baby changed." Lena picked up Charlotte who only stirred slightly and Elsa figured out a way out of the pen so she could follow Lena into the living room where she changed Charlotte and got her back in jammies. She didn't want to wake up Kara, so she settled into the living room with Charlotte snuggled into her chest, the baby still fast asleep causing Lena to google if that was normal for a baby her age. At some point in all of this, Lena fell asleep in the recliner with Elsa asleep next to the chair. Two hours later Kara got up and noticed that Lena was not next to her and Charlotte was not in her play pen, so Kara assumed Lena had woken up and taken her in the other part of the house. Kara made her way into the living room and saw Lena fast asleep on the recliner, Charlotte snuggled into Lena and Elsa sleeping on the floor next to the chair. Kara took a quick picture of her wife holding the baby. It was the first time she really got to take a long look at Charlotte. Snuggled against Lena, you really would not have guessed that they had no biological relationship.

Charlotte had dark hair that right now was still thin and soft, but that Kara guessed would grow more as the child aged. She had brown eyes from what Kara remembered from yesterday, but there were times they had a hazel color to them. When she smiled or laughed she had one dimple on her right cheek that would become very pronounced and Kara thought it was adorable. This moment was only interrupted when Kara heard footsteps behind her and knew Eliza had woken up.

"I didn't hear any crying this morning so I figured I would come check and see how everyone was doing."

"She must have slept through the night because I didn't hear a thing. I heard Lena get up and move into the other room, so I never woke all the way up. Is it normal for her to sleep so long?"

Eliza smiled and rubbed Kara's shoulder, "all babies are different. At her age, sleeping longer is more likely than with newborns and I am sure she was just overwhelmed after yesterday and sleep was needed for her to recharge. Might want to wake her up soon though cuz I bet she'll be hungry. I'll go make some coffee for the adults and figure out something for breakfast." Kara nodded and went over to Lean and gently tapped her wife's foot which slowly woke her up.

"Hey babe, I see I missed out on early morning snuggles." Lena smiled and slowly sat up, "well I woke up to check on her and someone had climbed into her play pen and they were snuggled together when I woke up." Kara looked at the dog who seemed rather pleased with herself as Kara offered her pets.

"Did you climb into the play pen like a naughty girl. Don't tell momma but I think that is very cute that you wanted to be with your new sister. Just don't do it when we have a crib ok." Kara then gently lifted Charlotte off Lena's chest and eventually they all went into the kitchen.

"I am gonna go shower real fast before I have coffee ok?" Kara nodded as Lena went back into the bedroom to clean up. Once around more noises and smells Charlotte began to wake up and Kara quickly got her into her highchair.

"Alright peanut, what should we have to breakfast today huh?" Jess had gotten them a lot of baby friendly foods which was good because while baby food wasn't bad for a baby Charlotte's age, she certainly could be eating other things that had more nutrients.

"I was going to make some eggs for us and she can have some once they are cooled off. Maybe cut up an avocado and see if she likes that." Eliza hand her daughter one avocado while she worked on the eggs. Kara cut the food up into small chunks and placed a small amount on the highchair plate surface. Charlotte dug into the food immediately and seemed to have a rather goo time smashing the food as she got it in her mouth. Kara gave her more, but made sure to help the toddler by feeding her with the help of a spoon so she got more of the food. Lena joined them and had to smile at Kara trying to feed Charlotte while being animated about it.

"I see we have tried avocado with some success, although has she managed to eat any of it darling?" Kara nodded, "we are doing much better thank you, and say momma we were just expressing ourselves huh baby." Charlotte hit the surface in front of her as she cooed and of course this caused some of the food to smash and hit Kara directly in her face. Of course Lena laughed at this and Kara being Kara just picked the food off her face and ate it.

"Thank you for sharing, but maybe next time we work on your aim ok?" Eliza handed Kara some eggs that were cooled down and Charlotte immediately ate that as well.

"Were you my hungry girl? I bet you were. Let's get you cleaned up cuz I gotta go take a shower since someone felt like throwing food at mommy. Who did that? I think it was this little peanut here." Kara kissed Charlotte's head rapidly and the baby giggled as Kara stood up from her chair.

"I am going to shower real quick because I still smell like smoke from yesterday." Lena nodded saying she would clean the baby up and get her dressed in the clean clothes that Jess had brought in the day before.

"Hey little one, let's clean that face ok? Looks like you have a yummy breakfast, but did you get any of it in your mouth? Or did you get it all over you and mommy?" Lena spoke in a high voice and Charlotte clapped her hands at it. As Lena cleaned her up, she looked over her shoulder at Eliza.

"Shouldn't she be talking by now. I panicked googled this this morning and now I'm concerned."

"It depends honey. She actually might have already started talking before all this happened and her not talking now is not a sign that anything is wrong. She might just not be ready to say something. Even though she didn't see things happen, it was a trauma and her brain is so busy that you might just need to give her some time." Lena nodded and bounced the baby on her hip as she started to eat the breakfast that Eliza had placed in front of her at the counter.

"Are you sure it's ok to leave Charlotte with you so Kara and I can go and buy things she needs? I know it has all been a lot of info for everyone to take in at once." Eliza waved Lena off and held out her arms for Charlotte who happily reached for her and snuggled into Eliza.

"Please, if anything I may not notice you two are gone. We're gonna have Charlotte and grandma time aren't we sweetheart?" Lena smiled at the interaction as she finished her food.

"Well then, I see the pecking order. Speaking of which, Elsa is very attached to this one and vise versa. I found Elsa in her pen this morning and Charlotte was using her for a pillow and Elsa acted like it was just a normal thing. So chances are you'll be constantly followed by her." Eliza looked down to see the dog patiently waiting on the other side of the kitchen counter, knowing she is not allowed in that space when they are cooking.

"I think I can manage, but I promise I will call if we need anything." Kara came out of the bedroom ready for their shopping trip.

"We should head out soon right?" Lena nodded and went to grab her purse. Kara kissed Charlotte as she walked by. "Have fun with grandma ok peanut." Lena quickly did the same, promising Eliza they would update her as the day wore on as to when they would likely return. Lena had reached out to several stores to see who would give her and Kara private access to their store and she was greatly surprised that once again, it was Kara's name that carried the weight, not her own. Three stores offered to open on a Sunday which they usually did not do and allow the couple to shop without having all eyes on them.

The first store had most of the furniture they needed so after about two hours there the couple had picked a crib, changing table/dresser, rocking chair for the nursery, a stroller, more pop up play pens for Lena and Kara's offices and a handful of the same car seat, knowing that they would need one in each of their cars, one for Eliza's for the times they visit and one that could be used when they fly that would simply just stay in the L-corp jet. Lena begged the owner to please make sure that if nothing else the crib got to the house today. Kara jumped in and explained the situation, leaving out Supergirl totally and making a genuine plea to the owner who agreed that he would make sure the crib made it to the penthouse, but only after Kara insisted it never had either of their names on it. It needed to be left downstairs for the doorman to collect. With this agreed to, Lena offered the owner a substantial tip as a thank you and deep down and bribe for their silence, along with the promise that he recommendation for her employees would be to frequent the store when they had children.

They moved on to a store that offered a large selection of baby and infant clothes and Kara let Lena pick the outfits that were meant to match, but Kara went nuts getting shirts that were funny or sassy. They to grab the next few sizes up just to help themselves not have to worry about growth spurts. They got shoes and more pairs of PJs than Lena ever thought Charlotte would ever wear. Once they finished with this store they made a similar trip to another store where they were able to get more toys than either of them planned on along with safety things to protect Charlotte from things around the house. Kara could already see herself being volunteered to set up the baby gates for the kitchen, bathrooms and Lena's office. Lena made notes on the other things they might need to do to the house to make sure it passes whatever the state requires.

This whole shopping marathon took them give or take 6 hours and stopping for lunch did precious little to help the women feel refreshed. That being said, they both were very glad to finally get home and were shocked that the crib and changing table were already waiting for them downstairs and the staff told Lena they would bring it up shortly and leave it outside the door or bring it in depending on what she and Kara preferred. Once upstairs Lena opened the door and she and Kara could hear the TV playing something while Eliza was talking to Charlotte about something silly. They found the two of them and Elsa in the living room and smiled at the sight of Eliza on the floor with Charlotte who had a vice grip on Elsa's collar.

"I see you are causing all sorts of trouble with grandma huh peanut?" Kara went over and kissed Charlotte and offered Eliza a hug.

"She has been wonderful and even took a nap didn't you sweet girl? She ate around noon and I was about to make her a snack." Kara smiled, "perfect, Alex texted that she was on her way over to help us set up some of the safety stuff cuz I will lose my mind doing it myself." No sooner had Kara said it did their doorbell ring. Alex and Kelly were quickly led into the house and Alex was all but vibrating at the chance to see Charlotte again and in a more relaxed setting.

"Ok so where is my favorite niece and why is she not in my arms?"

"Hello to you too sister." Alex offered Kara a quick kiss and her eyes went back to where Charlotte was sitting. "Can I?" Alex pointed to the toddler and Kara nodded, but stepped in front of her.

"Of course you can, but let me get her because someone is a little protective of her." As if to make Kara's point for her Elsa got up off the floor and blocked anyone from picking up the baby. She didn't growl, but she showed her teeth, something she never did to anyone, especially not to Alex who she loved very much.

Kara scolded the dog quickly, but not in an unkind or angry way. "Hey, no ma'am. She is my baby, I can pick her up and you know Alex. No growling and no teeth. Be gentle." Elsa stopped the behavior quickly and sat down, allowing Kara to pick up Charlotte without issue and hand her to Alex. Kara then called the dog to her, still having a hand on Charlotte's back.

"See. Baby safe with Alex and Kelly. Ok?" Kara offer Charlotte a kiss before doing the same to Alex and Kelly before returning to Elsa. "Be gentle." Elsa went over and rubbed against Alex's before sitting at her feet.

"Good girl, Elsa. Good gentle." Alex was more than impressed and also deeply touched that the dog was so protective of the toddler so fast. Of course her thoughts were interrupted when Charlotte looked down to Elsa, clapped, and praised the dog, "Good Elsa gentle."

Literally everyone in the room stood still and Kara and Lena looked at each other instantly.

"You've got to be kidding me. Are those her first words here with you guys?" Alex didn't know to cry or laugh at the moment. Kara went over and kissed Charlotte again, "who's mommy's smart girl? Your puppy loves you huh?" Lena joined Kara and shook her head.

"Figures that her first words with us are about the dog. You really are a traitor you know." Lena offered Elsa gentle pets as she joked about the situation that was actually deeply meaningful to her and to Kara.

"Well, I think that calls for a nice dinner, on us. But now I get extra snuggles because she said her first words with you guys while I held her." Alex sat down and the couch and was not surprised when the dog joined her, forcing Kelly to sit on the other side of the dog. Something

that made everyone laugh. They ordered dinner and Alex handed Charlotte over to Kelly while she and Kara tried to set up as many baby gate as they could: focusing on blocking of the kitchen and guest bathrooms as well as the path to the balcony. Lena could hear the siblings swearing and scolding each other for swearing as they fought with the gates, eventually managing to get the ones they planned on up and Alex promised they would work on the crib after they ate dinner so that Kara and Lena weren't trying to do it alone.

As they sat down to dinner, Kara had to be reminded often to eat her food instead of fussing over Charlotte who was feeding herself better than she had at breakfast.

"Kara, it's plain pasta and cut green beans, I think she can handle it can't you monkey?" Alex cooed at the baby from her seat opposite Kara and the baby smiled and pointed to her food and then to herself.

"Charlie ea." This was followed by her clapping for herself while, once again, every adult at the table froze. Kara looked at Lena, "where did she get Charlie from?"

"I'm not sure love, but maybe its what her mother called her as a nick name." Kara looked sad at that and turned back to Charlotte.

Hey Charlotte, who is Charlie?" The toddler looked at Kara and smiled before pointing to herself, "Charlie." Kara nodded and looked at Lena who rubbed her hand over Charlotte's head and smiled, "Charlie it is then." That was Lena's way of telling Kara to not get stuck in the place of focusing on the sad and instead be present with them in the moment.


	18. Kitty Cat

The couple worked diligently to make sure that the house would pass the inspection the state would do to finalize Charlie's adoption. Despite their lawyers promising them that they did everything right and any judge in the state would be mad to deny their petition: between their vast wealth and the familial support from Kara's family, Charlie would never want for anything. That being said, Kara and Alex had assembled the furniture, but Kara asked Lena if she could paint something on the wall of the nursery. Lena could hardly deny something so heartfelt and she knew that art allowed Kara to focus and block out the things that often overwhelmed her with her powers. While Kara did that, Lena was in the living room with Charlie playing on the floor with Elsa nearby, leaving Lena to work from home: something she never thought she would willingly agree to do long term. She had told Jess that she would be working remotely for the next few months at least and that anyone who had an issue with that would be invited to leave her company or investment teams. Kara had requested that she be allowed to use her extensive leave and then use family paid leave on top of that. Lord knows she never really took a sick day when working with Cat. These had both been granted and allowed for the couple to be having a fairly lowkey day, until Lena's phone rang.

Seeing it was the front desk she answered it, "Lena Luthor speaking."

"Morning Ms. Luthor, there is a lady down here asking to be let up to your penthouse."

"And they aren't on the list?"

"No ma'am, but she is…persistent so we figured we would call." Lena thought about who could possibly be pitching a fit downstairs and giving her staff a hard time. Kara's family is on the list, along with a few of their friends. After some time thinking, the only logical answer dawned on Lena.

"Jimmy, put me on speaker phone."

"You're on speaker phone Ms. Luthor."

"Cat Grant, why are you giving the doorman a hard time?"

"I wouldn't need to give anyone a hard time if you just allowed me entrance to your castle."

Lena smirked, "Jimmy, go ahead and show Ms. Grant up to our floor and add her to the list for the future please."

"Yes ma'am." The call disconnected and Lena thought about telling Kara, but decided she would likely come check on them soon and would be pleasantly surprised by Cat's visit. Lena looked to see what Charlie and the dog were up to and was content to leave them as Charlie was flipping through a book designed for toddlers and Elsa laid next to her watching her rather intently. Lena made it to the door just as Cat knocked on the door. As she opened the door, Lena saw Cat dramatically take her sunglasses off and tap her foot against the floor in the hallway.

"All this security seems a bit much don't you think?" Lena shook her head.

"Hardly. Kara keeps track of all the assignation attempts that we've had foiled and you'll be glad to know this is security scaled down. Small talk aside: what do we owe the pleasure of your visit?"

"You can't think that you put in a request for my best assistant to take family leave as well as her PTO and not have it get back to me. I approved it of course, but I decided to see it for myself." Lena shook her head, "always searching for a story aren't you. Well, you came this far, you might as well get the inside scoop. Come on in." Lena allowed Cat to step inside before shutting and securing the door behind her.

"Kara is in the nursery working on a surprise, but I am sure she'll some out soon once she hears another voice." Before Lena could say much else Charlie started fussing and Lena heard quick steps from tiny feet coming around the couch. Charlie toddled toward the two women with Elsa two steps behind her and Lena bent down to encourage the little girl.

"What are you doing sweet girl? Huh, you are taking your doggy for a walk or is someone ready for lunch?" Charlie clapped her hands excitedly, "Charlie, Elsa lunch." Lena scooped up the little girl and tickled her tummy.

"I see, Charlie and Elsa want their lunch? Should we go feed your doggy first and then we get some lunch for you?" Charlie nodded, but by this point had noticed that a new person was there with them and she became a little shy, snuggling into Lena.

"It's ok love, this is a friend of ours. Mommy used to work for Cat. She's known Mommy a long time and has funny stories about mommy being silly." This perked the child up and she waved at Cat, who surprised Lena by waving back. Lena nodded to the child in her arms, "would you like to hold her?"

Cat seemed unsure initially, "will it upset her, being held by someone new?"

"It shouldn't and she needs to meet new people, better in our house where she knows she's safe." Lena looked to Charlie and smiled, "would you like to go say hi to Cat?"

Charlie smiled and reached out her arms, "kitty cat." The look on Cat's face made Lena laugh.

"That right love, like a kitty cat." Cat gently took the child from Lena and appeared to instantly remember everything she knew from her time raising her boys.

"Well, if I didn't know better I would say you look just like your momma. And just so we are clear, no one calls me kitty."

"Kitty, kitty, kitty." The toddler chanted it over and over again and Lena laughed as Cat made a face that told Lena she knew she had just made a mistake.

"Well congratulations Ms. Grant, you just got yourself a nickname." Cat rolled her eyes, but smiled at the child in her arms. "You my dear are only getting away with this because you are cute."

"Charlie cute." Cat smiled and Lena pointed toward the kitchen. "I should feed her and the dog if you want to join me. I'm sure Kara should be taking a break soon for the same reason." Cat followed and was curious as to why every step she took was mirrored by the dog when she would've thought the promise of food would be far more interesting.

"Any reason your mutt is following me like a shadow." Elsa barked softly before sitting just about a foot away from Cat.

"She doesn't like being called a mutt for starters, that's why she barked. And to answer your question, we haven't been able to separate the two of them since we brought Charlie home. Today is the first day she hasn't growled at someone new holding the baby. She just has to learn that other people pick up her new sister and she needs to accept that." Lena looked at the dog and was met with her usual goofy grin. Lena went over to grab the dog's food and Charlie reached for Lena to take her.

"Want to help momma feed Elsa?" Lena picked the toddler up and gently set her on the kitchen floor, handing her the scoop they use to feed Elsa. The toddler did her best to scoop the food into the bowl and to her credit she did well, but still managed to spill a good amount on the floor. Cat looked to Lena, expecting the CEO to cringe at her clean floor being covered in dog food. Instead she found Lena smiling as she took a picture of the moment. Once the dog was fed, Lena picked Charlie back up and handed her back to Cat.

"Would you mind holding her for a bit while I make lunch for her? I was going to make something for Kara and myself too, if you'd like to join us."

"If you insist." Lena smiled at Cat's half assed attempt to pretend to be brash. Cat returned to the living room with the child and soon saw Elsa appear and settle into a spot on the couch. Cat held the toddler on her lap and offered her one of the toys nearby that seemed to keep her attention.

"You really do look like Lena, which I am sure will serve you well as you grow up. I'll be honest with you since you can't say much more than simple sentences. I think your mommy is a special lady and she has a big heart. I was never a very good mom, at least not when it really counted. Point is, my kids deserved better. They deserved the kind of parents you have now. I know you lost someone, but if anyone can heal that pain it's your mommy. She and your momma, they lost a lot, too much really, and they still see so much good in this world. They are very good people and you are a lucky little girl to have them as parents. Lena is right, I have all the good stories about your mommy and when you get older I will tell you every single one. Until then, I will tell you that I love your mommy, like she is one of my kids and I like seeing her happy and I bet that being a mommy makes her happy. So I guess we both love her don't we." Charlie looked up from her toy and smiled at Cat.

"Love mommy." Cat smiled and kissed the top of the child's head. "That's right smart girl. Love mommy." Cat didn't notice that Lena could hear her conversation and Lena chose not to interrupt mostly because she never heard Cat Grant talk like that to anybody. Sure, it was widely known in their circle that she loved Kara. If Cat Grant hated you, you knew it. No employee ever lasted as long as Kara did and even Kara knew that Cat felt a pull towards her and Kara, ever searching for validation from a mother figure, seemed to gravitate towards Cat despite her cold exterior. Lena set up food for Charlie and grabbed plates for the adults.

"Cat you can bring her in here whenever, her food is ready." Cat returned to the kitchen soon after and spoke softly to the baby as she placed her in her highchair. Lena was surprised and it showed.

"What? You think I can't bond with a baby and get them strapped into a highchair? My kids may not like me very much, but they both survived infancy." Lena smiled and handed Cat a plate and just before she was about to call for Kara, the hero was walking down the hall.

"Hey babe, I am almost done in there, but I will finish it tomorrow cuz I am starving." Kara was typing something into her phone and only looked up when Charlie called, "mommy, kitty." Kara's head popped up and her confusion cleared when she saw Cat and she couldn't stop her laugh.

"I see peanut. Have we given Ms. Grant a new name while mommy was busy? I like it." Kara leaned over and kissed Charlie, before going around the island and offering Cat a gentle hug.

"Listen, do not encourage her with that name. She is only getting away with it so far because she is a child. You know better so watch it." Kara rolled her eyes and took a plate from Lena, offering a quick kiss as she did. Cat eyed them as she took a seat at the island. Normally she considered herself a bit of a cynic, but seeing Kara with Lena always made Cat secretly happy. She had known Lena for a large part of her life because Cat often crossed paths with the Luthor clan. Cat always had high hopes for Lena because she always stood out from her family as being perhaps the only one with a functioning heart so when she took up with Kara, Cat knew in her heart that Kara would be, if nothing else, loved deeply and cared for by the youngest Luthor.

"So, you two began playing house pretty quickly after getting married." Kara briefly looked at Charlie who was happily eating the food Lena had put in front of her, clearly oblivious to what the adults were saying.

"Duty called and Supergirl wasn't about to let her be sent into the system, and thankfully Lena and I agreed." Kara subtle glare at Cat surprised both Cat and Lena because, well, because Kara never was very firm with Cat Grant; it was a death wish for anyone who ever dared. That being said, when Kara worked for Cat directly she wasn't a mother and now that she was, soft spoken Kara had a momma bear edge to her that even Cat Grant didn't dare test. Lena watched as Cat smiled which was not the response Kara would be met with.

"I see. Well, it sounds like Supergirl made a wise choice and thank goodness you and Lena were ready to become a trio so soon after the wedding. I hope when she gets older she realizes how lucky she got, tragedy aside." Kara's face softened a bit and she nodded, feeling as though Cat understood her subtle warning to not push too much and just accept the situation as it was, no probing questions.

They made small talk as they ate, and it wasn't lost on Cat that in all the years she had known Kara, the young woman always hung on Cat's every word, something that Cat tried to slowly break Kara of once she was no longer her boss. She wanted Kara to speak her mind and not let people push her around. Now, however, Cat noticed that throughout the lunchtime discussions, Kara would look over to the toddler sitting between her and Lena far more than she looked at Cat. Cat assumed this was the feeling she might have felt if she had seen her first son really grow up and leave the house and she feared it would be the same proud heartbreak she would feel when Carter did the same. Her inner thoughts were interrupted when Charlie began to fuss, causing Kara to stand up and undo the highchair table.

"What are we fussing for peanut? Huh, you just ate. I bet you need to be changed huh. Let's go do that and put you in a shirt you didn't manage to spill your lunch on." The toddler reached up for Kara and giggled as Kara peppered her face in fast kisses as she lifted her up.

"I'll be right back. Let me just get her changed." Kara turned to leave the room and Charlie reached over her shoulder and called out, rather loudly, "Kitty". Kara turned around to see her wife trying not laugh and Cat doing a poor job pretending to be annoyed.

"Don't worry baby, Kitty will still be here when we come back." This settled the child who willingly allowed Kara to carry her into the master bedroom where most of her clothes still were since Kara was working on the nursery. Lena quickly put the dishes in the dishwasher and cleaned off the highchair plater before setting back up for when they had dinner later.

Cat observed all this and smirked, "for two people who have been parents for less than a week you two seem to have fallen into this relatively easy."

"Trust me it's not without its challenges. If Eliza wasn't still helping us get things settled and Alex helping Kara with furniture and safety things, I can promise you we'd be a mess right now."

"Oh I doubt that very much. You have such a sharp eye and Kara won't ever let herself be bad at anything. Plus, you both know what it's like to lose so much so young. If there is a silver lining in all of this I think we can agree that it's this little girl finding the two of you." Lena smiled and nodded.

"We are certainly very grateful for the opportunity. You seem to have softened since you left."

"Hardly."

"Really? So I didn't hear you telling my daughter about how much you love my wife, or about how if anything can soothe her pain of losing her mom its having us as mothers?"

"You were clearly hearing things. You should see a psychologist about that." Lena smiled, "I definitely should." This friendly back and forth was only interrupted when they heard Charlie crying. Lena grabbed the baby monitor and heard Kara talking to the baby, trying to soothe her.

"I can head out if Kara needs an extra set of hands. I just wanted to swing by and tell you both not to fret about the time off request." Lena shook her head and pointed to the baby monitor. "Trust me, she is fine right now. At night sometimes it takes us both, but you should do yourself a favor and listen to this." Cat sat back down and could Kara gently trying to soothe the child.

"Hey hey, why all the tears? We just ate and you are all clean and in fresh clothes that smell nice. I think maybe you are tired and are fighting it. That does not make sense silly girl, do you have any clue how great naps are? Probably not, but they are. That's ok, we can snuggle a while and see if you won't settle into a nap." Kara hummed slowly and Lena could hear her walking around the bedroom.

"_Never pictured myself singing lullabies  
Sitting in a rocking chair in the middle of the night  
In the quiet, in the dark  
You're stealing every bit of my heart with your mommy's eyes  
What a sweet surprise_

_And now I'm holdin' what I never knew I always wanted  
I couldn't see, I was blind 'til my eyes were opened  
I didn't know there was a hole  
Something missing in my soul 'til you filled it up  
Oh, with your love."_

Lena knew that Charlie had fallen asleep because the fussing had stopped. Kara hummed a little more with no words said to keep the baby asleep. She walked back into the kitchen and Lena wordlessly reached out for Kara to hand her the toddler and pointed to living room. Lena left the kitchen with Elsa hot on her tail. Kara looked back to Cat who was smirking.

"What?"

"Nothing. It's just nice to see how quickly you both created a system. Also, why was I never told you could sing so well? I know everyone talks about it, but I never heard you sing a damn word." Cat pointed to the baby monitor and Kara suddenly understood.

"Well, singing at work probably would've pissed off my boss." Kara winked at Cat who smiled.

"Probably. Well, it was worth the wait. I should get going. I just wanted you to hear from me that your time off is secure and you'll be set for quite some time."

"I figured it should last a few months at least and the family leave would give me 6 extra weeks." Cat gathered her things and shook her head.

"You have more than enough to last you for likely a year if not more."

"There is no way that's possible. I mean sure I never took much time off when I worked for you, but there is no way I have that much saved." Cat dug in her purse and handed Kara some folded papers.

"When I left I never actually left the company, just handed over the title. Which meant that I still had every single sick day and day off still sitting in my file. And we both know I never went on real vacations. They never cashed out my PTO, so I have gifted it to you. By my calculations you could stay home for at least a year if you so choose. Of course you can go back to work whenever you wish and the days you don't use will still be there should you ever need them for anything else. Might come in handy for baby number two."

Kara eyes got big and gave herself away instantly, "how on earth do you know that we are trying for a baby?"

Cat smirked, "I didn't, but I do now. Also, your wife's prenatal vitamins are sitting on the counter and I can read the label from here." Kara blushed a deep red, realizing that she sort of did this to herself, but she didn't mind Cat knowing, not really anyway.

"Well, I should get going, I don't want to disrupt nap time. Congratulations Kara, motherhood suits you well."

"You don't have to leave Ms. Grant. Charlie would be happy to see you still here after she wakes up and Eliza will be back from the store soon I'm sure and she never learned how not to cook for hungry teenagers, so you are more than welcome to join us for dinner." Cat smiled and surprised Kara by setting her bag back down on the counter.

"What the hell, sure. Only because I do not want to make your child cry because I left while she was asleep." Kara smiled and pointed to the opposite counter, "good, can I make you something drink: coffee, tea, something stronger?"

"Coffee would be fine." As Kara made coffee Cat wandered around the open layout of the kitchen and parlor. She say the locked gate leading onto the balcony, the toys neatly organized in different tubs in the room, along with a gate blocking Charlie, and Cat guessed Elsa, from getting too close to any fire the couple might have going. Returning to the kitchen, Cat watched as Kara poured some coffee into a travel mug and add a straw and before she could be confused she watched as Kara took it over to Lena, offering both her and Charlie a quick kiss. As she returned to the kitchen she handed Cat a mug and kept one for herself.

"If we are holding Charlie it's hard to drink anything so straws are our best options right now."

"You two act like she's been here all her life, it's nice to see that. Looks like my assistant turned reporter is all grown up. I like this Kara."

Kara shrugged her shoulder, "still same Kara."

"No you aren't. I didn't mean it as an insult Kara: you have always been a rather special person with a big heart. When you worked for me, you were scared of me for a while, which in retrospect is what I wanted. Everyone before you quit and everyone after you sucked outright. You would take notes, do exactly what I said, let me say some rather bitchy things to you and you almost never faltered or pushed back. I knew you were looking for praise and let's face it, I do not hand that out willingly. I had always hoped that eventually you would find your voice, stand up to people like me who pushed you around and for once ask for the things you want. Watching you now, with Lena and Charlie, this is what I wanted for you: a life where you said loudly and proudly to the world that Kara Danvers wants something, is going to work hard for it and they can either help you or get fucked." Kara stifled a laugh.

"Language." Cat waved her off and continued.

"You have been through a lot in your life Kara and I will probably always feel a little guilty for not doing more to ease that pain. Lena's been through a lot too and she didn't have the blessing of a family that loved her as she is. I watched her at social events for years and I never once saw her happy. That is, of course, until she started going to those parties with you on her arm. I'm glad you asked for the things you wanted Kara, and I am even more glad that you fought like hell for them. I mean shit, look at the result." The two of them looked into the living room and Kara couldn't help but smile as she watched Lena rub the toddler's back as she slept.

"I may not be the person to turn to for mother advise Kara, in fact you probably should never ask. That being said, I know a good mother when I see one and lucky for that little girl, I see two brilliant mothers in this house right now. I know the loss of her mother will hurt, but I also know that if there are two people alive who can keep her mother's memory alive while at the same time being her parents, it's you and Lena. Charlie and any baby you two have are lucky Kara. Like I said, motherhood looks good on you and on Lena."

"I don't know what to say to that other than thank you." Cat nodded and smiled at Kara.

"You can say that you'll try to break your daughter's habit of calling me 'Kitty'."

"Oh, not on your life. If anything, we are going to reinforce the hell out of it. I think it's rather poetic: all that time, purposefully saying my name wrong. Now here we are, and my daughter will not call you by your actual name."

Cat shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose, "dear god, I brought this on myself."

"You sure did…Kitty." Kara walked back into the bedroom to change her clothes after painting all day, leaving Cat with absolutely no response other than to quietly accept her fate as being forever referred to by Kara's children as Kitty.


End file.
